is it true that some men go through a phase in life where they wander what happened to themselves? wonder if they can get other girls? he cheated on me by talking to this other girl on the phone and it was a secret for a few weeks..they never met nothing like that. he said he is really sorry and changed his number and told her off and we sent her a dirty pic of us last night ..is this enough to show that he really wants me?
2007-09-18 04:13:08 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First off, sending the dirty picture was an overreaction sent in the wrong direction. The problem doesn't lie with the girl who received the dirty picture of you guys. It lies with him. But hey if it made you guys feel better then maybe it served a purpose. But doing that served only as a bandaid to a wound that needs more serious treatment.
The problem lies with your guy not the girl he was talking to. No one knows for sure why he was driven to talk to some other woman on the phone. Maybe it was a life-phase, maybe not, and most-likely not. He may want to be with other women, but don't let him convince you it's just a life-phase. I'm sure you are more valuable than that, and instead of him reflecting on what could have been with other women, wouldn't it be nice if he was instead reflecting on how lucky he is to have you. Don't buy in to his B.S.
Sounds like he kept a secret from you for a few weeks, that's the same as lying. So he lied to you. It sounds like he's real sorry he got caught, not that he did it. Otherwise, his regret would have prevented him from keeping it a secret for so long. It sounds like he wanted his cake and to eat it too. Only after getting caught, he really wanted to make sure not to lose his cake (you), thus feeding you a dramatic tale of how he's real, real sorry. Then stitching it in by overreacting: changing his number! Sending her dirty pictures!
Wouldn't changing your number over one indiscretion seem strange to you... having to redistribute your new number to all of your existing contacts, etc. Wouldn't it have been easier for him to tell her he wanted to stop talking? Yes! But it wouldn't have been as convincing to you.
Tell him that if he was driven to do this by wondering what happened to himself, tell him he's going to be really wondering what happened to himself after you dump him for lying & cheating.
Good luck.
2007-09-18 04:42:18 · answer #1 · answered by blujello 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me that sounds like a whole lot of immaturity. You and your "man" seriously need to grow up.
Why the hell would sending a dirty picture show that other woman that your man only wants you? It really doesn't prove anything except for the fact that you both are immature and she is way better off without him.
Sorry but i don't really see, talking to another woman on the phone as cheating. Maybe cheating emotionally but seeing how y'all are young i find it difficult to believe you even know what that is.
Your man had no right to tell this other woman off, he is the one who put himself in that predicament, the woman did not make him.
I'm sorry to say but you and your man's relationship is a heart break waiting to happen, i see nothing good coming out of it, it is already starting to go down hill, just wait til it hits bottom. It sure is going to be ugly:)
well good luck anyways.
2007-09-18 04:36:53 · answer #2 · answered by Kasja 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey baby girl ! i am a 45 yr. old male who has been with more wemon than most rock star's. being that said i have come to know alot about the opposite sex. your boy is young and so are you. alot of women like the challange of trying to get a man that is already got. soon after the get him the challange is gone and so is the fling. you know what other women can do cause you are one. keep that in mind and you will keep you mind. i highly suggest you read "surviving an affair" it a great book. dont mind the title , the book itself sheds alot of truth in being in a realationship. everyone your age should read this book it will help you and give you wisdom far above your junior. last thing ,you sending a dirty pic is you way of playing what i call the little girl game's. try to stay out of that crap you and only you are what matter's. at your age love will come and love will go just make the best of it. remember you are the only one that control's your destiny, don't let silly love games get in the way of that. try to find a spirtial bond with you'r love. in the looking for that you may be lucky enough to find your true soulmate. good love to you
2007-09-18 04:55:53 · answer #3 · answered by ath 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes when men get older, something inside make them wonder if they still got it. That's why some men look for female friends, sometimes it doesn't amount to anything. But women can pay part on fighting that feeling. By showing him that he is still wanted. I know through experience that what pushes us more toward looking for another woman is the lack of affection and intimacy. As women do, men also need to know they are wanted. And unfortunately in fifty percent of marriages that's the biggest problem, that some how one of the two feels neglected. I wouldn't try to show that girl that he wants you. The important thing here is that both of you feel wanted.
2007-09-18 05:19:55 · answer #4 · answered by Ricardo R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some men go through a Mid Life Crisis....Your guy wasn't cheating unless the content of the conversation was sexual and they shared their feelings for one another.....you sent a dirty pic to this girl? Now that is real mature! What are you 14?? Doubtful that he really wants only you.....
2007-09-18 04:21:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
We'd have to see the picture so we can make a better assessment of its impact.
Oh, sorry. Back to your question. No it's not a phase. He'll be like this for the rest of his life. He will continue to see girls on the side and cheat on you - like it or not, that's what he was doing. Cheating isn't just screwing someone. It's betraying trust, lying, hiding other women and the signs of other women from your wife, looking her in the eye and saying 'it's all fine' when it isn't.
2007-09-18 04:21:25 · answer #6 · answered by filthy_crumb 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I dont mean to be harsh, but you dont really sound like you are in love. You sound like you have to beg for his attention using your sexuality, otherwise he will chase whatever girl he can find.
And after you have been humiliated because he cheated on you, you send this girl whom he "has not met" (yeah right!) a dirty picture of you guys to prove that he will bang anyone he can get his hands on? Good for you....If you think that is what makes a lasting love-filled relationship, you deserve eachother.
You are going to go through a lot of hurt if you dont stand up for yourself and demand him to uphold your dignity. If you are dating - dump him. If you are married- go to marriage counseling.
Again, Im not saying this to be mean, just telling you the truth
2007-09-18 04:25:43 · answer #7 · answered by Marie Catherine 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm no expert, but i do believe that men as well as women go through phases in their lives in many ways. Many things can make people not content, be it relationships, career, location, lifestyle etc... i myself am looking into a new career and that has affected my relationship(s). just remember- ultimately you alone can not be responsible for your boyfriends happiness... if he's a shady guy and he wants other women that's what he'll go for. You need to decide if you really want him the way he is...
2007-09-18 04:23:55 · answer #8 · answered by G. 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, but if it makes you feel good then it worked.
Everyone who gets older wonders what if. It's not just men, women also wonder if they still got it. If you haven't you will just get older. As for sending her a picture, it could get her off, or make her want him more. You know some women only want a man who's already taken, so good luck and I hope things work out for you.
2007-09-18 04:25:19 · answer #9 · answered by harold 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sure its a very tempting world, anyone of us can derail. The strongest of us go through the what if phase.... If he confessed and you have forgiven him and willing to work on your relationship then take every day as it comes to you. Try not to judge each others present actions because of the past. Just live life and have fun with eachother.
2007-09-18 04:19:00 · answer #10 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋