How can I go on?

Question

I'm 23 lost both of my parent to Cancer, I have low self-esteem, a possible cheating boyfriend, and every time something good happens, something worst comes along to spoil my day....I just wanna die. Help me please.

Answer 1

Draw from your inner self, the strength you must have to kick
this guy out of your life. Throw out the trash and start getting
out among alot of people to have some time with. It doesn't
have to be a bar, it can be any place where alot of people
gather. Even donating some time at a rec center for seniors
or even a care facility. A place where your time and energy
will be appreciated and valued. You're sure to find people
with lives in need that you can physically help. You have to
learn you are a valued person, even if you are not appreciated by your so called boyfriend. You have worth, and
you cannot afford to think otherwise. What would your parents
say or think if they were overseeing you, right this very minute? Who knows if they can observe us or not? Would you
want to see them disappointed by your being so depressed
and wanting to end your life. The life that they helped to bring
into this world? Shame on you. You are so young to allow this
depondancy to continue. You've got your whole life ahead, for
goodness sake. Why I'd give anything to be in my twenties
again. I'd have given the roads I took alot more thought before
I headed down them, making alot of mistakes along the way.
And right now, you are at a crossroad. So you need to eval-
uate, not destroy the life ahead. You are obviously needing a
change. So change you must. Get away from the old tried and
true and safe places you are bored with. Put your resume out
for a better paying job, or one with more interest. Get out on
weekends to appreciate the nature spots around you. Learn
what else is out there beyond the concrete and high rises.
Start taking hikes along forest trails and waterways. Just
doing something like that can clear your mind and soul and
it will revive your spirit, believe me. Take a good friend along,
and take a lunch to enjoy sitting on a log or rock and just
inhaling fresh air out of the city. A change of scenery can do
wonders and allows you to think about where you've been
and what you need to go in life. Speaking of that, the years
pass too darned quickly for all of us. And they will for you as
well. Now is the time to start thinking of how you want to fully
spend your life, and go about making it happen. And you wont
find it sticking in the pit you're obviously wallowing in. This is
the time to do some 'tough love' within yourself kiddo. There
are lots in this world who are homeless, friendless, and more
lifeless than you are at your age. Think of ways to help others,
and you will help yourself. Believe me there are plenty of
places who can use whatever time you can donate. Look into
charitys' and senior centers. They will want to grab hold of
you quick. I know you will rethink your situation once you have
the place to actually do some hard time thinking about it. In
the meantime, take out the garbage. And then go and splurge
on yourself for the day. Treat yourself to anything that will give
you a temporary uplift. Even if it's fattening LOL. It's time you
got out of the dumps and made the changes necessary. Now
just get out there, and do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

I am so sorry for your loss.
I lost my father at age 10 and my mother when I was 22 so I can relate.
You become a little paranoid after a while, I think.
When something positive happens, you're just waiting for the floor to fall out from under you, right?
You can get yourself past rotten boyfriend( there really are many fish in the sea as the saying goes)
You need a support system because most parents help with building up the positive. Don't make the mistake I did and look to a man to be your everything. That doesn't always work out and it can be devastating.
You are young, obviously smart and level headed.
Things will get better ( then not) then better again.
That's life and it sure can be fun!

Answer 3

Counseling and some places have support groups for families of people with cancer, I think even by the kind of cancer it was. I don't know if you really want an unstable relationship at this point when your esteem is calling for stability.

It is always a good day to die, but there is so much work to do in this world for each of us. Best we find out what it is and finish what we can, knowing our parents and others before did as much for us and our generation.

Answer 4

Wow. You've been having a rough time lately, hon.

But life is a "day-at-a-time" thing for all of us. And each day has within it, a measure of good and a measure of bad.

Instead of looking so intently at the hard stuff, start concentrating on the good things that are happening at the same time. You're probably overlooking those because you're in a lot of pain and turmoil.
It takes a long time to mourn the loss of parents and so some of what you're experiencing is fairly normal.

The other thing is that you need to address and take care of business with your boyfriend and clear the air about your suspicions. You could be wrong. If you're right though, you need to let him go so you can have a reasonable expectation of getting back on your feet emotionally. You can only deal with so much emotional stuff at a time.

See your doctor and talk to him about what you've just written here, he'll more than likely give you some mild tranquilizers to help calm you. Most doctors are really understanding about these times in life. And in fact, you could ask him for recommendations about someone you go talk to so you can get it all out of you. There's lots of free counseling in almost all communities. You just have to find out where they are.
You don't really want to die. You just want the pain to stop.

Best Wishes . . . .

Answer 5

First, get rid of your boyfriend. You don't need that right now. You need to take care of you. Second, bad things and good things happen to everyone. It's better to get in the habit of counting your blessings instead of mourning your losses. Concentrating on the bad things only makes them worse. Find a spiritual path and connect with it every day. Express your gratitude daily and soon, your problems will seem much smaller. Congratulate yourself on each accomplishment however small. Your self-esteem will gradually grow. Volunteer at a food bank or other local organization. Getting out of yourself is also very, very helpful. Be sure to eat right and exercise regularly. Dying isn't the answer. You'll be glad you stuck around in the years ahead. There are things you won't want to miss, I know. That's just the way life is. There are good things yet to come.

Answer 6

I really am sorry you lost your parents, I know that is hard, and then feeling like you can't trust your boyfriend is causing insecurities beyond that;
I am a child of God and I know what you are going through, believe me (been there) and I wish to help you ;
first of all you have to believe God has a plan for you and things will get better if you stick with living and give up the wish to die (I was like that for four years in deep depression) but God brought me through it one day at a time;
call on His Name -Jesus and ask Him to come into your life and take it over because you can't handle it and then walk with Him daily; you'll see after awhile that He is doing it and you will learn to love Him and He will help your self esteem by showing you your life counts for something wonderful;
I pray that you will let Him work it out with you and one day you will see how far you have come even without your boyfriend because Jesus is all you need, believe me;
be strong and believe and Jesus and I give you hope for a good future

Answer 7

Believe it or not, the answer is pretty simple. Of course, simple does not always equal easy, but anything worthwhile is worth effort.

I two lost both my parents to cancer when I was young. I was mad at God and mad at the world. Why would two very sweet and ver nice and good people be ripped out of this life and so many low-life evil people go on living? Depending on charity, I was beaten and abused.

BUT!!! I made it through. First, I knew my folks would want me to. Second, the rest of my life, that which is in front of me, was mine to manage. I made a conscience choice to enjoy life, to do good where I could, to laugh at jokes and enjoy nature. I decided that I would not let circumstances defeat me.

I admitted that I could not handle it on my own and I turned my life over to God. With God's help, I have lived a long and happy life. Even 40 years later, I still miss my mother and dad. But I have had children and grand-children to give me love and for me to love.

Now, even though I had a tough start, I can look back and say I have had a great life.

Hang in there, you are worth saving.

Answer 8

You have to create your own happiness. Surround yourself with things you love....friends, books, music, work. Volunteer to help people less fortunate in a shelter or hospital. Maybe a hospital that treats cancer patients, so you can help other families.Check into some support groups for grief counseling. They are usually listed in the paper when they meet and are free.You will survive. Look ahead. Don't look back. I have definitely been there and done that. My Dad died of cancer 25 years ago. I was devasted. My Mom took her own life less than 3 years later. I have no children because my brother molested me as a child and caused complications on ever getting pregnant.Twenty three years old? You have the rest of your life ahead of you. Make your parents proud that you are their daughter. You can do it! I did.

Answer 9

If we begin to take and accept hardships and problems as challenges and therefore,sources of opportunities ,then very soon such happenings change shape and become benign.Also remember that change being a law of nature,it's high time that things shall begin to turn better and better for you.A winner is the one who holds on to for a little longer than others.It's going to be beginning of a new threshold for you.All the best.

Answer 10

Girl, welcome to the YA site that welcomes broken
hearts with outstretched arms. These people know that sorrow is the fate of all men and in the heart of it we're refined and strengthened. There truly is s season for joy and sadness, victory and defeat, health and sickness, etc.
Everyone has told you valuable things and while you're in the storm , put one foot in front of the other and pray before you know it the light will start shining thru again. You're not alone.