what can you do if you have an anger problem that you work on but because of this, certain people?

Question

rubbish your character and humiliate your character to others, socially ostracize you to others, portraying you as an ''aggressive lunatic'' to other people and are also defaming you and portraying you as a person your not?

im a 30 year old bpd sufferer and ive had an anger problem since 16, because of abuse and trauma.
iam waiting for therapy and iam actively trying to work on this problem, as its one of the biggest problems i have..

but what can i do when im being portrayed as'' that '' character to others?

iam extremely upset about this

Answer 1

All you can do is prove them wrong.

People will eventually form their own judgments. When they see you doing your best to control your anger, and dealing with things positively, many will recognize that.

Try not to let the blabbers bother you too much.

Over time, you'll start to know different people around you. When you identify those who are fair, you can begin to let them know that you're aware of problems, and are making progress toward dealing with them appropriately.

You don't say what you're doing about the anger thing. I'm hoping you've gotten your hands on all the good advice (such as leaving a situation before going ballistic).

There will be people who see that.

Seek out those who don't see you as a monster.

It will take time, but things can get better for you. Don't give up, just because there are those who don't want to give you a chance to change.

Answer 2

Be a fake jerk like them.....
Now I'm not trying to be a total smartass here. Think about it. Are all people really 100% who they really are with everybody? No. And that includes these people here. These insensitive jerks knowing what your problems are or have been are just feeding into the abuse. The hell with them, avoid them at all costs. You do not need this. You go on working on your therapy and do the very best you can. It's you that has to be pleased with you first, not everybody else.

Look at it another way. If one of these people is obese, are you gonna portray them outwardly as the "fat cow" each time they pick up a donut? No. I'm sure everybody will think it, but you don't say things like that. Calling you an aggressive lunatic is just as bad as calling somebody a fat cow.

Relax my friend, there is more to life than worrying about people like these. You're 30 years old! You've reached a milestone....celebrate! Get in touch with nature, ride a bike, go hiking, swimming, etc, you'll be surpirsed how good you'll feel to get out of the daily rut.

Good luck.

Answer 3

MAN it is a tough path you have to walk but no one but you can walk it.
Anger is comdemmed in our society these days so us angry people get a bad peg.
I was abuse in my youth but I was pretty tough. Kik the heck out of my old man at 14. He never touched me after that. Seems that vented a lot of my anger. Yet I still find turning the other check a difficult thing as some people just deserve a good verbal lashing, yet I have come to realize getting mad at my dad maybe was a good thing but being mad at the world isn't.
I have a great girlfriend, good job and 2 fine kids. I did okay. I rose above it all.

Yea I amitt most of my friends are women and the guys have to be extra good to me but I'm okay with that.

Answer 4

There are a lot of people who use self-talk to handle what is going on inside their minds. When self-talk is not monitored cautiously it can lead to drastic effects not only on one’s personality but also affects its mentality and psychology. Self-talk is a type of conversation which we conduct with ourselves. In literature we call it soliloquy. Brain’s reticular activating system never forgets what we repeat again and again. Ironically this system can not recognize what is beneficial to the individual and what is not. Think you can, think you can't; either way, you'll be right- a saying goes like this. Therefore when ever we ‘talk’ with ourselves, we should be cautious, very cautious in fact. There are a lot of audio programs which can help and there are a lot of online books. If I recall there is a book ‘self-talk solutions’ which is every effective in this scenario.

Answer 5

Being upset about something like this is what put you where you are now.

I have experienced abuse and trauma also during my childhood and teen years. I had anger issues also, and sought psychotherapy.

What I found out is that it is a process, not a switch that you turn off and on. It takes years to learn how to settle yourself down and stop the abusive cycle.

Good luck to you. The first thing you need to do is learn that others only reflect what you feel about yourself. If you feel badly about yourself, they are going to pick up on that.

Answer 6

I have people who angers me greatly but I do not say anything. You can not go through life saying things to people who angers you, you to bit your lip and go on. At times I need extra medication for my stomach or an extra tranquilizer. You have to do what you can to get along with others or it will be a lonely life.

Answer 7

All you can do it prove them wrong. People are rude and harsh and very selfish.
My brother was labled difficult in school and all they did was focus on his behavior and not his education..he finished the 7th grade and never went back. I feel very bad that you were put into that situation. People should really just mind their own business and let you work to help yourself.