I have the worst friends...Is it me?

Question

I've had a hard time coming to terms as to the "real" reason of me not being able to maintain certain freindships with people I grew up with.For instance, I had this one childhood freind I grew up with, and I always went to her little events she would have, and I notice that when I went to her birthday get together last year she didn't really talk to me, but I notice this was after she found out that I had finally left an abusive boyfriend and she stopped talking to me altogether,(which was weird) then I got in contact with some of my other friends I went to high school (whom are sister) one of the sister's I guess doesn't care for me too much she laughs at me everytime I say something, and I spilled something on my shirt and she laughed I treated her to dinner for her birthday, and she asked me "What do you do all day eat? and sent her a text message to say hello and she ignored me and then I notice everytime we go out her sister, puts out her hand a gesture to give her money" is i

I always question if I'm the person to blame...what can I do to change the people around me..because my self esteem is abd because of it..why do my friends treat me this way?

Answer 1

Honey, because they are not your friends. They are not anybody's friends. They are users. Quit calling them. Quit going out with them. Quit visiting them. You may have to go places alone for a while, but that can be a good thing. That way, you can meet new people and start real friendships. Believe me, people like your old "friends" radiate their selfish and sorry behavior, and no one else will reach out to you while you are in their company. Oh, and when you go out, do not go somewhere you are likely to run into them. They will be calling you...people like that need people they can run all over to make them feel good....don't give in and run with them.

Answer 2

I am sorry to say this, but the sister, is NOT your friend. I'm not sure how old you are, but the sister sounds really inmature and like a user. I would just not even try with her, just be civil. As for your friend and the party, and her ignoring you after she found out you had left an abusive relationship. That right there could have been what caused the distance. A very close friend to me, knew I was in a abusive relationship and did me the same way. My point is, true friends, don't like to see their friends hurt. Especially when THEY feel like we have a choice. Her inviting you to her party was a way to tell you she is still your friend, but maybe you have just grown apart. I would assume since you were in an abusive relationship that he probably didn't like you having friends at all and was controlling. Your friend may feel like you "dumped" her for him. I am just assuming this based on past events in my life. If your self esteem is low, and being around these 'friends' makes you feel worse...find a new set of friends. Open yourself up more to people who share your same interests now. Growing up, sometimes you just grow apart. I have several highschool friends that I talk to maybe once a year or when a baby is being born or when there is a wedding, birthday, or something of sorts. Just work on yourself esteem and feeling better about yourself and not worrying about your friends so much. Try asking her to go eat or just a shopping venture and talk to her, see what she has to say, if you really need to know. But make it just the two of you. Excercise is always a great way to help with making yourself feel better, physically and mentally. You will meet new friends, and keep some old. It's just life, and is perfectly normal.

Answer 3

No matter how people in your life are treating you, always remember this: YOU teach people how to treat you.

You have taught these women that what they are doing is just fine by you. After all, you not only go back for more, you reward them with a free meal in the process. From abusive boyfriends to greedy friends the common denominator seems to be Y-o-u. So, tell yourself when you wake up each morning that you'll only accept people who treat you at least as well as you'd treat them. Chant it all day if you have to. Once you believe it, you'll be surprised how the trash stays away and good people gravitate toward you.

Girl, you are worth more. But you won't get it until you decide to

Answer 4

Do not allow friends to treat you badly. A friend like that is not worth having. They sound simple and petty and I do not think it has anything to do with you beside the fact that you keep hanging with them. You know you are better than that. They don't have a clue what you have been through and it seems to me that they don't care. Find some new friends. No one has the right to judge you in the way these people are. Pick up your self esteem and walk away from them. They are not worth your time. Go Well and Be Strong.

Answer 5

As you get older, the friendships you had as children tend to change because people change and mature in different ways. It may be that in a few years from now, when everyone has "settled down" a bit, you'll be able to re-kindle those friendships -- I had a friend all through high school that I lost touch with when I was in college. She didn't go to college, and she and I didn't have a lot in common anymore, I didn't like the way her boyfriend treated her, she thought I was too uptight, etc.,etc. But 30 years later, we are re-establishing our friendship, because we have a lot more in common -- family, kids, etc.

Meanwhile, it's time to look for new friends, people that appreciate the person you've become.

Answer 6

Sometimes childhood friends are lifelong friends, but sometimes they change and go their own way so that you don't have anything in commom with them anymore. Sometimes YOU are the one who changes. It's nice to get together maybe once or twice a year, but not on a regular basis. You can't have the same relationship you did when you were childhood friends because you aren't the same people anymore. Your ideas change, your lifestyle changes, you mature and grow. You can't hold on to the past through your old friends. Let go and make NEW friends that know you now in the present, not the past.

Answer 7

Maybe it's not you, it's the friends. Surround yourself with some new people. Sometimes childhood friendships just drift apart. Also, if you were in an abusive relationship chances are that you didn't have much to do with your friends while you were with him so maybe they are just feeling like you deserted them. Just be yourself, and love yourself. People will love you too.

Answer 8

don't try to buy friendship because people will always take advantage of that. they are not being friends to you but it sounds like you are trying. don't be so hard on yourself. go out and maybe get a job around new people and don't talk about your past, just be friendly and make new friends. maybe go have coffee or something, get to know people and see what happens. your old friends need to get over it.

Answer 9

OK you need to satnd up for yourself if they treat you this way you got to know the reason why i mean ask them and the girl who laughs at you and asks for money kick her to the curb but first you ask her is she always this rude annoying and stupid you don't do that to people not to you at least if you didn't do anything just kick her butt lol but wait unitl she swings first then just lay her out on the ground and then walk away but don't turn your back keep your eyes on her at all times you never know if she is just going to get up and go after you so keep walking but keep your eyes on her just knock her out and walk don't keep pounding her face in you will get put i jail but that is not what you want

Answer 10

First of all, these are not 'TRUE" friends, they mock you because you are over weight. They are users! If you have low self esteem it will show and people like those you mentioned will take advantage of you. For your benefit accept who you are and feel good about yourself, and if necessary try to loose weight. It will be better for your health and your self esteem.