My brother is 17 and he hangs out with only homosexuals between the ages of 25 - 45 years of age. My brother says he is straight but he likes hanging out with gay people because they are non-judgemental according to him.
One of his gay friends recently bought him a $600 wallet! Should I be concerned that this friend might want some bedroom action because of the expensive gift?
My brother is a very fragile person at the moment and I am worried they will hurt him.
** I am not homophobic so no personal attacks please**
2007-09-17 18:32:24 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
He feels more comfortable with them than straight guys...You don't make someone gay....
2007-09-17 18:36:42 · answer #1 · answered by Cinnamon 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They won't make him gay. People don't decide to be gay or become gay. They either are or are not. Perhaps your brother is gay. Or maybe he's in a confused state and worrying about it. In any case your fragile 17 year old brother should not be hanging around 25-45 year old anything--male, female, gay, straight--whatever. He should be spending time with people his own age. Unfortunately, he is right that kids his age are often pretty judgmental. Not that they have any idea what they are judging. They just express their random opinions. And a $600 gift is pretty unreasonable. So, I'd say you have some reason to be concerned for your brother's welfare. As I said at the beginning, you don't turn people gay, but sometimes people are abused or taken advantage of. Whether he is gay or not, he is vulnerable, so keep on watching out for him.
2007-09-18 01:58:36 · answer #2 · answered by treebird 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am more worried about your brother hanging around guys 25 -45 years old. That is a real concern. As far as making him gay, I don't think so. He either is gay or not. It sounds like he is looking for attention and acceptance, but in the wrong place. Maybe you should have a real heart-to-heart with him and listen to him. Then be supportive. Just try to suggest finding people his own age to identify with. The $600 wallet should go back, for sure.
2007-09-18 01:43:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Never mind the fear that these men might turn your brother gay, or that he is even hanging out with gay people. Your concern should be the fact that the age group he is hanging around. Granted I have a lot of younger friends too, but I am not out there buying them 600.00 gifts either. Even if it were a birthday present its borderline...Cardinal rule of thumb you don't spend more than 100.00 dollars on a friend. There is no need too because its all about the sentimental. Expensive gifts are saved for really close friends, family, and lovers. Agreed too your brother can't be turned gay even if he were sexually violated if he knows he's straight then he is straight.
2007-09-18 02:04:19 · answer #4 · answered by foxy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one can make your brother gay... except your mom and dad, and that was done at time of conception. Your brother's actions indicate that he may well be gay, be in denial, be more comfortable around gays who do not 'pick on him" for being whatever. Rest assured, he will not 'become gay' by hanging around with gay people...it is not contagious. That someone bought him a wallet worth 600.00 ( somewhat high priced wallet, that is for sure) indicates only that the giver is hopeful to make a realtionship of some kind with him. That he accepted the gift means that he accepted a wallet, no more.
Anything else he does is strictly up to him. So if I were you, I would be totally accepting of whatever he chooses to live...there is nothing you can do to stop him, so just be his brother, love him no matter what. After all, being Gay is not a disease, is not bad, and for most gays, it is great. Good luck and peace, Goldwing
2007-09-18 01:53:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing will make your brother gay. It is my opinion that we are born gay or straight, it is not a choice. He may be spending time with gay men because he is curious and doesn't want to come right out and say so. Many teenagers go through a time when they are questioning themselves. Or it could be that he is looking for acceptance and happened to find it with this particular group of people. The only concern I would have is that the older men would be attempting to prey on him because he is young and possibly naive.
2007-09-18 01:39:48 · answer #6 · answered by NiteOwl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd be a little concerned. He's only 17. I don't think a 17 year old has business hanging with gay males way older than him. Who is to say that he doesn't get taken advantage of. That could happen if it were a 25-45 year old woman too. You NEVER know.
2007-09-18 01:51:40 · answer #7 · answered by AmandaHugNKiss 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your SEVENTEEN-YEAR-OLD brother is being "groomed". This is a widespread, but seldom-acknowledged tradition in gay "culture". It consists of many facets, expensive gifts being one. Have your brother's "friends" invited him to go on any trips yet? If not, they will! Does your brother like to smoke or drink but he's not old enough to make purchases? Not a problem! Does he have a car yet? They will help with that, too. Have you heard your brother referring to women in a derogatory way? If so, the not-so-subliminal messages are taking hold. His thoughts and opinions are being molded and shaped to reflect his "non-judgemental" friends!!!
I'm not homophobic, either; I'm a realist. I know many MANY gay men, and I know how they think and operate. They are always scouting for new recruits to join the ranks, and they are willing to pay out big bucks to "groom" the right "boy". Young and inexperienced, he is the gay version of the "trophy wife". Don't be naive. You must know what is REALLY happening beneath the veneer of "friends"!
2007-09-18 02:47:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well hes right homosexuals are usually not judge mental and fun to be around. A person can't be turned gay. It's good to see him with some gay friends, I wish I had some more. If they really are his friends they will not take advantage of his "fragile" personality.
2007-09-18 01:38:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one can MAKE you be gay. It's a part of who you are. If he is gay try to deal with it and support him as much as possible. It's very hard to come out still, even with as much progress as the GLBT community has made.
2007-09-18 02:07:30 · answer #10 · answered by Poe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im saying this not as a way to be MEAN to anyone but to be honest
if your brother is fragile then u should really be watching out on him. i was fragile once and gay/bi ppl hurted me
Look if he is gay then...let him be with his friends. tell him to be competely honest with u...to come out once in for all
but if he is str8....i would be looking however....how gay guys (and bi) take adavatage of of lonely str8 guys who are hurt...and instead of helping them they hurt them even more...this happened to me...
i may wrong....ok....but keep a close eye on him.....
maybe u can also keep a close eye on his friends...if they r REALLY nice like he says then u have nothing to worry abt....
keep in mind this happens to anyone ...there r girls who r hurt and lonely and some str8 guys take advatage of that...
2007-09-18 09:40:08 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋