I had to walk away frm her because she was such a drain on me even as a friend but I know she needs me, though she is so out of control I fear her mothers death will push her over the edge but I dont want to push myself over in the process. What are safe boundaries or should I just not be there at all? Thanks
2007-09-18 03:25:47 · 6 answers · asked by rubygarnetglow 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She's your ex. You need to move on, Buddy.
2007-09-18 03:54:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are divorced. The only obligation you have to her is what was in your divorce decree and that is it. You need to be able to move on and this is an emotional tie that will keep you around. It is not fair to you. This doesn't mean you shouldn't care about her as a human being, so the most I would do, is call a relative or friend of hers and tell them what is going on and that you wanted to make them aware, because you are not able to be involved again. That is the most that I would do. It is a tough situation, so I wish you the best with it.
2007-09-18 12:30:23 · answer #2 · answered by 2008girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom got notice that she would die within a few months. I had to take care of her during this period 'cause she was bedridden.
My big sister said she had to "do what she could live with". It was great. Looking back six months from now, what can you live with? Will you be able to live with having walked away from her?
Sometimes, people who need help must hit a hard enough bottom. If you help her, are you keeping her from hitting a sufficient bottom?
2007-09-18 17:46:23 · answer #3 · answered by Secret Agent of God (BWR) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you want to be there for her or you wouldn't be asking us, & that's okay. Keep her at an arm's length in this situation. If you got along with your ex's mom, stop by to see her, then leave. That way, you've done your part & if you feel good about doing that, then so be it. She's your ex & you know why, so she needs to be responsible for her own actions. It can be hard to sit back & see what she's doing to herself but it's her choice. If she wanted to get better, she would have by now. You don't want to get caught up in that nasty cesspool again. Do what you feel in your heart you should do. If you can't make a decision, do nothing.
2007-09-18 11:19:44 · answer #4 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Death is a very difficult thing to go through alone. If you loved the woman at any point, then you should go through this with her.. Let her know that you will not allow her to use this as an excuse to drink.. who knows, this may be what she needs to start taking the straight and narrow.. Help her if you can.
2007-09-18 11:06:15 · answer #5 · answered by nikki f 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you have have feelings for her you should try to be there for her in a friend capacity. If you already know what your dealing with then you should know how to handle her and should have some idea of what kind of boundaries you should have. If it begins to take a toll on you then simply let her know that you wish you could be there for her but it's too difficult for you to do. I think you might would regret not being there for her.
2007-09-18 11:02:08 · answer #6 · answered by blickyjunk 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋