Should i tell my mum?

Question

That i had an abortion on saturday. I'm only 15 and i know she'll be disappointed but people said i should tell her because if she finds out from somewhere else then she might got more angry and upset that i went through it without her. So far i'm doing my best to cover it all up and she hasn't noticed anything she just thinks i'm on my period. I don't think i want to tell her because i know she'll judge me and hate my boyfriend plus the possibility she tells my dad is too risky and my dad is scary when he's angry. I just wanted to know other people's opinions on this? Thanks in advance for your answers.

Answer 1

you cant let anyone make a decision for you
don't worry about it
i wish i had advice of someone
i was so alone i had no one 2 speak 2 even now
the only people i can talk to is my boyfriend
but he doesn't like talking about it
and friends
but one is with her boyfriend all the time
one is out all the time
and the other one has moved away
i ish i could talk to someone sometimes
but i don't want to tell my mum
if u do tell someone
make sure they wont tell your mum
if you don't want her to know
it is better for your mum to hear it of you
then off someone else
and if your ready only if your ready
u cant let anyone push you into telling her
you don't have to
but if you really think you should do it
good luck Hun xxxxx

Answer 2

I think that it's great that an attorney wrote on this site. It is very nice to trust your family but your safety comes first. Also it is very difficult, at least for me, to not tell people what's going on, BUT if your mom might find out through the grapevine try to tell as few people as possible. It seems like this is causing a lot of worry. You are acting very grown up. Many people of all ages get pregnant by mistake and take care of it, just like you did. I've only had one abortion, and even though I don't regret it I'm glad that it was a one time thing. The only thing you've done wrong is being under 18 and having to add your parents to your list of worries.

Answer 3

Depending on how close you are to your mother, the guilt of not telling her will eventually eat you up.

As a mother of a 17 year old daughter, I'd be more upset that my daughter didn't tell me than the fact that she got the abortion. I'd want her to tell me so just in case she has any complications, I'd know what was wrong and could get her the help she needed. I'd want her to tell me so that I could comfort her through her self-talk about the abortion. Don't think you're just going to shake that off and once you're done bleeding, you'll be your old self again. Thoughts about the abortion will come up for you time and time again and with it
feelings of shame, relief, sadness, anger, etc.

It is too late to get upset about the abortion - it is past. But there is plenty of time left to be hurt and upset by the deception. Don't go another day without giving your mother the chance to love you through this difficult time. Tell her, talk to her - let her in.

My thoughts go with you.

Answer 4

I'm not an expert by any means, but I am an attorney who deals with Domestic violence issues all the time. I would advise you to talk to a counselor at planned parenthood about the potential for your Dad getting angry (does he get violent) and then talk to your Mom -- I'm sure she will be understanding -- she's Mom. If you really fear Dad. Planned Parenthood can probably give you a referral to a family counselor that maybe you can see with the family to help you through this

Best wishes

Answer 5

It is up to you to tell her or not! If you think she'll find out somehow, you should tell her now instead of her finding out some other way...try to be more careful from here on out, remember, abortion isn't a form of birth control and can be risky for you!!! Best of luck to you!

Answer 6

Personally I would tell your mom. She will be able to help you with everything you are going through. Why did you get an abortion? If you didn't want the child you could have put it up for adoption.

Answer 7

I don't want you to get hurt my your dad if he gets too angry and hurts you, but I would tell my parents. I probably would have told my parents before having the abortion. Good luck! And please use protection next time. I hope you learned from this.

Answer 8

yeah..you should.. unless you doesn't love them and didn't love your bf anymore. like you just said, ur parents will getting angry and hates your bf if they found out about this..
but..theres no parents whoes doesn't love thier doughter right? so..they'll do anythings for you to make sure you'll get the best for your future.. best wishes.

Answer 9

Yes, u should tell ur mom about it....I am sure they can forgive u coz Family is the Best place to get care and Love with.........

Answer 10

this is tricky...and how did you get that done without her consent?? i dont think someone can do that, but i could be wrong, maybe planned parenthood. but i would tell her eventually. make it a right time, but there really is no right time. you should have told her to begin with. she wouldnt be nearly as hurt as she probably will be now.