I gave husband ultimatum - chose the dog or me!?

Question

Well, the dog started barking at 4:00 am even though she'd been out and hour earlier. Is this the way to start a morning? I have to get ready and get my kids ready for school (no, she's too little to take care of the dog). I called my husband and said, "That's it - you decide - it's me or the dog". No, I wasn't yelling, I was crying. I explained to him that this was when our lives were supposed to have less stress - not added stress from a dog. I work full time and bring home almost as much as he does. I pay 1/2 the mortgage. He just bought himself a mercedes even though he has another car. I come home from work and cook. I do most of the laundry. I make the beds every morning. He works and sometimes has lunch with friends, or goes to his mother's to eat/nap. He lets the dog out when he comes home. This is not a breed that should be left alone all day. So, I guess I will find out when I get home. I love my husband very much - but I cannot deal with the stress.

Just to clarify
1. I did not want a dog - my husband did. And he was adamant on how this dog should look - so there was little room for compromise.
2. I did not ask for a dog so I could add more things to do in the morning.
3. We've only had this dog for a few month
4. He refuses to pay for training and he won't groom it. I took it the be groomed this weekend (and paid) because she was a mess
5. This dog has been a bone of contention (no pun) practically since we got her
6. Everyone has stress in their lives - why add to it?
7. The kids are great and well brought up. You cannot compare a dog to a child.
8. I am a very hard worker and good mom with a primarily good relationship with hubby - wanted to mention about the car, just you don't think he's some saint with a mean animal hating wife. I don't hate animals. I love dogs but I can't attach myself to this one.

Answer 1

I'm trying to imagine how your kids are going to turn out if you can't train a dog.

Answer 2

I am not a dog person at all, too much work, to much time that I dont have.

But I don't think the dog is the main problem here. Maybe what you need to do is quite simple. Call your husband explain to him how stressed you are. It wasn't the dog specifically, it is just everything wearing you so very thin. You simply cannot take one more thing, you need help. Ask him nicely and politely if there is any way or anything he can do to take some pressure off of you. If he can't think of one thing, or is not willing to help, then you have a problem and might want to rethink the whole marriage thing.

By giving him an ultimatum, you backed him in a corner, no one wants to be backed into a corner, you threatened his manhood. Try to apologize for backing him in a corner, and just simply ask for help.

Answer 3

Here's how I would look at it. My dog is really my kid. He depends on me to feed him and nurture him and take care of him. Now if I got rid of him, the chances that he someone else would adopt him from the vet are low, since he's not a puppy anymore, this means he would likely be put to death, I could not allow an animal that I have cared for a large percentage of mylife to be put to death because he barked too loud one morning.
I would tell you I'm not getting rid of the dog but I love you so it sounds like you have a decision to make because, I'm simply not making one, one way or the other. What you decide to do is on you and I respect your decision either way.

Answer 4

Your problem is stress, not the dog. The dog is just another victim of your stress. You need to do something about the stress before you begin to take it out on your husband and children. Some people have lower stress tolerance than others. Hire extra help if at all possible.

Answer 5

Maybe it not the dog but your husband not doing more to help you.Marriage is a partnership with both working to meet the needs of the family.Talk to your husband and let him know how you feel,let him know you love him and you want his input on the dog,family and life.You sound like you need a brake from some of this,You may need a weekend with your husband or just you or you and girlfriend but work on your marriage,you and your husband are one flesh.

Answer 6

Poor Dog, if it wasn't the dog you'd find soemthing else to complain about. I'd be upset if I was at work at 4am and my wife called to complain about opening the door to let the dog out. Seems theres more to the problem then the dog, Stop makeing smoke screans get to the real issues and adress them head on.

Answer 7

Poor dog! You can do one of 2 things. You can find a good home for your dog or get another one to keep it company. Why was your dog out at 4 am anyway? Ours sleep in their kennels and then go out in the morning when we leave for work. After work they come in and spend the rest of the day with us. Sounds to me like you need to crate train your dog, or give it up.

Answer 8

I think there is more about this situation than just the dog. You need to talk things over without yelling or getting mad at one another. Also are you prepared if he says the dog? If not don't make such threats. I do believe though you are more angry becuase you don't get much help and he buys things or does things without talking them over first.

Answer 9

It's not just the dog, you need help around there period! It sounds like you feel he isn't pulling his weight around the house and only adds to your stress. Tell him to get the dog a good home and start maning up and help you. Good luck...

Answer 10

I'm sorry to hear this...

But I'm not a dog person and I'm on your side.

But I don't know what your husband says about this.

However I wish you luck and to find a solution for oyur problem.