how do I detect child abuse...seriously?

Question

my neighbors girls are 8 & 10, I suspect something wrong with the way the father treats them...they just moved in a few months ago, the father is from Guatamala and the mother is white, she just had a new baby right wwhen they moved in. Now she is back to work during the day and the father works at night and stays at home w/ the baby during the day. Anyway, I drive the girls to school along w/ my daughter and this morning they didn't come to my door as usual, so my daughter went over there and the girls said there father was screaming at them and they were crying, and that the father would take them to school. Last night I was over there talking w/ the mother and left my phone there, so this morning I went back ther after I took my daughter to school and the girls answered the door, you could see their faces were red and they were upset, i asked them if they we're going to school and they said they were staying home sick. My daughter told me that the father has choked the 10 yr old,?

Answer 1

Yes, please do report them. But I would call the local school in order to report their "absence"...tell the school that the girls are not sick, that they are crying all the time because their father is screaming at them, and that this happens frequently. Let the school investigate. The school will send a truant officer and flag the school psychologist. Then, they will call in Social Services if they suspect child abuse.

They are being at least verbally abused. How does your daughter know the father choked the 10 year old? Did she witness this? This is important. If she did witness this or if the other child told her this happened, you must report this to the school right away.

You can call Social Services directly, I suppose. You may or may not have to be involved after the initial phone call.

But please, do report it. You might save someone's life. Even if you're sparing the girls from the constant threats and screaming, you're saving them. The man might just be overtired from working all night and caring for the baby during the day, but the stress can break an ordinary person and he could take it out on the kids. People snap.

Social Services might provide parenting, child care resources, anything. They will remove the children only if there is a real physical threat to the children.

Good luck.

Answer 2

I think you should call the school and ask for an appointment with the school guidance counselor. You can go in and talk to the counselor and tell them what you've seen. They are trained to deal with these kinds of situations. They'll probably try to talk to the girls and maybe send a social worker to visit the house. They will probably keep you anonymous when they confront the parents of these girls and the parents won't suspect you for telling on them because it was the school that was concerned. You could also just call the police or look in your local phone book for a child abuse hotline. Just make sure you do something, it's better to be safe than sorry. Imagine the guilt you would have to live with if something happened to those girls and you had never spoken up for them. Good luck!

Answer 3

You can call your local child protective agency and it will stay anonymous and just let them know what's going on and that you aren't really positive -- get their "take" on it. It sounds to me like they are under extreme stress if he's screaming like that (or he could have serious issues related to anger) -- just remember, once that call is made, you can't take it back. The girls' faces were probably red from crying so much since dad was mad. Keeping them home from school.....don't know why he'd do that unless he thought they were too upset to go there crying. That's a tough call you have. If you feel uncomfortable about calling right now, just keep your eyes and ears open for EVERYTHING. They evidently don't have a happy/stable childhood and they probably have money issues like the rest of us.....and that is sad BUT it probably won't constitute "abuse" - ya know? A case worker will pull the kids aside and ask them questions w/o parents around. They could ask the girls if dad ever choked them. They may lie too.....ya just never know.

Answer 4

Did your daughter see the father choke his daughter or did her friend tell her this? Either way... it's child abuse and should be reported. You may also want to mention the fact that this father works all night and cares for the kids during the day. The guy has to sleep sometime so if he's sleeping during the day, who's watching the kids? If they are not being properly supervised that is a cause for concern too.

Answer 5

I would say that 9 times out of 10 your child will tell you the truth about something like that. Maybe talk to the school guidance counselor as the first step. Kids usually feel safe speaking with them, if the counselor sees a need she can involve Child Protective Services. If you see things getting worse or your daughter brings worse information, than report it. You are completely annonymous, so the neighbor won't know it was you. It's a tough spot... good luck!

Answer 6

The first step in helping abused or neglected children is learning to recognize the signs of child abuse and neglect.

To report abuse, call the National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD.

If the abuse is a life-threatening emergency, call 911.

Physical child abuse is an injury resulting from physical aggression. Even if the injury was not intended, the act is considered physical abuse.
The injury from physical child abuse may be the result of:

Beating, slapping, or hitting.
Pushing, shaking, kicking, or throwing.
Pinching, biting, choking, or hair-pulling.
Burning with cigarettes, scalding water, or other hot objects.
Severe physical punishment.

Answer 7

this is a very serious topic .. you need to be absolutely sure .. this site offers some signs:

The behavior of children may signal abuse or neglect long before any change in physical appearance. Some of the signs may include:

Nervousness around adults
Aggression toward adults or other children
Inability to stay awake or to concentrate for extended periods
Sudden, dramatic changes in personality or activities
Unnatural interest in sex
Frequent or unexplained bruises or injuries
Low self-esteem
Poor hygiene

check URL for more details

Answer 8

Verbal abuse is just as bad. But tougher to prove. If the girls are either scared of you, or really clingy that may be a sign. It happens all the time. The best I did was try to keep a certain little girl at my house as much as possible. With paren't permission. Usually, an abusive parent will welcome getting 'rid' of the problem child every chance they get. Sorry it's all I got.

Answer 9

i worked for a women's shelter for a few years and honestly, one of the biggest problems when it comes to abuse is when people just turn their heads. you can call the child abuse hotline and make an anonymous report, but if you truly have that gut feeling that something is just wrong keep your eye out and keep trying to report even after that anonymous call. if those kids ever tell you or your daughter something about abuse, LISTEN. the majority of times a claim is made by a child it is accurate. even if they recant after making the claim it's usually b/c of fear of the results of telling and/or fear of the abuser(s). it's better to have them investigated than to stand by while abuse happens. if anything maybe the parents need parenting help or anger management classes. don't feel guilty for trusting your gut feeling.

Answer 10

Up until the 1/3 of your post I was going to say 'mind your own business'.

However, keeping them home from school and choking them is certainly concerning. Consider that he might be keeping them home to avoid signs of abuse being seen by teachers.

You should call CPS.