Why do nice guys like me always finish last?

Question

I don't think I'm hideously ugly or anything, I'm just extremely shy. What can I do to be more outgoing and get the women to think I'm sexy not adorable or just the nice guy that's a friend only.

Answer 1

Hello - take it from another man, instructions that is. Don't be the guy to always try to please the girls, they are quick to use you to get to your friends that ignore them or treat them like cr-ap.

Make your move and let them know what you want. If it's a long term relationship and you are young (Between 15 and 25), that won't fly for you. Tell them I need to get myself laid and you look like a person that knows what to do. Hopefully you have passed hand strokes and also pass holding hands, if you know what I mean.

Answer 2

The main problem is shy is the exact opposit of what women look for. They are attracted strength and confidence. I know this as i was "friend" to some very attractive girls. I might as well have been another girl. They were always attracted to the guys that ended up using them, and all the stuff they really hated. and they were never going to make that mistake again until the next one came along. To answer your Question, you have to step out of the comfortable and talk to your girl friends like they are ordinary people. Most don't bite They are just like you only they smell better. learn to talk to your girl friends It's easy once you try, trust me, And even though you have that quakey feeling and the rushing noises in your head open your mouth and say something different than you normally would. I would never start a conversation, and after while I had to speak up or I was left out of a lot of stuff. And I finally sung a song to my favorite girl friend. I didn't drop dead or anything like that, It is up to you, You are fully capable of much more than you think, you just have to trust in yourself. being friends is good but it falls way short of what you can have with a little step forward.

Answer 3

Girls,when they are young, like a men that are bad, that doesn't play by the rules. But what they find out later in life is that they should had listen to their heart and not there hormones, and alot of times they have kids with these guys that told them they were the only one and that they loved them only to find out that guy isn't anywhere to be found. I use to think the same thing and i would see these girls getting treated like nothing and I always wondered why. But don't give up, i'm married now to a beautiful wonder woman and two kids.

Answer 4

When you go out, are you out with girls that are friends? Probably a good idea to ditch the friends when looking for romance. Usually the "shy guy" is to much of a push over for most women. There's nothing wrong with being polite, but have some self esteem. You say your not hideous so put yourself out there with confidence. Most quiet men that I know are very easy going. Most of their spouses are extremely talkative. But they get along very well. So you may end up with a very voicterous woman. lol But, you won't meet anyone if you are going out with the gals, find a male friend to hang with. Good luck.

Answer 5

Just be yourself. Being friends is the best way to become best of friends, and eventually becoming husband and wife!
Also, I've known men who were extremely shy around women they didn't know. Try getting to know women as friends first. If you're interested in a particular one, and, you sort of let your "friends" know you are and would like to find out where the one you're interested stands regarding you, have them play cupid and find out. That saves a LOT of embarrassment for you if she's not interested. But, trust me, there is Ms. Right out there for you.
And, my niece (my sister's daughter)introduced me to her uncle . She knew I thought he was a total hunk. We've been together for 15 years now and married for 8. That proves having someone play cupid works.
Could it be you may be too picky? Think about what you want in a woman. If you're looking for a Brook Shields and you're really shy, it might not happen.

Answer 6

Well, I'm a really shy person as well. I've always tried to get advice for this type of question and what I've always heard is,"Just smile and try to initiate the conversation instead of waiting for someone else to start one." Girls like outgoing guys.

Answer 7

Shyness doesn't make you nice. Get over this myth. It's just a snooty stereotype devised to treat some people with contempt. If you are shy that doesn't mean you are the nicest guy on this earth.

Answer 8

i read your question and just had to give u a perfect example----i have a very attractive 18 yr old daugher, she has been asked out my a male model, meanwhile, she has been told that another-- very shy guy likes her, she is absolutely beside herself that the shy guy won't talk to her whenever she's present, because she really likes him alot more when he is being himself. he only opens up on myspace, or texting, and he's even told her that its because she makes him nervous, but if he doesnt get over it soon, she is gonna look elsewhere, he even stood her up on a day out with friends, and told her later it was because he is nervous about how she really feels towards him, her being as attractive as she is.
And you wanna know the kicker, she doesnt even think she's all that.(of course she is, but she really doesnt think so)

Answer 9

well, whatever you're doing it's not working so stop doing it or start looking for a different type of girl.

some girl probably feels the same way about guys like you. about how you're so nice but, always after girls who don't appreciate you. there's somebody for everybody. besides anything thing worth having is worth waiting for so maybe you just need to be patient.

who knows

good luck

Answer 10

You're still upset about all that "darling" stuff? Deal. You'll find a girl who is cool with the shy stuff.

It's just by the numbers girls dig (& dudes respect) a guy who pushes their own way. Human nature. But ya gotta be real to yourself.