What can you do if your self esteem is that low you don't feel worthy of any girl or entering into a?

Question

relationship and keeping them?
you become clingy, want intamacy...and your opinion about yourself always shows through. which is a very very low one.
iam a 30 year old bpd sufferer thats had a very traumatic life.

i feel like im the only french person to have ever gone through anything like this or suffered this way..

can anyone advise?

i always put every girl on a peda stool high above me...

like im truly worthless and unworthy..its a horrible feeling....can anyone help?

im 30 and aging prematurly....but ive never had a relationship because of my bpd.
but now im 30, im starting to long for love from somebody..
sorry i no it sounds pathetic

Answer 1

It's not pathetic bro. I used to feel like this. You have to build yourself up. Find something good about yourself and gain esteem from it. You're not worthless dude. You also need to find a woman who is very caring and nurturing. Don't worry about 30; it's not old. Anyway, just look for someone now, and settle for a good woman. Don't go after a jewel of a beauty-physically, unless she is very good and nice and sweet and genuine, and you have tested this first before falling in love. Be cautious with your heart. Just find someone with a good spirit, and be good to her in return. There is always someone for you. Just hang in there. And don't go hiding, cause you'll never find someone.

Answer 2

Okay, I'm not Dr. Phil but here is my opinion: Hopefully you have sought help for your BPD; then the next thing to do is to go to a support group. This is where you will meet people who can fully understand you and there might be a potential relationship there. It doesn't sound like you would be that undesireable because you have apparently had relationships before so someone must have been attracted to you; Also, you should let the girl decide whether you are worthy or not. If you tell someone that you think they are worthy, are you lying? No! So if they tell you, then they must think it is true. They are entitled to their opinion you know. And, the big finale, if you are in fact French, from France and have that ulltra cool accent that all French people do......then you need not worry. Even if you get mad and insult people in French, it still is really sexy. You can't lose!

Answer 3

I'm sorry to hear this, because a lonely lifestyle is a very miserable one. I understand what it's like to not feel like you can measure up, that's also a very sufferable emotion. Just try to remember that there will be a girl you fall in love with that loves you twice as much. Don't ever feel like anyone is above you, because that's not the case. All people are equal, and why should any one bother to love you if you don't even love yourself. Get into a routine of not putting yourself down. Everyone is worthy of love, and that includes you too. And remember that 30 isn't very old, especially when people are living to be 100+ these days. good luck :) remember how important you are.

If BPD is bipolar disorder, I have it too. It should never keep you from getting out there and being sociable. I try to look past it and think to myself, what do they know? Everybody's different, so how can they tell me who I am and try to categorize MY mind.

Answer 4

Sounds like you need some mental health therapy to help you with this. I doubt there is anything anyone here can help you with. I don't know what BPD is (unless it's Bipolar Disorder?). In any case, am sure there are drugs for the disorder and then far as your low self esteem, do something to better yourself. Work out, learn to cook, further your education, etc etc. Gaining confidence is hard but once you find your niche, it'll come easy.

Answer 5

wellbutrin

Its not your mind, its your physiological chemistry

I've read that about a third of people get over whatever they have absent treatment; a third get over whatever they have with talk therapy

talk therapy = absence of treatment

but two out of three or more get over what they have with medication

medication = twice as effective as no treatment

wellbutrin is the SSRI that has few or slightly beneficial side effects; Prozac might limit your romantic urges but wellbutrin keeps them

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wellbutrin

en francais http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liste_d%27antid%C3%A9presseurs

think all you like; just talk with a physician

Headphones n eyewear might be shielding you from some social participation; if girls with headphones seem less approachable then aha! they might feel that way as well

Travel is an effective way to change social boundaries; go travelling

Answer 6

Take the girls off the peda stool and start a relationship, women are desperate too

Answer 7

You must be able to give to a relationship from sufficiency, not just take from it out of need.

Nobody out there wants to complete you. They want you "no assembly required."

Answer 8

get a job. don't quit. keep busy. stop thinking about what you don't have. get a good hobby. God made eve for adam. but he has a plan for us all. yours may be to not find eve, or ever find her. so stop the stressing.

Answer 9

you will find someone some day
and that is a horrible feeling to be put trough