He wasn't happy with his wife. We love each other so much and had beautiful plans for our future. When i already get pregnant, he said he underestimated his feelings about his kids and wanted to start again new life-to follow God's Commandment and love the wife out of fear of God's punishment and to avoid the sin of adultery but still be a responsible father to my baby. I understand and respect his choice but it's so hard for me, being alone in my pregnancy period, with all the hardships and discomforts i feel, the emotional stress, prejudices, the worries I've caused to my family, pressures at work, sleepness nights-of crying and worrying about the future of my baby, the hospital fee when i give birth, and all the expenses for the baby, the plans of moving to other place coz people and friends have no idea that my bf is married guy, what would my baby feels when he grow up without a father on his side, when she sees other kids being held and carried by their fathers.. it's so painful!
2007-09-17 23:44:15 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
One parent can be as loving as having two. Alot f kids will have one parent and it isnt a huge deal. People will say bad things no matter what the turn out becuase that is just life. You can look into getting help with the bills, and finacal part untill you are fincailly stable. It doesnt mean you are a bad person if you apply for help. Plus file for support once the baby comes, not to be mean or pay back but for your baby. You may one day meet someone who can be a father to your baby. You can't worry about the what ifs in life becuase you wont get anywhere that way focus on the future and how you are going to be the best Mom that you can be with what you got. Remember you put yourself in this situation and you can be the only one to make it better.
2007-09-19 04:28:02 · answer #1 · answered by bigjuggies79 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you this is the a choice you made when you chose to sleep with a MARRIED man and have unprotected sex with him. what about how his wife and his kids are going to feel about you and this baby. you have made a mess out of some mess. this is a no win situation. this man is not leaving his wife for you and the baby, he may support the child financially if you take him to court. but the person that will suffer the most is the baby becuz they will grow up wanting a father like the other kids, and seeking the acceptance from society because of the lack of the relationship between a father and child. this man played you but you entered into the game and got played royally. at this point you have to make the best of the situation. am sure that you find that your future husband will take care of the child as if it is his own. but until than you will be mother, father,sister, brother, etc. dont hide the truth from your family be truthful to all about the situation becuz you will need their assistance to raise this child. GodBless
2007-09-17 23:55:33 · answer #2 · answered by Crystal G 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is not the end of the world. Move on and stay away from him.
One mistake is enough. If you can't handle having the child consider putting the child for an adoption, so that the child has both mother and father. Think what's best for the child. The child will look for you later especially if the finds out that you're doing it for his best. Don't be fooled by a married man who says he loves you because if he truly loves you he won't touch you or have sex with you. He is a selfish no good man.
2007-09-18 00:11:29 · answer #3 · answered by Sofia Cruise 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your situation however it was a very poor choice to have sex with another persons husband. That being sad you need to see a counslor. I think abortion might have been a better option then going it alone. If that's not a option look into adoption or be prepared to struggle as a single mom many women and men raise kids alone NO it's not the best way to be a family you have to decide if your gonna do it. If i were you i'ld rather go thru the heartbreak of adoption then to allow a child to just suffer with me.
2007-09-18 00:01:33 · answer #4 · answered by golly geesh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is dear but you know what? you learn a well lesson married man who mess around on their wife always say the same thing they are not happy with their wives, that is their international MO this is how they get away with having two women in their lives, so you know what quit crying and feeling sorry for your self and your baby, the child will have you, what you could do is as soon as the child is here put that sorry daddy on child support and make aware to his wife that her children have a new sibling do not let your child be invisible to none of them specially his daddy, you take the child around them you ask for support and don't take his money unless is coming from the courts.. That would show him to be confuse about his feelings after he made a baby all of the sudden he has a moral strike bullshittt fuckk him up put him on child support... raise your baby proud and give him lots of love..good luck.
2007-09-18 00:30:15 · answer #5 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first i would tell him all doctor bills and hspital cost is his and make him go and sign papers at the hospital or even at a lawyers to make him pay. then enjoy being pregnant even if your alone. its a beautiful thing and the joys of the baby moving. you dont need to move ,just tell your friends and family that you two are not together and youwont tell them who it is. after the baby is born ,get support money from him. just because he has choose to stay with his wife doesnt let hm off the hook. hes going to have to tell his wife all this or the lawyer papers will. believe me you deserve that much. you will also find a decent man in the future to love you and your baby. there is a good man to be a great father for him.
2007-09-18 00:09:58 · answer #6 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This man has a legal obligation to you and your child. You should hold him to it as it sounds as if he has done this sort of thing before. He knows just what to say to make you not want to tell his wife that their children have a step brother or sister. Keeps him safe at home and not found out so he can find a new girl to impregnate.
Find a lawyer and serve him with papers to have him pay some of the medical costs and child support from birth to 18 or when the child finishes High School (whichever is later).
2007-09-18 01:25:46 · answer #7 · answered by oldsoftee2001 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you committed a biggest mistake when you fell for him - most of the married-men (I am a man) 'trap' innocent-girls, like you, by telling them their sob-story ("He wasn't happy with his wife", you mentioned)..
But, now, since the deed has been done and you are carrying his baby - I am saying "his" as a form of a context; but remember it is yours, too! - you will have to pay for this by not going for an abortion, but giving birth to the child and 'charging' a claim on it from the father - by not blackmailing him; but by openly 'confessing' and charging him in front of his wife about him being the father of-the-child!
Never mind, if you cause an uproar among your friends - if they are not with you in time of your need, thenm they are not your true friends - and your family.
And when your baby grows up, tie your hands with another single man and make him understand that "Your father is missing soon after action".
But, believe me, this is the only solution to your problem; I can't think of anything else.
2007-09-18 00:14:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First go get medicad, you qualify for assistance from the govt. Second, several kids grow up fine without a father in their home, a little less secure, but for the most part okay. You probably should of been more careful especially since he is married, but I blame him. If he loved you then he would be with you. God is already punishing him and you for the situation, its now time for him to make it right. His wife probably has no idea either, if she did she wouldnt want him. He should be honest with her and let her decide whether to keep him or not, do you think he would be with you then? I dont know, but you should really look deeply into your relationship and see if you were being naive to think he was ever leaving or just stringing you along. Be strong.
2007-09-17 23:53:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I lived thru this personally from experience as a married man who has had his lover affair girlfriend pregnant I hate to say this but really think this thru this is nit just a moral ?? but also a personal and financial ?? lets face it married men very very rarely leave their wives or families but if you go thru the pregnancy remember this old saying what goes around comes around dont curse yourself or unborn child with bad karma move on let it go and totally separete from this kind of behavior stop believing these lying cheating men about their so called sad marriages well i guess im saying in short abort and move on find yourself a single deattached man and start with that
2007-09-17 23:56:34 · answer #10 · answered by bigpoppa 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋