My partner and I have been together for 12 years and have two children aged 6 and 4. The youngest one has a disability and since she was born I have had a yearning for another baby that will not go away. I havent been able to do anything about until now as I couldnt have managed with a new born before my youngest was at school but now she is I am desparate to have another one - cant explain it, it is like i need the baby I thought I was having, although I wouldnt change my little girl for the world and have an unbelieveable bond with her. My partner (he's 35 and i'm 30) says he's too old and doesnt want to work forever so would like me to get back out to full time work as soon as possible, I am heartbroken and really dont know what to do.
2007-09-18 01:41:18 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Just to clarify, I do work already and am at college gaining qualifications which will mean I earn more than at present. I am on track to do a teaching degree but it will be another 4 years until I qualify by which time the baby would be going to school which is why I feel now would be the perfect time. I have never not worked, I ran my own mortgage advisory business before the girls were born and have qualified as nursery nurse after I had them.
2007-09-18 02:39:16 · update #1
That is a decision that the two of you have to reach together. You may need the assistance of a counselor or mediator.
2007-09-18 01:46:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are the best person to answer this question,why should you keep on hurting yourself like this you know want a baby so much it hurts but you let it break you down , i suggest that you talk to your husband about it,find a good time when he is not busy and is in a good mood and you pour your heart out if he is an understanding and loving husband he will listen to your problem then you can both decide what to do. Remember babies need all the love and support so be sure that you are financially stable to provide for your new baby ,maybe the yearning is also due to the fact that your youngest baby has a dissability and you want to make up for that which i think is wrong ,children are wonderful gifts from God and we have to love,support and accept them as they are.Search within yourself deeply to see if that is the case or not and don't forget to talk to your husband.
2007-09-18 01:59:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel , I have 2 boys and since the birth of the youngest one 4 years ago I have wanted another child, my other half was exactly the same he was addiment that we werent going to have any more it caused no end of arguements. Iam now pregnant again , only by accident tho, it was hard at first because my other half found it very hard to accept and I felt like i was doing it all on my own, Thankfully he has come round to it now ..... just in time Ive got 9 wks to go! This will be my last tho i know that my body couldnt cope with any more after this one!
2007-09-18 10:04:59 · answer #3 · answered by gert 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could always child mind in your own home instead of going out to work. That way you would be able to have another baby and earn a wage. You can also take on an assistant childminder to help with you for a couple of hours when your daughter gets back from school. Just a thought! Good luck.
2007-09-18 01:51:13 · answer #4 · answered by lilmissdisorganised 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean!
I had two children and one of each a perfect family, but always yearned for a third child.
We decided to try and see what happened deciding what will be will be, and got pregnant straight away.
We now have a second daughter who has made our world complete and that yearning feeling has gone away!
Financially, I see where your partner is coming from, as the man and bread winner he feels under pressure to earn enough, but as you point out the timing is right for you now!
I would dhave to say go for it, you only get one life and you are obviously brilliant parents!
2007-09-18 08:08:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you husband doesnt want another baby you have to respect that. You have two children already, just be greatful to have them at all. I know how it feels to want a baby so much, but sometimes its not always the right choice at that particular time. One day if your husband changes his mind or comes round to it, then your wish may come true. Otherwise just make the most of having your two children, as some of us would love to be that lucky. If its meant to be it will, just be patient and wait and see what life brings you in the future.
2007-09-18 02:03:20 · answer #6 · answered by * Mummy to 2 Girls * 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have the most ideal life, a husband and 2 adorable I'm sure daughters.Think about those women that can never have children- is your desire as heartfelt as that? I know I am probably out of order saying this but I think you should concerntrate on getting yourself back into work and not panicking about making ends meat if you have another child.
You said it yourself that your hubby doesn't want to work forever so does,'nt he get a say in this? if he doesn't want and you do you will need to sit down and have a serious conversation about it. You will not back him into a corner over this-he sounds pretty certain to me. Enjoy what you have -why not donate your eggs to a fertility clinic to help others have children?
its something worth while
2007-09-18 01:49:07 · answer #7 · answered by Scatty 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The decision is for you and your husband both to make. My opinion would be go back to work to help him out for a little while but don't let go of the idea. Continue to bring it up to him and let him know how bad you want it, but don't nag about it constantly because that will just cause problems between you two. He may come around. If not, just be happy you have the two that you have and don't obsess over another one. Just be the best mom to them that you can.
2007-09-18 01:53:55 · answer #8 · answered by Chelley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be happy you have 2. See if you can take time and have a third maybe after 2 or 3 years. I am 27 and still single and waiting to have a baby after im married but you have 2 so be satisfied and thank God for the gifts you have the little babies.
2007-09-18 01:45:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
sadly all the pressures been on him to be the one who works all hours just to provide for you all. But you have to remember to give your 2 daughters the life you want and that would be one where you both have money to provide for them and give them both a good start in life. A 3rd could lead to financial difficulties. it could be he is feeling that his family is big enough and would like to spend less time working and more with your family. To be equal partners. Talk about what you both want. Maybe when you have a job you could go on maternity leave and have one later in life.
2007-09-18 01:52:48 · answer #10 · answered by a beautiful lie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋