I dont think there should be a need for my family to invite my ex wife over on a weekly basis and to family functions. I dont feel like hanging out with my exwife, that's why we got divorced. I am not asking my family to hate her. This situation has pushed me away from my family. My ex spends more time with them than I do because of this. The family sees no problem with this. Any advice?
2007-09-18 05:53:02 · 14 answers · asked by dkullgren072 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your family probably just wants to maintain ties with your son and by proxy, his mother (she IS his mother after all). If you don't feel like hanging out with her, then don't.
You probably feel betrayed by your family, but they aren't seeing it that way.
My advice? Don't be there, don't tell your family they can't do it (you have no control over this), and just let it go (easier said than done).
2007-09-18 06:14:24 · answer #1 · answered by Wayner 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, this is really not a good situation for you. No, your family should not be inviting your ex over at anytime or for any reason. Why can't you go for dinner and bring your son, so they can see him? This makes no sense to have to have her there. The only relationship you should have with your ex is that of a business-like co-parenting relationship. Your business together should be that of bringing up a well adjusted, happy child that gets to know each or you separately. Notice the word "separately". I can see how this would distance you from your family. Explain to them how uncomfortable you are and that you will no longer be attending when she is there. This may force their hand, but you can also tell them that if they want to continue a friendship with her, then they can do it on their own time, not family functions...it's inappropriate. The only thing you owe to your ex is what is in the divorce decree and nothing more. Boundaries need to be set and followed by everyone. What is going to happen if you have a new woman in your life? How uncomfortable would it be for her to get to know your family with the ex sitting there? Your family needs to cut the ties, at least as you wish for family things. You are their blood and she is not. Best of luck and I hope your family realizes your feelings are far more important than hers!
2007-09-18 16:28:34 · answer #2 · answered by 2008girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To them she is still like family... and they might be doing this so that they can see your son... in a divorce you are not only losing a person but that family as well...
Dont look at it as a bad thing... look t it as its for your son.... i know thats hard...
or next time there is a family funtion bring a date... she might stop going... but i would hate to see things between your son fall down the tubes because you dont want to hang out with her...
It's about the CHILD not the parents
2007-09-18 13:04:45 · answer #3 · answered by happygolcky75 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have a child together it is time to grow up and get along for the kid. You don't have to love each other just get along and show your son that you are both great parents. My husbands Mom and her ex go to family functions when the other person is there and get along. The kids are all older now and really enjoy having both parents for Christams and such. No one said you have to hang out together just get along for the kids sake.
2007-09-19 10:50:10 · answer #4 · answered by bigjuggies79 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with your family. Make sure to tell them that you are happy that they maintain a good relationship with her, because it is good for your child, but that you are uncomfortable with the weekly dinners. How is that going to work when you meet someone else? Your ex and your new gf at the same dinner table=disaster.
2007-09-18 13:20:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does your wife have custody of your son? If so, makes perfect sense for them to invite her along to, after all, even though you two are divorced she is still family because she is the mother of your child. If she doesn't have custody, still makes sense, it is a way for her to spend some time with him. My advice would be to stop making such a big deal out of it, she is still your son's mother.
2007-09-18 13:05:05 · answer #6 · answered by littlevivi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe they hope that if you spend more time together, you'll get back together. Parents can be like that sometimes - maybe they think it's better for your son.
In any case, tell them in no uncertain terms that you don't like it and won't be coming to the dinners anymore if they continue to invite her. If they want to see their grandson, tell them that you will bring him. You can also explain things to your ex wife and tell her it's uncomfortable for you and you would appreciate it if she declined their invitations.
2007-09-18 13:35:58 · answer #7 · answered by abrennan01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its their grandson's mother, and they have a relationship with them. You are asking them to turn off their emotions for her.
I do feel for you, my mother worships the ground my ex walks on, even after more than a decade. My advice is to get a girlfriend and make a point of bringing her to everything. That way you don't have to spend time with your ex and she will get the message and stay home.
2007-09-18 13:28:07 · answer #8 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I doubt they really want to see her, only your son and they are trying to keep up a rapport with her so that they may see your son more frequently. Its obvious that you don't care enough to spend as much time with him as you can.
If I were in your shoes, I would do anything just to spend any time with my child, even if it means spending time with the X. Sometimes we're uncomfortable with certain situations, but some of us will swallow our pride if it means that we can spend even one more second with our children.
2007-09-18 13:09:41 · answer #9 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your family want, You give time for your ex wife and you marry again with your exwife
2007-09-18 13:07:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋