I am not married but am involved with someone who is. (Please no lectures on the wrongness of affairs, etc etc). She has no plans to leave her spouse, which is fine as she obviously is unfaithful- which is not my fault. She actually initiated our relationship. This is not her first affair. She claims she loves her partner and is perfectly happy with them - I have asked her how she can cheat on him if she "loves" him and her response is always "I don't know" or she gets into how much she likes me.
Now keep in mind - I have never cheated on my significant other (when I've been involved, which I currently am not). And yes, I understand that doesn't make this situation "OK". Now if I become involved in a relationship with someone - I will end it with her. I do not condone cheating. This question isn't about me - I am just confused as to the entire situation. Has anyone else been in HER shoes?? I am interested in input - NOT in comments condeming affairs - that's already understood.
2007-09-17 14:09:22 · 11 answers · asked by The Other O 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
FYI- Please also keep in mind, I do care about this woman VERY much and we will both always remain friends. The intimacy seemed to be a way to magnify our friendship and bring us closer. It was never in an attempt to break up a relationship or even for us to have a relationship. Just curious as to if anyone else has been in HER situation so I can get a better grasp on it.
2007-09-17 14:13:42 · update #1
I don't know how anyone who is in love with their partner can cheat. Makes you wonder is she would cheat on you doesn't it? She can't be perfectly happy with her husband....or she would have no reason to look elsewhere to full fill whatever need that is not being met. I don't condone cheating for any reason nor do I condone anyone being a party to someones cheating ways.
2007-09-17 14:18:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do women want a "bad boy?" Why do men want to take home every stripper they see? Why will a kid with $5 in their pocket try to walk out of a store with a pack of gum? It is in the adrenalin rush and taboo of getting away with something. Extreme sports, dangerous situations, cheating, and other situations that create a rush. While she is happy in her situation and loves her husband, there is still the thrill of the hunt, the thrill of conquest, and the thrill of getting away with something you shouldn't be doing. In her mind, she is not feeling fulfilled at home or she just loves sex. Some people can have a great sex life at home and still want more. You are her escape from routine and daily crap she deals with at home. Rather than smoke a joint, get drunk, or do other drugs, she has sex with you. It is a vice and habit that provides a release of tension. Have fun while it lasts. Sooner or later she will find someone else.
2007-09-17 22:17:57 · answer #2 · answered by baseballdad69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is rough because if she ever did leave and go with you she has the ability to do it again.if the other guy doesn't know how will you and at the very least it will always be on your mind and that will eat at bad.i know i have been through it.hopefully this helps you and gets me a best answer!!!thanks bro p.s. my personnel opinion is no one would cheat if they were truly in love except maybe if they were really drunk.it tough on her because she probably has a lot of time put into this relationship and is scared of what change may bring.,
2007-09-17 21:25:23 · answer #3 · answered by scotie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a great question. If you love someone, how can you cheat on them knowing that it will hurt them and you are running the risk of losing the best thing that happened to you? I don't understand it either, and people do it every day.
2007-09-17 21:14:19 · answer #4 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it just sounds like to me that she wonts her cake and eat it too how would she like it if her husband done it to her and i dont condone cheating either and exspecially you knowing she is married and having affair with her it is all wrong i have had it done to me by my husband and it hurts so bad thank god we worked through it and are very much in love and happy and she cant be in love with her husband and happy if she is cheating she just comfortable with him and seeing you is making it exciting for her and as long as you and other guys allow her to do this she will continue to do it think about others feelings before doing this kinds of things and then it would never happen in life
2007-09-17 21:27:06 · answer #5 · answered by foxy lady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people get married and shouldn't and think it's OK to cheat, in her head she loves her husband. She doesn't have a heart.
2007-09-17 21:20:48 · answer #6 · answered by moonchild 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She can't be in love with him in any mature sense of the word and cheat. She's using him, she's using you, and goodness knows how many other turkeys she has lined up to be used.
2007-09-17 21:13:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
She's selfish and doesn't love herself so she can't possibly love anyone else.
Happy, loving people don't try to break the hearts of people who love and trust them the most.
2007-09-17 21:18:07 · answer #8 · answered by Roland'sMommy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude. I don't know what to tell you. Once I start cheating the relationship is pretty much over. do what you must though. its your life.
2007-09-17 21:26:07 · answer #9 · answered by JillardG 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because cheating has nothing to do with love. Cheating is just for fun and sex, no love at all. In fact, a person will love their other more once they cheat.
Whoever made the rule 'one person to have sex with forever' did not take into account human nature.
2007-09-17 21:17:51 · answer #10 · answered by null_the_living_darkness 7 · 0⤊ 4⤋