Who is really to blame for having an affair?

Question

The man has commitments , has a wife, She, no commitments
Though she may seem like a *****, if she knew he was married, Its not her fault that a married man cant be faithful?

So whos to blame the "marriage wrecker" or the "weak" husband

LOL!! Im not married Im 16!!Lol

Answer 1

Both, but he should not go looking in the first place!

If he is unhappy, he should leave his wife before doing the unforgivable!

Answer 2

Hey hun!

It's funny - I've just been asking whether cybersex is cheating: you should answer it! ;-)

I think that overall, the person at fault is the person who decides to be adulterous. There will always be a naive woman who genuinely falls in love with an attached man and romanticises their affair. If she has never met the wife, she is less likely to feel guilty about it. Even if the woman is a blatant HO who just likes to bag married men, the decision ultimately lies with the married man. Even if the wife is neglecting the husband and making him unhappy, the decision STILL lies with the married man. There are other options besides cheating.

Of course, if the mistress knows full well that her lover is married or attached, then she is not blameless. But if the man said no in the first place, as he should, there would be no affair to speak of.

It works the other way too - we can't all blame the men. Women can be just as bad.

I REALLY hate cheaters, Henny.

xx Emmie

Answer 3

It is both of their faults. If you know that someone is married, that's just a line you don't knowingly cross.
Unless the person is just a cheater, when someone has an affair there is usually an emotional or psychological need that isn't been met in their current relationship. The 'marriage wrecker' probably suffers from low self-esteem and needs to feel the power of being able to take another person's partner. The 'weak' husband is just that...weak. When a good man isn't loved and appreciated and the 'home wrecker' shows him some attention, he feels needed and admired.
Everyone is accountable for their own actions regardless of their past sufferings or needs. People that try to BLAME others for what they are doing or have done need to face reality and take responsiblity for their lifestyle....that's a part of becoming mature.
Whether you are the 'weak husband' or the 'home wrecker' seek counseling and start a new life that you are proud of....one that you can take responsiblity for because you aren't ashamed of your actions and try to reconcile them by blaming someone else. Good luck!!!

Answer 4

mmmmm what a question..
Well first the man is in a commitment, so he is responsible for that commitment. If the women goes into it not knowing and finds after the fact out that's one thing but if she pursues him knowing thats were I have an issue. Women are stronger and in a position of power when it comes to sexuality. They can just about get a man to do any thing So miss using this power is pretty underhanded.
But whos perfect and all situations are very different there is no one reason or answer for the question.
It's best to find some one else single after all the divorce rate is around 60% or more in this country and there are tones of men that have never been married. Every body deserves 100% of someone.

Answer 5

First of all, if she new he was married then they are both to blame. At no time is it exceptable for a women who is knowledgeable of a man being married to sleep with him. Now the man was weak for falling into this temptation, but had the women not been there the man would have never fell. NOw just put your self in his wifes shoes. You think everything is going okay with you marr. and poss. family (if he has one) then your husband has an affair and everything goes to hell. IT IS NEVER OKAY TO CHEAT!!!! Now if this doesn't seem like enough than the women has no soul. Any women who knowingly has a relationship with a married man is way to self stuck. If you absolutly have no heart to go as far as breaking up a marriage because she can't find a single man. Well anyway good luck and I hope all works out!!!
P.S. I hope your not offened by the truth.

Answer 6

I agree - it does take "two to tango". However, the man has taken vows to be faithful to his partner and should not even be looking in the first place. The woman is a fool if she dates a married man - she has no right to mess around with someone else's husband. People who do these things are generally very selfish people who live in the moment and have a poor grip on the reality of what life is.

Answer 7

thats a very difficult question. There could be all sorts of reasons. Perhaps the marriage has gone sour, the communication has stopped, the love is gone, etc. All relationships have their ups and downs but if they are worked at, and worth working for then there should be no need for extra marital affairs. If this lady doesnt know he is married then he is very dishonest he is going to cause more hurt. Its a sad fact of life though, people do have affairs and as ive said for a whole range of reasons. I wouldnt be pointing any fingers it takes two.

Answer 8

In my opinion it is both people. The married man is at fault because he has made a commitment to his wife to be with only her for the rest of his life. On his part he is to blame for breaking his marriage vows.

The other woman is at fault from a moral standpoint. A woman with morals and values would not interfere in another's marriage.

Answer 9

Both of them. His blame is obvious to everyone. She knew he was married and proceeded with the affair anyway. I have been approached by married women, I don't get involved with them because it is morally wrong. As you said, I made no commitments to her husband but I accept that their marriage is a union of 2 people, not 3.

Answer 10

Well the ultimate blame would go on the person with the supposed commitment. That person if married has made a promise to the other person, they are responsible for their choices. If they choose to follow the base sexual desire over the love of the person they have made that promise to then they hold the blame.

The person on the outside may be wrong, but they have made no promises. They may even have become involved unwittingly. Who knows.

Answer 11

The married person has the commitment not the so called marriage wrecker, but only if this person has no idea of the marital status of the other person, let us not forget some women do this too.