we both have been hanging out for a while, we talk on the phone endlessly, we get along great, it all started innocently but we now there are some feelings involved... the problem is that he is not single, his relationship has not been working out, i never meant to hurt anybody, and if anything i'm the one who is going to get hurt in all of this. should i put distance between the other party involved? should we continue to just hang out and not follow our feelings?? what is the healthy thing to do?
2007-09-17 14:24:45 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
nobody is married here. and there has not being any physical contact.
2007-09-17 14:28:28 · update #1
this i can relate to.
this s not going to be easy what ever you both do.
i personally would give the guy a some space for him to realize what he really wants to do. if he's feelings for you are strong and real he would be with you and let his girl go. dont hang around while he's wit his girl because your just goin to hurt yourself by doing that. what if he never leaves the girl and let you hang until you get really hurt.
talk to him and ask him how he really feels about you and let him know how you really feel. let him know that you want to take this to the next level with him but not until he leaves his girl. let him know your not pressuring him and that its his choice if he wants to leave her or to be with you. he can not have both.
understand that breaking up with someone you used to love is going to take awhile. but dont wait too long.
just tell him the truth how you feel and let him that you want him.
like i said after you shared your thoughts with him give him some time to think what he really wants to do.
you know what you want your just waiting on him to move forward. dont wait too long.
and its not yur fault that they are having problems.
good luck.
2007-09-17 14:42:25 · answer #1 · answered by lovelylen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been there myself. Right now I just recently reconnected w/ an old friend from high school. We talk on the phone and chat online almost every night. But the only difference between Your problem and mine is that I'm married. I don't won't to hurt anyone but you will end up hurting someone if not yourself. The only answer I can give u is that protect your heart if this is just friendship. The last thing u want to do is get caught up. Maybe you need to distance yourself from this person. Because hanging out with this person on a day today , can increase things to intensify on another level. Sometimes you can't help it. If you follow those feelings and this person is still involve w/ someone else, you will get hurt. You need to let this person know how you feel and also let them know before any thing get started they need to break free of the relationship he has with s/o else. I hope it works out for u.....Good luck!
2007-09-17 22:19:53 · answer #2 · answered by snmg 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In giving you so much time and attention "talk on the phone endlessly", and "hanging out together" he IS cheating his partner. The fact that he devotes so much of his time to be with you means he's not doing that with her. And if it doesn't matter to him that he's doing that, but it should to you.
If he hasn't the will or the guts to end it with her, please, for your own sake, don't let this go any further. He is not giving EITHER of you women a full commitment, he's having his cake (the relationship with his partner) and eating it too (you on the side to help boost his ego). Please, if you don't want this to end badly, take a step back from him, tell him that YOU think he's not being fair to either of the women involved - one to be left in the dark - in her case, and the other on the outer - in yours. Tell him he needs to work out what it is he wants, and then work to get things cleared up, before he starts anything else.
The other thing to consider is would you want to be with someone who thinks that's OK? Would you be willing to take the chance that he would do the same thing to you? And don't believe that you can make it better than she did, because the desire and belief that having more is HIS choice and not hers.
2007-09-17 21:48:27 · answer #3 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you are just on time to stop it now. He is involved with someone else. You have to think that what goes around comes around. You wouldn't want another girl to romance him down the road if you end up together, would you? How would you feel if you were the other woman? You knew he was taken when you started this, didn't you? Well sweetie, it is time to end it. He is not a free man. If for some reason they break up down the road, then you can try again. But for now, just call the quits.
2007-09-17 22:27:05 · answer #4 · answered by Ricardo R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would enjoy the friendship. The ball is in his court. If his relationship is not working out - he will have to come to terms with that and break away from the other person. You can express your feelings and enjoy what you have, but give him the time and space to figure out what is best for him. In the end - the unhappy relationship will end on its own. If he gets into the position of cheating on her - it can make him feel guilty and that could backfire on you. You wouldn't want that. Hang in there.
2007-09-17 21:40:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he wants to be with you, he will be. If he wants to be with her and you continue being friends with him after developing feelings for him, you're just going to get hurt.
2007-09-17 21:33:35 · answer #6 · answered by Mel 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
S e x!
2007-09-17 21:30:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋