Losing virginity?

Question

My boyfriend is coming over to my dorm room on Friday and we will be having sex for the first time. We are very much in love (we've been together for years) and we've already got contraceptives. Is there anything else that I'm missing or that I should know and/or does losing your virginity hurt that much?

I know that there are people out there that believe you should save yourself for marriage, but I'm not of that opinion so I would appreciate it if I wasn't lectured on it. To all of those people, I would also like to say that we can't all meet the right guy at the right time. I believe that I've found the right one... he's helped me through my diagnosis for a terminal illness, so needless to say I am very much attached thank you very much.

Answer 1

well seems like you got it all covered. good on you for being prepared and not rushing into things. just remember go slow and everything should be OK

good luck :)

Answer 2

Okay. Before you do this, just ask yourself something. Are you REALLY ready to take that plunge with THIS guy, or AT ALL? Have you thought through all the different aspects of opening this "jar"? I am not saying this to discourage you, I just pray that you will really, really think on this before making that decision.

Your virginity is a one time thing. You'll never get it back. It's like a first kiss, only much more significant. If you are not religious, than I am not going to preach on saving yourself for marriage. BUT, what I will preach on is the importance of taking all of these things into consideration. Sex opens the door to all kinds of possible stress such as STDs, pregnancy, and the emotionally aspect of sex. No matter how much you love this guy, and I truly believe that you do, it is going to be far more emotional for you than it will be for him.

I am not saying you will sob your eyes out, but sex opens that emotional floodgate in a lot of girls and the saying "sex changes everything", is completely true.

I am really glad to hear that you have planned ahead and thought about contraceptives. That was very mature of you. If you do decide to go through with it, which is totally cool, just make sure you know how to use the contraceptive before hand to avoid any problems.

The level of hurting differs for each girl, but it will definitely feel uncomfortable at first. Your private parts are extremely tight, so you aren't used to anything bigger than a tampon in there! Make sure to use lube to decrease the amount of resistance going in.

Also, girl to girl. Pay attention to how you're feeling when this is all happening. Listen to your thoughts as this all happens. You will know right away if you aren't ready. If you get panic-y at all, be honest about it. I'm sure he would rather wait until you are ready.

Okay, I'll stop blabbing! All of that aside, if you're ready, have fun! :-)

Answer 3

You need to go to the health center and a get on a birth control ASAP. You are too young to take any chances.
Also when Friday comes don't rush into it if the time doesn't seem right. The best thing about love and sex is learning about it and sharing it with some one special. It only gets better as time goes on and as you get more experience.

Answer 4

just tell him to take it slow, treasure this moment (damn i wish i did) wait til u and are both aroused enough, start slowly and increase the pace when u both feel cormfortable and ready. it may hurt a bit at the start, tell him to slow down when this happens and let ur body adjust, if the pain is sharp and unbearable tell him to stop, and then try again in a weeks time and if its the same get some lube from the pharmacy and try thay, still no luck go and get a checkup.

Sure everthyng will be fine, deep breaths, you will be nervous and anxious but thats fine, just make sure you ready and aware of the consequences.

be smart and be protected

hope all goes well!
good luck
ps congrats :P

Answer 5

Sounds like you're both well prepared, both physically and emotionally. You've both obviously thought it through. Since you're in a dorm. I'll assume you're both of consenting age as well.

As for the pain issue. I didn't have any my first time. Though some people have. The main thing to keep in mind. There is no such thing as a "Right Way". So don't wonder about that. Also, remember, that the journey is often as wonderful as the end. So take your time, explore each other. Relax. Be considerate. Be generous.

Answer 6

Rae C is either a virgin or has one so small he can't find it. Probably both. He sure has no idea what he has said.

You are not giving away anything. You will be sharing and what is better than that.

I hope you know that the first few times will not be that great passion lost in a wild world thing. If it is not so great just remember to do anything well it does take some practice.

Answer 7

In the interest of ensuring you have a happy and healthy sexual life in the future, regardless of whether it's going to be with this man, married or not, I will share my experience with you.

My boyfriend and I had been together for about 6 weeks when we made love for the first time. Now, ordinarily, I would think that this is too quick to be jumping into bed with someone. However, I was 21, and he was 24. We had known each other for 8 years already. And both of us had agreed that this was a serious relationship, not just dating (and I was already sure I was going to marry him - which 2 years later, I did).

Before taking the relationship to this level, we had been physically intimate on other levels first. We started of with kissing, then fondling, moving up to masturbating, and then oral sex (not all at once, over the course of the 6 weeks). We had previously discussed sex, and what our values are, and how we were feeling about it all.

We were both interested in making love, and, as we were both confident we were heading towards marriage anyway, we did not feel the need to wait. Neither of us rushed the other person, and he indicated to me that he was ready about a week before I was ready. He said that it 'will be nice when it happens, but I'm not in a rush, I can wait.' which was beautiful of him. I told him that I absolutely would not be one of those silly girls who goes round not protecting herself as best as she could, so, he'd better make sure he had condoms, just in case I was ready.

On the night we did make love, we didn't plan to make love. We were in his room, and he was masturbating me, and I decided that I would like to share something more intimate with him. So, I waited until he had been masturbating me for a while, to ensure that I was very well lubricated, and I worked up the nerve to ask him to make love to me. He said 'are you sure?' and so I replied with 'do you have any condoms?' he said he did, and I said yes I was sure. Well, I've never seen a man move so fast before or since! As he was a virgin at the time too, he was quite nervous, and was worried about stuffing up I think.

I was expecting pain, I was expecting it to be fumbling and awkward. But it wasn't. I think because he took his time, and because I was well lubricated, and very much ready, it went smoothly. It was over rather quickly, it being his first time and all, but I knew not to expect to much from our first time, or indeed the next few times after that, so I was not disappointed.

For your situation, the only thing that concerns me is that you've 'planned' it. If it comes down to it, and you don't think you're ready, you are still allowed to say no. Don't rush into it. Don't do it because you feel like you have to.

Keep a few things in mind when going through this.
1. Don't expect too much from your first attempts at love making - making love is like any skill, practise makes perfect.
2. Don't rush - you want to savour every moment you spend together.
3. Ensure that you are well lubricated, and aroused - the main cause of pain during intercourse is lack of moisture, and moving too fast. The vagina is like a stretchy tube. the more you play with it, the more flexible it becomes - it has to be coaxed into opening up and loosening up so that penetration will not be uncomfortable.
4. While it is difficult for a male to restrain himself, he must NOT just push his penis inside all at once, this will cause discomfort and even pain. nudging it in a little each push is a much better way to go about it.
5. Be careful when using condoms. Once the man has ejaculated, he will need to hold the base of the condom, and be careful when pulling out, otherwise it could come off. It only takes one sperm to make a baby.
6. Enjoy it. you are going about this the right way. You have a man you've been with for a very long time. You've waited until you're old enough to deal with the consequences (good or bad) of your actions, and you're using contraception, which is a lot more than some people do these days.

Good luck! :)

Answer 8

well ya it kinda does hurt, but if you take it slow for the first five minutes or so then you should be fine. Usually sex lasts for like an hour lol. so it's not like the slowness would take away from the fun. Try laying in missionary position. Put your legs over his shoulder from time to time, just for him to get better excess inside. I mean your a virgin so it's not gonna be that easy for him to get it perfectly in the first fough times. Grab onto somthing like a pillow and squeeze if any pain comes. Kissing kept my thoughts off the pain when i lost it. We also did it to music for the first fough minutes. It was great going to the slow beat. Also if you are terrible with handling pain then just have 1 shot of vodka before he comes lol. Have fun!!
Keep your mind on how much you love him and it'll make it soooo much better.
also remember the first three times won't be the easiest, but afterwards the sex will be so much painless(if at all) and so much more fun.
After a bit you'll get into it better so don't get scared if you feel somthing hurting thats just you getting usto it.

Answer 9

I'm so sick of the lectures.
if people were to prevent you from doing something wrong everytime you were about to do it, we would never make mistakes and we would never learn from it.
sex is a personal decision.
only you and your partner can make the decision.
honsetly, don't plan it though.
but i can also understand because it means that it wasn't at the heat of the moment.
well, you should think about it and if thats what you want, do it.
hurting depends on size, my first time it hurt and people i knew said i would bleed, but i didn't.
but it just depends.
good luck, have fun, be safe.

Answer 10

Props to you for being prepared. Just make sure you are totally comfortable with your decision. Keep in mind that it will hurt, but it will be fine as long as you go slow. Also keep in mind that it's totally normal if it doesn't make it in all the way the first time. Get some candles and light them ahead of time, and get something pretty to wear. It will be great!

Answer 11

You two have waited long enough, just do it when you two think the time has come. Enjoy it! Sex is only a small aspect of life but it can be VERY fun. Remember the boy can hurt too if he is uncircumcised, i heard. If you cooperate really well you will both do well, he might be too excited the first time and he might ''finish'' in 30 seconds. It's okay too, just wait a little while then do it again. Good luck and cheers for you becoming a woman!