My husband is very posessive, physically and verbally abusive and suffers inferiority complex because I have been financially stable than him even before marriage 10 years ago. We have been through hell and back as a result of that. He assaulted me 10 months ago and since then I have not had sex with him because I have lost the love and respect I had for him. Could he be having someone somewhere to take care of his emotions. Not that it worries me but I feel curious to know.
2007-09-17 21:38:56 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
what do you mean by assault? do you really believe that 2 people can be with each other for so long and never have violence to each other? dont believe propaganda and what the public makes you feel is what is right. i have been with my husband 3 years and yes we have had fights. the public makes you feel if you fight physically there is something wrong, this is why there are so many divorces-no one has a realistic view of what happens in the long term anymore. yeah if he beats you to no tomorrow there is problem, but a one time fight means nothing. maybe you are just insecure and dont know how to get over slights.
2007-09-17 21:49:57 · answer #1 · answered by bootleg 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
A man can go a long time without sex, but few of us chose to do so.
If your marriage is in such disarray as you describe, then why are you still married? If you are punishing him by denying him sex then are you making yourself or him any better or any happier?
Men have pride and if you are more successful than he is that will hurt his pride, but he should be glad for you, support you and love you. A marriage is a partnership after all.
Chances are pretty good that he has found an alternate to you by now, most men would. Especially if they feel the love has gone out of the marriage. But, a man doesn't shrivel up and blow away if he doesn't have sex. We just feel like that happens. You denying him sex is only making the situation worse.
You need to re-evaluate your marriage. Either give up on it or re-build it. What is your husband's opinion on that matter? Does he care, does he want to, do you even know?
You need to leave this board and go talk with him. Marriage is based on communication and the two of you are not communicating. It sounds like you don't care anymore with your line "Not that it worries me but I feel curious to know." If it did mean a matter of life or death would you care then? If meant permanent injury to him, would you care then? If it meant temporary harm would you care then? You have already passed one of those points; because you have hurt him.
If he has gone off to sex comfort in some other woman's arms then that's what has happened. I won't say you deserve it; you deserve the loving man you married. But, if you don't want that man, if he can't be that man, then you need to let him go.
Men do have a real physical need for sex. We are designed that way on purpose. The best survival tactic for a male is to breed with as many women, as quickly, and as frequently as possible. So sex is an important thing in our lives; evolution insures it. He can survive without sex, but you are only hurting him by denying it to him. Is it your goal to hurt him, if so then why are you still with him and not seeking your own comfort somewhere else?
Either seek marriage counseling or end the marriage. Otherwise you are only causing both of you pain and misery. You don't have to live you life like that unless, divorce isn't an option to you. If you can get divorced then the longer you put it off the more bitter you will insure it will be.
2007-09-18 04:55:13 · answer #2 · answered by Dan S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I must ask, Why are you staying in an abusive marriage?
I know the vow's say, for better or worse, in sickness and in health but it also says in the Bible, that a man shall marry a woman and become one.
You are not a personal punching bag or a verbal soundboard that he can bounce off mean and vulgar things to you.
You are his wife.
Fights are part of a marriage, but when it crosses the line like this it is time to get help.
Personally, I believe that he has someone else.
If he is a normal male, they usually do not go without sex for long.
Either seek counseling or seek a divorce attorney real soon..
2007-09-18 04:48:22 · answer #3 · answered by kitty 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he's not having sex with you or is not even trying then he's getting it somewhere else. The only way a man will maybe go without sex a year is if he is a trustful man deployed to war.
2007-09-18 04:56:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The question you should be asking yourself is why are you still married to him? Your love can't change this man. He doesn't love himself.
2007-09-18 04:46:53 · answer #5 · answered by utakeanasprin 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u need to leave him things rnt going to get any better
2007-09-18 04:43:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
some times it is possible. because think one time
2007-09-18 04:43:22 · answer #7 · answered by shojaga_4u 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get out of that relationship and move on with ur life..he doesn't deserve you
2007-09-18 04:54:20 · answer #8 · answered by ladybug35 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm more curios to know why youre still married
2007-09-18 04:43:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋