how did you get over a split?

Question

To all you people, male and female that have gone through a divorce. How did you cope? how did you get through it? Is there light at the tunnel for me? I am splitting from my husband and I dont know how I will get through it.

im 29, we have been married three years and we do not have children

im 29, we have been married three years and we do not have children

Answer 1

Congratulations on realizing that you are worth more. :)

I got through my divorce by surrounding myself with friends. I got back into activities I had dropped out of for a while because I had been depressed. I forced myself out of my comfort zone to try things I hadn't tried before and found that I really enjoyed them. Basically, I made it my number goal to have FUN. I knew there were close girlfriends I could cry to when I needed, and there were days I did, but for me - by the time I got divorced, I had already grieved the death of my marriage because it was a long time coming. You will get through this!!!! A year from now you will be a happy, healthy, whole person ready to take on the world. {Big hug}

Answer 2

It's the hardest thing I've ever went through in my life...but I survived it. It took a long time to get to a point of functioning on a "normal" level but day-by-day I grew stronger. I cried less. I allowed myself to live again. If I allow myself to go there now I can still be brought to tears remembering the pain & the overwhelming sense of loss. The only thing that really helped me was prayer. I asked God to please help me endure through that time. I asked for His peace that passes all understanding. I asked for hope for a new future. He has been faithful to grant all of those things to me. I also found strength & comfort in my friends & tried to focus on my child & his well-being. You will get through this. The pain will dull in time. If there's ANY way to make it work, especially if you have kids involved, I would HIGHLY recommend that. You are in my prayers.

EDIT: With no children it should make the divorce a cleaner cut. That's good in a way because you don't have eternal ties to him as I do my ex. You don't HAVE to see each other or even talk to each other unless you want to. That, of course, doesn't make the pain any less.

Answer 3

I am going through a seperation right now. I have been married 2 1/2 years and he cheated on me a lot threw that time with his ex gf (mother of his daughter) and with one other girl. I took him back 6 times because I loved him so much and we had a kid. This last time he told me he had changed and was honest about everything and said he wanted our family to work. I told him this was his last chance. He left a few days later. I thought about it and realized I am better of without him and so is my son. It does get better it just takes time. I actually got over him and moved on and then he came back that last time so it made it hard again. But honestly I am doing good. Yeah it hurts sometimes when I think he wants to be with her but I then think I have my son. (I don't know if you guys have kids) and I have a lot of friends and family who love me. Also there is someone out there who I will find and you will find and we will be happy again. I know it hurts now but you have to think you will be happy again and you will find someone. I decided that I needed to worry about me and get my life in order and not about him or if we will ever be. Everything happens for a reason and what does not kill us only makes us stronger. If it was meant to be you will find your way back if not then there is a reason it happen. You learn from your mistakes and it makes you a better person. I have learned a lot threw my divorce. So when you do meet that next person realize what made your last relationship go bad and try and not do the same. But I promise you it does get better. I am only 24 and I just think I have my whole life ahead of me and I don't know how old you are but now days it seems like everyone is getting divorced and remarried. Good Luck and I hope things look up for you.

Answer 4

Have not gone through divorce but have been through some rough times. What got me through was to try to find a "bigger purpose in life ( ie volunteer,..etc.). Throw yourself into a hobby, workout daily, and get a pet. Try meditation, yoga and spirtual healing . YOU will get through , it takes time. Keep your routine and try to socialize more with friends/family.

Answer 5

I'm still not over mine. It seems like it will never stop. I know it will though. Being bitter will eat a hole inside of you. Just work on forgiving. Let go and let god. Find yourself. Be yourself and find someone else. It really does piss them off to see you happy. It does feel kinda good to know that.

Answer 6

When I was separated from my wife, I socialized my butt off. Made dates with friends and family. I kept myself busy so I wouldn't dwell or beat myself up.
Over time I became a strong individual and I learned that I didn't need my wife and that I was able to stand on my know. I had known that before, but I didn't understand it.

Answer 7

all you needed most now is family members and friends

you need support in all aspect, set yourself a new routine.

meet up with friends who can support you.. . .

remember this is not the end of the world.

but careful with the next relationship for now

Answer 8

going through a rough bitter divorce also just remember the BAD and MEAN things he has done to you and be happy ( that really pisses them off to see you happy

Answer 9

Time is really all that helped me. And getting some strange--seriously!

Answer 10

just fill your time with new things, and things you want to do with your life, its time to find yourself again. so have fun with it