Thank you for your answer! :)
Have a wonderful day/night! :)
2007-09-17 22:47:59 · 25 answers · asked by Moon :) 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Oh, please! If it was that easy...
2007-09-17 22:55:25 · update #1
Polly - the same here...
2007-09-17 23:31:57 · update #2
shahrizat - Thank you so much for understanding!! My love to you and your family! :)
2007-09-18 00:47:53 · update #3
True friends and family would know;
and they would understand
They would be able to see the pain;
and they would empathize
They would see your sincerity;
and they would not mind
They would prefer honesty and forthrightness;
to any white lies
And if they truly are friends and family;
they would not take offense
Just be the sincere person that you are;
and always have been
Simply tell it as it is
and appreciate it, they will....
Much love goes your way, dear Moon:)
From one friend, to a beautiful another.
2007-09-18 00:15:20 · answer #1 · answered by shahrizat 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Usually when you have to say No, I think it hurts you just as much as it hurts the person hearing it. So it's really hard, but you've got to say it if it's necessary.
I think it's pointless to explain your reason because most of the time the reaction of the person will depend on the person's character.
If the person has a good relationship with you and is understanding. You will not need to explain and the person will understand and forgive you.
But, if a person is not an understanding person by nature, your explanations will only sound like excuses at that point of time. You can wait for this person to cool down before giving your explanation.
You may also like to offer them alternative solutions, so that they'll have another way out.
2007-09-17 22:57:48 · answer #2 · answered by hattybatty 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well as one who has just recently added the word NO to her vocabulary, it is hard to do it at first.
I have always been the one in the family that has been asked to do things that they don't have time to do. From walking my sisters dog while she works overtime, to taking care of my Dad 24 -7 when he had a heart attack, watching my siblings kids, running to the store for them, picking up dry cleaning, you get the picture.
One day I realized my stuff kept getting put on hold so I could run for them. About that time, I was diagnosed with ovarian Cancer and my life changed very rapidly. I couldn't do for them any more.
Long story short, I am now fine and decided, i want to do my life thing. So when they call, I just say no, I'm sorry but I have plans and can't. I feel no need to explain, or get into long discussion of why I can't. Some times you just have to say NO!
2007-09-17 23:03:08 · answer #3 · answered by ladyhawk8141 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi Moon,
I still haven't worked it out. The crazy thing is it hurts me too to say 'no' because I think I'm letting people down. So even when I try to be firm and say 'no, I've really got too much on already', I still tend to back down and agree to fit it in! Sometimes I have no choice but to say no outright as it's just impossible to say yes but to do it without feeling guilty: so far I've not found the way!
Polly
2007-09-17 23:27:14 · answer #4 · answered by pollyanna 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just say it kindly, explaining that whatever it is, you can't. Just being too tired is a good enough reason. If they truly love you they will understand, and not want to put more pressure on you. If they don't, and do - feel free to let them deal with their own self-centredness. It is not your problem. Self preservation (except in situations of dire urgency like someone drowning) is the first rule of life. Without that, after all, we're no good to anybody else. So there's a time for others - and time for yourself. As my Mum used to say "sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind - but whatever you do, be honest". Not that she always liked it when the good advice rebounded upon her and reduced her to tears - but our love for each other was strong enough to survive, and grow. Neither of us would have had it any other way.
2007-09-18 00:50:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing more like being honest with your thoughts. You may replace your "no" with some humble words which have less "hard tones" on them. Say it in a way that justifies your reasons for it. Don't hold back.
Saying "yes" when you mean "no" just to refrain from the thought of hurting other's feelings doesn't make the situation better. You lose the integrity for yourself as you become "unreal". You don't like that, do you?
2007-09-18 13:53:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Moon, pardon me for putting it so bluntly.
Just say NO !!,
Your family and friends should know you better than anyone else
and are well aware you are a caring , loving , helpful person.
And that should mean they should accept you wouldn't say
no to them unless you had a very good reason.
You deserve that much credit given, they shouldn't be hurt at all.
and if they are there is no reason for it to last more than a fleeting moment.
Have a nice day yourself !.
2007-09-18 00:28:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just surprise him with some kind of good things.I mean if you think this will be the best time to say than first very kind hearted do all things all kind of help you can rendered than send a sweet message and than what you want to say at end .Or simply just say them that you need to talk to them and with kind words tell them your problem and also why you are saying no,if they really understands you than they will really forgive and understand what you want to say exactly.Just do that what your heart tells you to do.
2007-09-17 23:06:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There must be a valid reason why you wanna say "No". Put the same reason across to family/friends as well!
They'll understand without getting hurt.
2007-09-17 23:03:50 · answer #9 · answered by freshlimesoda 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you have to be assertive...people (yes, even family) will take advantage of you if you let them.
if someone is asking you for a favor and you really don't want to do it don't. the more you assert your right to say no the easier it becomes.
i used to be like that...then i read a book on how to be assertive. i still help people. i still do favors for people, but i don't do things that i really don't want to do anymore.
just be honest and tell them that you really can't do whatever it is.
good luck and bright blessings.
2007-09-17 23:34:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋