How would you define Grief?

Question

From personal experience it is soul destroying…There is no escape and the ability to function is almost impossible… There are many forms of love, all rewarding but when it has gone or is took away the sorrow runs deep.

So for me grief is the worse pain ever as there is no escape until time allows you to adjust. It is a state of mind and emotional turmoil that cripples and renders you incapable.

Just my thoughts…

Thanks for all your comments, to know is to understand and it is evident you all do....

Answer 1

You described it well. I think it was Marlena Dietrich (sp) that said "Time doesn't heal all wounds, you just get used to the sorrow."

Answer 2

Perfect description....My thoughts exactly !!
It's the worsed feeling ever..because as you say there is no escape from your own mind and thoughts...its that wrenching pain inside you.. not a medical pain, but a deep deep sense of loneliness and despair even when your surrounded by loving and caring people...its an emotion that cannot be compared to ANY other !
And you are so right when you say it cripples you...and makes you incapable of even the simplest of tasks like taking a shower or washing your hair...you are so engulfed in this over powering sadness that all else seems trivial and pointless...thank god for time...it's your only friend !!

Answer 3

I can speak from personal experience too...my sister was killed by a drunk driver when she was just 9yrs old....

everyone handles that sort of grief differently, there is no right or wrong way to grieve....some people let the world see they are falling apart and some people find the strength to only fall apart in private....it doesn't mean that one is grieving more than the other.

I do admire people who hold themselves with dignity and keep their grief private, that is so the hardest thing to do.but then i don't hold the view that people who are rendered incapable weak...they just have a different emotional make-up

Answer 4

My opinion of grief is that it is a purely mental reaction to a disturbing event. Different people deal with grief in different ways and an event which could take one person a life time to get over will take another person a month. Grief depends on your outlook on life just like depression. If you think that people go to a better place when they die then it is easier to adjust then if you believe in nothing. The more you care about life the more grief gets to you and the less you think about it the quicker it is to get over the problems.

Answer 5

Surreal. Limp. Shock. Crying past the point of it hurting where you become numb. A void in you that can not be replaced. Incapable of reason and understanding, like all of your thoughts become blank. A sense of just going though motions, like a dream. Forever changing the world that you have come to know when you finally realise it will never be the same. Appreciation for the good in life making you see that every moment, every second you feel love, happiness and laughter, is to be cherished and looked at as a true blessing and to never take it for granted.

Answer 6

The times in my life I have truly grieved, it consumed my mind, heart, and soul. From those experiences, sorrow remains even now but not to the extent of deep grief I had once felt. For me, I had to embrace the pain in order to remember and learn from it. In doing so, I was then able to see the blessing of it. I don't think time heals all wounds, time softens the edges of the wound, but it never really goes away. Grief will destroy you if allow it to.

Answer 7

I noticed that you used the word 'adjust' and not heal. I can relate to this as my wife and I have had to adjust to the loss of our son in 1994. We still feel the pain and not a day goes by that we don't think of him. We don't dwell on it, we have gotten on with out lives but that doesn't say that we grieve any less. Whenever someone asks us if it has gotten any better for us, we can only say; "no, we've just learned to live with it". There is no healing to the loss of a 16 year old son to a drunk driver, you just learn to live with it.

However, there are those good times that we can remember about our loved ones who were taken from us.

One of our favorites is, anytime my wife and/or I would pull into a parking lot and parked next to a car with people in it, our son would roll down the window and yell across to the next car; "Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?"

Answer 8

I think you defined it very well and people grieve in so many different ways. I have only really ever experienced major grief once in my life when my mom found out she had Leukemia. I have lost grandparents but the grief is different because they were so old and no longer suffering. So many different forms of grief and I think it is important for people to grieve as long as they need to and how they need to.

Answer 9

complete and utter numbness ,i have felt this only once thankfully ,it is the saddest emotion of all some people cope with it better than others , if you can find your inner strength ,you will get you through it ,but it will never completely go away as so many have said before me you just get used to it ,life is a journey ,with lots of stops along the way some have an easy ride some don't if we stay strong we may make it to the end xx

Answer 10

I've been there twice in a three month period. First with my dad and then with my mum. My mum took her own life and I didn't think I would ever get over it. I was still coping with the death of my dad and then it happened with my mum. The pain was unbearable and it's true what you say about time allowing you to adjust but it never goes away it just gets easier to deal with but it changes you inside forever.

Answer 11

Grief is the absence of happiness.

Grief is a deep seated sense of loss and confusion.

Grief results in the outward of sorrow in the event of loss, seperation, accident or worry, or wrong doing.

Grief is to conscience what guilt is to an offence commited in error.