My ex girlfriend cheated on me and dumped me for another guy - even though I came back from another country to be with her and was living with her godparents. This happened in March but I feel really lost still, I miss her and I feel like I cannot trust anyone else for fear they may hurt me too (even friends I have known for years). I feel like my "mojo" is gone and I cannot seem to break out of my shell and meet a new girl. My confidence and trust seems to have taken a knock. I am starting to panic that I will never have a wife and kids - which is something I want to be at least working towards so much right now. I feel like I am getting old at 26 and I have noticed a lot of my friends are starting to get hitched. I think my parents want me to settle down too which is adding additional pressure. How do I ever get out of this rut? Should I leave England and go back to Canada? HELP
2007-09-18 03:23:08 · 14 answers · asked by Becker 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Get over with your ex-GF.
Move on with your life and start dating again but be sure there are no more emotional hang-ups from past relationship.
Don't be pressured to "settling down"... you're only 26 and still young. For men... it's good to settle down at around 35 plus when you're really mature and secure in all aspects of life.
Keep in mind that happiness comes from within so face your life with optimism and joy and fun and such positive aura will magnetize new chances in your life like meeting interesting ladies.
As for choices of country to live, that shall be your choice depending where your job, happiness and "home" is. Meaning "home is where the heart is."
good luck!
A.H.
2007-09-26 01:06:54 · answer #1 · answered by HOPES 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Someone cheating on you rips you apart and makes you feel as if you'll never be whole again (been there been done like that).
Sorry to be like this but you really need to speak to a professional. If after 6 months you are still feeling so raw and depressed you may need professional advice.
If I were you I would either
1) Go back to Canada and try and move on with your life or
2) If it's possible take a long holiday - get away from everyone you know and start fresh (is there a working holiday or similar you can do).
3)Try and rebuild your relationships with your friends. Right at the moment you need to start rebuilding trust in your old friends. Start small - coffee or a movie, dinner etc but try and avoid anything involving alcohol and therefore raw emotion.
4)Make some superficial friends. get to know some people over the net that you can chat to about how your feeling without the pressure of having to talk face to face.
2007-09-26 01:07:27 · answer #2 · answered by Lise Wisey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I am sorry. That is really rough. 26 is not old however and I can assure you that it is not too late to find love. I was 36 before I found the perfect relationship. I was married once at 21 and was definitely not ready for that. I had a baby the following year and was definitely not ready for that either. That marriage lasted all of 2 years. I took my son and left. Then I met someone else. I was skeptical of marriage so I just lived with him for 11 years. I had another child with him when I was 30. He decided that taking care of his family was not a priority. He wanted to party and steal and cheat on me. He finally went to jail. I had no self esteem left. I was beaten down. Then, out of the blue I met my husband that I am with now and forever I am sure. He built my self esteem back up and made me very happy. We have been together for 10 years and married for 5. Don't give up. You may want to go back to Canada just to put some distance between you and the ex. There is someone special for you I am sure! Hang in there.
2007-09-26 02:36:32 · answer #3 · answered by karaokediva1960 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aww man.. dont trip.. im 32 This will change your faith and approach in future relationships.. But the plus side is that you will reconize red flags in the future.. it takes a while to get over your bad relationship..
sorta like cutting your finger.. it hurts at first for some days even month while it heals.. but in the end. You learned from it's experience.
1. How not to get cut like that again
2. How to approach it safely
3.It may leave a scare or May Not
4. You have to move on cause you still have the rest of your life and you cant allow 1 occassion with a Bad cut stop you from opening Cans of Food figuratively speaking..
Now as for your parents.. Dont take this the wrong way but Screw em! You have to live for you and Do things when your ready or it will not be right.. Your only 26 and Most of us guys dont really settle down until 30 you have time.. Trust me.. establish yourself.. Didnt you say you was living with someone.. Women dont like that.. Get your self together as a self efficient male .. Women love a man that can take care of him self .. They feel safe with that sort of person.. You dont really get respect at 26 living with others... And that could be why she dumped you... In fact I know its one of the reasons.. So spend the next few years getting yourself together.. and remember When ever you move from one place to another its always a start over...
2007-09-24 05:28:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hell yes leave England. Canada is the best, and the girls seem to be much nicer ( I lived in Canada for 3 years). I never had a problem there hooking up. But if you're getting desperate to have a wife and kids, it will show, and women don't dig that desperation. You see all your friends hooking up left and right and having babies. I know what it's like, but don't worry man, your seed works til you're 50 at least and you have lots of years to bump into the right girl. Trying to relax a little is the BEST thing and you will do yourself and your future woman a favor with it.
2007-09-18 03:32:45 · answer #5 · answered by SamVS77 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it doesn't matter where u live.your still hurting and wil have trust problems now for quite a while. until u totally get over this which i know some people dont believe takes time some more than others.don't become a shut in. get out with friends or family whatever it takes i feel for u. i know what your going thru.it's not as much getting over the person it's getting over somone that did this when u treated them like gold. u ask yourself how? where r morals if theres any left. stay busy get on the internet or anything else u need to do to get your mind off of it.good luck
2007-09-25 18:27:02 · answer #6 · answered by spoodleroo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where feels like home to you? there is no point running away as you will still feel the same wherever you are.
Don't feel pressured into finding a new girl! You are still young! and its still quite recently you were hurt.
Try to work on your friendships, i'm sure you can trust them not to hurt you. Keep up appearances meeting up with them for drinks etc. It doesn't matter if they are gettin married etc. they should still make a point to include you and if you feel uncomfortable you should be able to say.
Finding a new girl you are comfortable with may take time so don't rush it. Socialising with your friends willhelp you meet new people :)
Good luck :)
2007-09-18 03:54:59 · answer #7 · answered by shiv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really hard to love someone and the trust issue is broken. In my situation, about 6 years ago, I had a bf that was bad for me but he didn't get along well with this guy I became strictly friends with. When my bf cheated on me and I caught him with another girl in bed, I was DEVASTATED I wanted to crawl into a hole and bury my head. So, not thinking I went to go see my friend(the guy my bf, doesn't like) and let's just say 5 minutes later I was pregnant. My friend and myself tried for many years to make it work and it just doesn't click. I myself am 26 and I see all my friends getting married and their happy and I one day want that too. So, it's taking me awhile to get over all of the drama and life- changing events, but when you think about moving on it can be scary. There are plenty of people out there who would love your company and would love to wake up in the morning to see you, so my advice would be to move at your own pace, as much as it hurts you got to let go and be open-minded to new opportunities. Try to do something new like take up a hobby or try achieve a goal for your self to get your mind off of this.
2007-09-26 02:45:37 · answer #8 · answered by taf3781 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your way too young to be stressing over this, this is something your going to have to take your time with your having trust issues now , the last thing you want to do is bring these issues to a new relationship if you feel your truly going to be a good faithful mate for someone someday then you have to know in your heart your getting the same in return I had to let my ex go once once and for all it was the hardest thing for me to do we were together for a long time it's only been a few mos. but I know I did the right thing everybody wants somebody but not taking time for yourself and getting over things does'nt make for a healthy new start.....
2007-09-26 00:01:15 · answer #9 · answered by famousamos075 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you should do what's best for you and if that's moving back to Canada to start fresh then I would do it! And about your Ex, as the saying goes if you Love that person let them go, if they come back to you, then it was meant to be! Obviously your Ex-girlfriend didn't realize what she had and now what she lost. What goes around comes around and one day she will get what's coming to her, and guarenteed she will be begging for you to take her back. About your friends and family pressuring you into getting married and a family, that will come when the time is RIGHT! Take your time, your still young and good things come to those who WAIT!
2007-09-21 17:33:34 · answer #10 · answered by kellyleemac 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋