I am 30 now, when i was 17 i thought i was homosexual, i was on alot of mental tranquilizers, and sedatives and was a very depressed person, i found solace and love in a friend who was gay and thought that i was, i was 15 when i met him and began a relationship, when i was 17 i came out, i did use alot of drugs and drank heavily from 15-24 and was probably not in my right mind, for awhile i thought i might even be Bi, i had made the mistake though, and came out and everyone and their mother knew that i was gay, but they were shocked, i left him when i turned 20, and never dated a man again, but kept my relationships private, i am now 30, and know for SURE that i wasn't gay, i was confused, i have been to therapists, and counselors, and we all have concluded the fact that i was confused and not in my right mind, but all this time everyone still thinks i am gay, how do i tell everyone that i am NOT? i have been dating a woman for the past 4 years and plan to be married soon. HELP!
2007-09-17 13:23:57 · 7 answers · asked by Understanding User 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Congratulations for getting out of that infernal fog that the drugs keep you on. Funny isn't it that we are prescribed drugs just so we can tolerate our own actions?
Tell them straight out. I'm sure they will be very happy for you.
2007-09-17 14:02:56 · answer #1 · answered by Dr Jello 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to tell them anything. If you want to explain to your fiance what happened when you were younger then tell her so that she is prepared for the strange looks and comments. Otherwise, have a private conversation with your parents and tell them what you just told us. If people ask you simply respond "I love my girlfriend (or fiance) and we are going to get married. She is my life now." Hopefully corteous people will just accept it and not question you.
And as a note- Most men are NOT gay because of a trauma in their past. There is no study that proves that. Psychologists don't know why some people are attracted to the same sex- but all evidence points to genetics and NOT life expiriece.
2007-09-17 20:33:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
dude. you are thirty? umm you should have introduced her to your family earlier.. if anything they would have clapped in approval that you were with a woman. hiding it until now isnt very smart especially since you wanna maryy her... introduce her to the family asap! they will love you regardless and who the *** cares what everyone else thinks!
2007-09-17 20:32:40 · answer #3 · answered by Katie R 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them your were really, truly confused. Most people aren't, but in this case, you actually were.
2007-09-17 20:40:00 · answer #4 · answered by ren 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hmmm.....tell them u were bicurious but....maybe it was a transition for u or something....and that it has now pass and u now consider yourself str8......and u plan to leave your homosexual past behind.....
2007-09-17 20:34:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
when you introduce them to your girl, i think they'll figure it out. why worry about it anyway?you weren't concerned when you believed yourself to be gay, why does it bother you now that you aren't?
2007-09-17 20:33:35 · answer #6 · answered by racer 51 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
just tell them...most men are gay because of some trauma in their past, congratulations on your healing
2007-09-17 20:31:27 · answer #7 · answered by Billie 5 · 3⤊ 4⤋