I started working for a new employer. Before I was even here 1yr she sat by my spouse at a co-worker wedding AND at the x-mas party. Why? Wouldn't she have her date sit by a man she did not know? She is divorced, her 1st spouse messed around on her. We tried to fix her up with our friend, took some drinks over to her house. She told my spouse to bring them in her house. They were in there alone! She offered him a drink but when I poked my head in she never offered me one! One day the office got to leave early but she stayed late. My spouse was also here doing yard work! Coincidence? I confronted him & asked if he wants her. He said he wants me & is not interested in her. I think I should do everything I can to keep them away from each other. One day he went out for a drink after work & never told me. She was here so I know he was not with her. If he can't tell me that one thing what more is he holding in? Am I stupid jealous???? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-09-18 06:27:47 · 8 answers · asked by luvcrops 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No your not stupid jealous. Your seeing signs and your acting on them. Good for you.
Tell her to back off, and confront hubby and gently let him know your concerns and feelings. If he's committed to you he'll avoid her at all cost.
Good luck.
2007-09-18 06:39:08 · answer #1 · answered by ellen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're probably reading too much into it from the sounds of it. My wife used to be very jealous of my co workers and I, being young and foolish, just resented her for it instead of doing things to put her mind at ease. Silly me. In any case I reacted to her confrontation of me with jealousy all the time in a very negative and resentful way and it caused so much trouble between us for many years, so don't do that.
I don't know what to tell you except that you must always work toward building openness, trust and respect instead of building up mistrust and accusations that will cause both of you to close up and become increasingly suspicious.
If this girl is attractive, then of course on some level he will be attracted just like you would be attracted if Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp moved in next door. Attraction is natural and everyone experiences it. Attraction and action are two different things and if you treat attraction like it's some terrible crime then he will hold in his feelings and you will have less trust between you. I know it may be hard at first but if you are light hearted and joke about these things and learn to resist the temptation to be jealous then he will be more open and honest with you and you won't have to wonder what he's up to. Also, this will make you appear stronger and more self confident and more like a partner and less like a ball and chain and he will have more respect, appreciation and desire for you.
One last thing, when you hit your late 30's and early 40's you'll be hitting your sexual peak and you'll understand how he's feeling right now, and you'll get the chance to even up the score;-)
FYI My wife and I have been together for 26 years now. Not all of them happy but all of them worthwhile.
Outback Bob
2007-09-18 13:52:46 · answer #2 · answered by Duck! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would wonder why you don't trust him. Has he done something to you to make you think that he would be unfaithful to you? You also mention that he went out for drinks with him not telling you. He obviously did something in the past for you to second guess him. If you trust him, you have to work through this yourself. If you don't you will become a wreck worried about him and what he's doing all the time. You are better than that!
2007-09-25 10:57:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are stupid jealous. The woman sat next to your husbnd and offered him a drink. Big whoop. Either you married someone you trust or you are an idiot and married someone you don't trust.
2007-09-18 14:19:55 · answer #4 · answered by Blade_III 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just need to calmly explain that he needs to stay as far away from that crazy witch as humanly possible or you're going to cut off his man parts, stick them in a blender and serve them to him for breakfast because you REFUSE to feel bad about some crazy woman trying to interfere with your relationship.
He doesn't need to be doing anything to make you doubt him.
If he loves you, he'll respect your wishes.
2007-09-18 13:35:07 · answer #5 · answered by Roland'sMommy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ever thought he didn't even notice her?
It could be he didn't care if she was there and that was why he didn't say anything. People share information THEY think is important. It could be that your husband just does not see her as an important fact.
2007-09-18 13:43:31 · answer #6 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope your right, who knows what did the two of them did
talk to your husband & tell him if you ever see her & him together again or even if you two were talking each other
you will leave him
2007-09-18 13:35:43 · answer #7 · answered by maya 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes, you are being stupid. even if she wants him it does not sound like he wants her.
2007-09-18 13:32:33 · answer #8 · answered by wickedfreakinawesome 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋