It is better to be loved. Sometimes being feared will help one get one want he/she wants but along with fear will exists feelings of resentment and hate. It will also nurture subversive thoughts of revenge and other malicious intent. Fear must be used in a tightly controlled and insistent fashion or it will fail.
To be loved, however, nurtures caring, compassion, loyalty, creativity, magnanimity, kindness, self sacrifice and other positive binding and giving emotions. It may also spawn jealousy in some. But overall, it is a much better relationship to have with other human beings. It seems obvious, but this is not always the case in both business and personal relationships.
Business is often driven by those who rule by fear. But that is not a good example of good leadership. Tough love can be part of good leadership and is not driven by fear.
In relationships, the threat of leaving someone to get what one wants is not a hallmark of a healthy relationship. I do believe that all love is conditional (it's only human) but one can only go so far in pressing the exchange theory of relationships. Thing like honesty, trust, sharing, compassion will go further to resolving conflicts in relationships than fear.
The fight for control occurs in all business and personal relationships, but it is better to feel loved than fear and this applies to all people and animals.
2007-09-17 17:58:02
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answer #1
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answered by tatyyuen 2
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No offense, but Machiavelli is often taken grossly out of context. He actually said the exact OPPOSITE - that an ideal leader is loved by his allies and feared only by his enemies. Where the quote you're referring to comes in is when he considers which is better if you could only have ONE. The reason he cites for this is simple: Men are "ungrateful, fickle, false, cowardly, covetous" and will turn on you and take your kindness for granted in a second, but when their own interests and safety is concerned as it is with fear, they can be trusted much further. As he puts it, "fear preserves you by a dread of punishment which never fails." While most people leave off Machiavelli at this point, I feel it's important to note a significant caveat that he includes. While fear is all well and good, HATRED is to be avoided at all costs. Hatred will drive people to do foolish things and oppose you given the slightest opportunity. His prototypical example of this is Hannibal. Hannibal, according to Machiavelli, united disparate warring tribes not just through his competence as a leader, but also through his legendary brutality and ruthlessness. Warlords wanted to take part in his campaigns because they were profitable and they had nothing against him personally (they didn't hate him), but they were kept obedient because they feared to cross him. Obviously, most of this doesn't apply to individual people. Nor was it intended to. There are very few people in the world who need to fear punishment from ME. If we're talking about these kinds of relationships, I like this quote from Seneca better: "He who injured you was either stronger or weaker. If weaker, spare him; if stronger, spare yourself."
2016-03-27 02:44:11
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answer #2
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answered by Anonymous
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That's like asking if it's better to be loved- or forgotten! Ultimately- it probably doesn't matter...--the sands of time cover all traces (except those that end up in Museums). But if you're one who CARES about such things, then it is better to be loved... -For Love lives on in the hearts of others; while Fear ends up written about in books on dusty shelves...
2007-09-17 17:48:38
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answer #3
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answered by Joseph, II 7
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both of them . love make you happy and can go on but feared makes you able to discover the Defects and mistakes with the ability to Reform it so life Requires love and fear together to be Balanced.
2007-09-17 23:51:39
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answer #4
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answered by Muhammad Khalifa. 3
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Loved. If you are feared, it is likely one of those who fear you will kill you.
2007-09-17 17:40:16
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answer #5
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answered by Shev 3
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The dog who fears his master always think of the moment he will be able to eat his nose. The dog who loves his master will give his life for him.
2007-09-21 16:35:31
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answer #6
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answered by Pragosh D 3
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Feared or loved as what? As a parent? As a prizefighter? As a judge? As a law enforcer? As a teacher? As a god?
See? With each role, you would get a different answer, and then the answer would further depend on many other factors. You'll have the better qualify your question.
If you accept a Biblical answer, Proverbs 1:7 "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction."
Proverbs 19:23, "The fear of th LORD tendeth to life: and he that hath it shall abide satisfied; he shall not be visited with evil."
"By humility and the fear of the LORD are riches, and honour, and life."
Psalms 34:9: "O fear the LORD, ye His saints: for there is no want to them that fear Him."
Proverbs 8:13: "The fear of the Lord is to hate evil..."
This "fear" is often misinterpreted as "servile fear" (the fear of getting in trouble) when it should be understood as "filial fear" (the fear of offending someone whom one loves). In this sense, fear and love aren't 2 different things--fear is a result of love.
2007-09-17 18:01:04
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answer #7
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answered by T-rex 2
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2015-08-04 09:46:17
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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L0V3D
2007-09-17 17:40:47
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answer #9
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answered by lloyd_banks_310 2
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