My son is 7 months old...i moved from georgia to florida when he was 3 months, I had to leave due to domestic violence...I never called the cops, just left and went to a shelter...now we have to go to court 9/27...the father is wanting temporary and full custody of him....Im a great mother, have my own place now, have a great job, and in no way I am not an unfit mother...i am everything but that...but im worried he will get custody....
2007-09-18 01:34:20 · 18 answers · asked by Amanda 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Is the case being tried in GA? If it is you have nothing to worry about. As long as he can NOT prove that you do drugs or endanger the child. If you do or have done drugs, come clean and apologize to the judge. Tell him that you know you've made a mistake and ARE correcting it. The worst case scenario with this is that you might have to have joint legal custody.
BTW - you didn't need to have consent to take your son out of state unless there was a court order already in place and you voilated it.
It came out in my divorce that I was seeing someone and he had been around the children. The outcome of that was like this. I got full physical custody and joint legal (in case he had to take the children to the doctor and I wasn't able to be present). I did however get a mutual smack on the wrist so, my ex nor I can have ANYONE that we are romantically linked to around the children unless we are married to them. Since my divorce took so long because of my ex the judge didn't scold me as bad as what he could have.
The best way to go into the courtroom is with a positive attitude and see yourself get full physical custody. Try not to cry in the courtroom, judges don't like that. When asked any questions look at the judge while answering not at the person who is asking the question. Just know in your mind that you will have your child. No judge will take an infant from their mother unless there is something that cannot be corrected.
2007-09-19 04:55:12 · answer #1 · answered by irisheyeslas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have called the cops. Police reports are a great way to establish a documented record of a problem. I can't speak for the legal system, but it seems to me that judges will rarely take children from their mother and award them to the father. It would have to be proven that you were unfit. Involvement with drugs, crime, prostitution and the like are a sure bet to lose your kids. The courts operate on facts, not on the "He said" and the "She saids." The main concern for the courts in your case is what's best for your son... most likely that will mean you. I cannot imagine a judge taking a 7 month old baby from a mother and giving him to the father unless you have some serious issues. If things truly are they way you say, then you most likely you don't have anything to worry about. Hopefully you have a lawyer, and you are receiving good legal counsel.
2007-09-18 09:00:02 · answer #2 · answered by mt75689 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you are fit then you shouldn't have any problems retaining full custody. However, I would have character references written, statements from anyone who knew he abusive and a lawyer. The court system does not automatically give custody to the mother anymore. Especially in Georgia.
A few years ago, my husband physically took my children away from me at a supervised visit and then refused to let me see them. He kept putting off the court date and it was almost a year before I was able to see my children. I had temporary custody at the time but the law would not help me and said the only thing I could do was try to hold him in contempt of court and let the matter be decided at the final hearing. I would use everything you possibly can to make yourself look good and get a lawyer. Our court system isn't always fair. Hope all works out well for you.
2007-09-18 08:46:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure you let it be known in court of his abuse, bring witnesses, all the proof you can. The plus of this situation is that you are stable and you are his mother, the mother almost always gets custody. The negative point is that you left the state without other parental consent. No one can really tell you what the verdict will be but the judge. Just make sure you get all of the information together and hopefully the judge will see that the father is abusive and grant you custody.
2007-09-18 08:43:42 · answer #4 · answered by Chelley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you could do is find any photo's you have as evidence of the violence or statements from witnesses.
Get some legal advice on this one but the court will act on what is in the childs best interest, not who the better parent is.
Don't think that this will be an time for any of you, but remember that the court process works in the childrens interests, and at the end of the day, that's what all parents really want put first.
All the best.
2007-09-18 09:07:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, rarely do the judges take the child away from the mother unless the father can prove that you are an unfit mother. Bring anything you can in with you when you go to court, bills, your current salary, pictures of the area you live in, etc. Also, I would bring up to the judge even though you didn't file a police report the domestic violence. Tell him, that you did what you needed to do, you got out and went someplace with your child that would provide you a safe place to stay until you got onto your feet, and you did just that! Bring in relatives and friends to tell the judge how good of a mother you are. Good luck honey!
2007-09-18 08:51:16 · answer #6 · answered by Torey♥ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Unless he can prove that you are a unfit mother,in most cases the judge gives full custody to the mother-However the father still has rights to see him-maybe once a week and supervised.
2007-09-18 08:41:20 · answer #7 · answered by sharon19833 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only thing that looks bad is your leaving to another state. But since you did go to a shelter, I would make sure you have proof of that. It shows you were desperate to leave, so your abuse allegations may carry more weight. Chances are, you will get custody. Not only because of the abuse allegations, but also your child is still an infant and you are a stable parent. They don't usually take infants away from mothers unless they have to.
2007-09-18 08:40:14 · answer #8 · answered by ♦justme♦ 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
take all paper work from the shelter and make sure the judge knows that you left in fear for your life and the abuse you suffered at the hands of this man . take someone (one of the counselors) from the shelter . I dont think once the judge hears that you left because of domestic violence that he would even entertain the thought of full custody or even temp custody to this man . good for you though getting away from this man .
2007-09-18 08:44:16 · answer #9 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most domestic violence shelter have advocates that will go to court with you. Even if you are out on your own now and doing well they are always there to help. I'd give them a call and having someone at your side will help and they will help explain the circumstances as to why you had to flee. Good Luck!!!
2007-09-18 08:43:49 · answer #10 · answered by misslepew 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋