Please Help Me...Self Confidence Problem?

Question

Do you think that if I can lose some weight and tone up I would feel more like wanting to get naked in front of my husband. When we first got married I was all about it but now that I have put on weight I am not as confident. I am 5'5" 150 lbs. I'm not totally fat but my thighs and stomach have some "pudge" on them. So do you think me toning up and losing about 20 lbs will help my sex life? By the way my husband loves to have sex with me it's just my self confidence in the way I look that is holding me back now!!

Answer 1

If you think that losing weight will help your self-confidence, then by all means go for it. You need to be comfortable in your own skin, regardless of what your husband says.

Here are a few tips:

1. You MUST exercise if you want to lose weight and keep it off, so do something every day, even if it’s just a 15-minute walk around the neighborhood. Don’t say you don’t have time for exercise; you have to MAKE time. Yes, it takes time and effort, but you’re worth it, right?

2. Walk as much as you want, but don’t do cardio for more than 40 minutes at a time. If you do, you risk burning muscle instead of fat.

3. If you do strength training, use light weights and do lots of repetitions. That’ll really help you “tone up.”

4. Your diet will make you or break you. You have probably learned bad eating habits over time (most people do). That’s not your fault, but now you have to deal with it. Make a commitment to yourself to unlearn those bad habits and re-learn better habits.

5. Eat breakfast every day within an hour of getting up. People who don’t are 450% more likely to be overweight.

6. Eat six small meals or snacks per day instead of three squares per day or one big meal per day. Your body expends energy digesting your food, so eating smaller portions more often keeps your metabolism running high because you’re constantly digesting food.

7. Avoid these as much as possible:

-- Trans fat (any type of partially or fully hydrogenated oil)
-- High fructose corn syrup (soft drinks are LOADED with it)
-- Fast food
-- Junk food
-- White sugar, white flour, white rice, white potatoes
-- The deadly C’s (cookies, cakes, candy, chips, cola)

8. Build your diet around these trim-body-friendly foods:

-- Nuts, any kind (almonds are best)
-- Beans/Legumes
-- Fresh vegetables (green is GREAT!!!)
-- Dairy products (as long as they’re low-fat or non-fat)
-- Eggs
-- Lean meats (fish and poultry top the list)
-- Olive oil
-- Whole grain breads/cereals/pasta
-- Fresh fruits (anything that ends in “berry” is a winner)
-- Tea (green tea or black pekoe tea)
-- Cold water or ice water (your body has to expend extra calories to heat it up)

9. Desserts and treats are the exception, not the rule. Having said that, however, (1) you can have a couple of pieces of chocolate every day – just don’t overdo, and (2) Allow yourself one “cheat meal” every week where you eat and drink whatever you want as long as you don’t gorge yourself. That’ll help keep you from feeling deprived and it’ll make it easier to stick with your new healthy eating plan.

Good luck!

Answer 2

I believe what "they" say is true. Women are never really satisfied. Maybe men aren't either. But when it comes to how we look, we're so caught up on being so perfect. You say you weigh 150, which really, is good... I am more than that myself. Not much, but more. When I first moved in with my boyfriend, I admit, I was a little uncomfortable....but the way he loves me....and treats me with such comfort and love, it made me forget about any self confidence issues I may have had. You have to love yourself in order to have a good relationship, sexual or emotional. Look in the mirror, find the good things about you rather than the bad things. Losing weight tends to make people feel better about themselves, as it is a sense of accomplishment. You will probably feel better about yourself, but losing too much may become a habit. Losing weight can be a serious addiction. Just be careful. Love yourself for who you are, and let your husband love you...all of you..inside and out...and you must do the same. good luck to you.

Answer 3

I was 140 before I got pregnant, gained 80 lbs and have only lost 45 of it since my son was born 3 1/2 months ago. I feel so miserable and disgusting right now and to think about getting naked in front of my man is horrifying! But, he jokes with me about it and I have found that making light of the situation, talking about my weight, how uncomfortable I feel and joking about it makes it not so bad. I actually can get out of the shower with the door open now, before I would cover with a towel before stepping out and always made sure I was alone. Guys really are better at accepting our bodies than we are. I would love to be your size and weight again, I'm 5'5" and weigh around 180, UGH! I want to cry everyday I try to get dressed and I'm very uncomfortable in my body but my man jokes about it with me and it sort of gets rid of the "giant elephant" in the room allowing me to enjoy our "personal time".

Answer 4

What ive found out to be true over the years is that most women even after losing the weight will nitpick themselves in the mirror and will still not want to be "seen" in the nude.

Most husbands would be fine seeing their wives in current state nude and be extremely turned on by it.

Answer 5

i just answered your last question too...seems we have a lot in common! im trying to lose about 30 or 40 lbs...and i cant even remember the last time i was naked in from of my husband. he doesnt care at all that im overweight i just dont feel comfortable with myself either. i think losing weight will definatly help to feel better about yourself. good luck, i hope you reach your goal!

Answer 6

Being active does make you feel better about your self. And you may just lose some wieght at the same time.