I have a good friend that tends to pin one friend against the other. She creates a web of lies and deceit while doing it. I don't even know if she's aware of what she's doing, because she completely denies peoples' accusations. To top it off, she accuses other people of lying all the time. I have caught her in many lies myself! And, she has broken up a lot of friendships. It's not until those two people confront one another that the truth is revealed.
We are grown women! How do I deal with this person? Should I warn her? Thanks guys...
2007-09-18 06:16:45 · 21 answers · asked by tiffguam 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I think she will end up sinking her own ship!!! Just avoid her and dont say anything incriminating about anyone!! She will crash and burn!
2007-09-18 06:28:08 · answer #1 · answered by L 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Deceitful Friends
2016-12-18 13:27:58 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. You don't want to embarass him, but you don't want to put up with the bull either. Keep in mind, he must have low self esteem or he wouldn't think he has to MAKE himself interesting. I think I'd look for something you KNOW he does well, or something good that you KNOW he's done...and kind of brag on him about it (when he can hear you). Then, when he tries to add onto that story later (when you're alone)...say "Oh, come on. I believe you did this, but NO one does that." If you do that EVERY time he starts, he might stop. Just try to break him of it gently. If you confront him with a really hardline, you'll only make his self esteem that much worse, and if he already feels THAT bad about himself, he'll feel AWFUL if he thinks his best friend thinks he's so lame, he has to lie.
2016-03-13 04:47:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say don't even confront her, just get that toxic friend out of your life! If that's not possible, because it sounds like you have a group that might not all see her for who she is and wish to remove her like you do. In that case, don't go gossiping to your other friends about her, I think talking to her about it is the best idea. Be honest and aggressive. Say you see her for who she is and you don't understand why she's the way she is, but you don't appreciate it and it would be better for everyone involved if she could just treat her friends right.
2007-09-18 06:21:58 · answer #4 · answered by graybear 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be true to yourself before anyone else.If a "friend" is displaying morals -or a lack of - that you don't agree with, then it is your job as a friend to offer a different perspective...hoping she will get a clue and behave with some integrity. If she chooses to be blind to any other way of behaving, or if she gets angry with you for getting in her business, then I would let her go as a friend. I know from experience, that it feels better to stand up for the person who is being wronged and mistreated than to stand by and watch someone you consider a friend treat others poorly...stand up for what is right- make some waves- or you might appear just as guilty - by association.
2007-09-18 06:31:44 · answer #5 · answered by glasbyrd23 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think this is a friend you need in your lives anymore. I would seriously think about telling her what she has done and how it has effected friends that have come and gone. She will never stop as she craves the attention. As you say, you are growing woman and its time to stop this childish behavior. Find some friends you can rely on and talk to without this woman being in the middle. People like this never change because they enjoy the scandal. Best of luck.
2007-09-18 06:21:36 · answer #6 · answered by Twinkle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, here is the thing .... if she is all you say she is and does all you say she does, then she is simply NOT a GOOD friend. Personally, as I have grown older I have found that removing myself from relationships that upset me, or from being around people who behave very unpleasantly (as your friend does) makes life a whole lot nicer and I really don't miss them at all ! Do yourself a favor and hang with friends who ACT like friends!
2007-09-18 06:21:18 · answer #7 · answered by naniannie 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why do you and your friends continue to keep this trouble making person in your life? There is just a time when enough is enough! I would cut her off. Anyone that wrongs me is gone. Especially if they play dumb and deny the things that they have done. It has worked for me in the past just stop associating with her in any way. Toxic people are bad for you. Surround yourself with good decent people who want what is best for you.
2007-09-18 06:28:13 · answer #8 · answered by Missy 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You call her a friend... Ditch her!!! Just shut her off from you and your friends. It may take several of you together to do it all at once (to stop her from lying about each of you individually,) but I personally would not retain someone like that in my life.
2007-09-18 06:21:41 · answer #9 · answered by NY PTK 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well I certainly wouldn't call her a friend. I would completely stop having anything to say or do with her and I would inform my other friends as to why.
2007-09-18 06:22:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
and you are friends with this person?
I've always been the person to believe stick with your friends threw thick and thin.
But when her actions and words and ruining your other friendships and she doesn't seem to care/ realize I would tell her. Then if you doesn't stop I would stop hanging out with her.
2007-09-18 06:20:55 · answer #11 · answered by John 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋