my question is this and i know im gonna get put on blast for this i recently was contacted by an old flame from 10yrs ago and she is still crazy for me but she is married now she states she loves her husband but she also still wants to see me again i agreed if she brought her husband along so i may meet him too she wants closure in why we broke up i already explained tha to her she has accepted that but still wants to see me problem is she wants to meet me alone and has asked me to meet her (she lives in another city) alone ,and like ive said before i agreed if she brought her husband so i can meet him also but she says for her to meet me first before we all meet together what do i do i already agreed to meet her....
2007-09-17 12:05:08 · 15 answers · asked by rashaan_lewis_patterson 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No worries, dont beat yourself up over this, you can still meet her. U did the right thing by asking that her husband b with her.
Since you said yes, follow thru, only you pick the place - a PUBLIC place - not a secluded booth kinda place. It should b open enough so that you cant get away with showing huge emotions, or doing anything naughty.
Be very clear to her y that it is over. Very clear. And tell her that this is the last time that you'll c her. Careful, since she still wants u. U know she will try and see if you have the same feelings for her. If you think that there is any chance that you will cave and give into her, then DONT meet her without her husband.
I would even go so far as picking an earlier meeting time very close to the time for the 3 of you to meet.
Are u sure that she has told her husband about the meeting of the 3 of u? Be sure about that too.
I have a sure fire way to get outa a sticky situation ... works with blind dates, really. Setup a friend to call your cell phone at a predetermined time - this is your excuse out if you need it. eg: if u r meeting her at 2pm, get your friend to call your cell at 3pm. If the situation is cool an hour into the conversation, fine, but if not, here is your queue to leave to attend to the phone call.
Hopefully this will end her calls. BTW - u r a very nice guy to agree to meet. Just dont let her talk you into something that u will regret. Good luck :).
2007-09-17 12:29:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as her intentions are good, there is no problem in seeing her alone first. It doesn't have to be "alone" in the sense that you are at a candlelite dinner in front of the fireplace. Meet up at a mall or at a coffeehouse. I can understand her wanting to see you without her husband first to avoid it being awkward. If you are meeting her husband afterwards, he obviously knows you two are meeting up, so he has to be okay with it.
Be very clear to her beforehand that you are coming clearly on a friendship level and with no ill intent. If you do arrive and her intentions are clearly NOT innocent, and she has other ideas, leave immediately. She'll be the one to have to explain why she doesn't have her friend with her when she meets up with her husband.
2007-09-17 19:12:21 · answer #2 · answered by Lunar Sarah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to move on with your life and forget about this person, you shouldn't agree to meet her alone. This will only bring back memories and emotions, and when you let your heart do the talking instead of your head, you guys could end up doing something that could ruin her marriage and your chances of meeting the woman of your life.
2007-09-17 19:14:05 · answer #3 · answered by Rachelle_of_Shangri_La 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't owe her anything.
This is just going to create problems.
Call her and tell her "you have moved on with your life. The closure happened 10 years ago....have a good life and good bye."
2007-09-17 19:55:03 · answer #4 · answered by LAL 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't meet her at all. she has stated that she's still crazy for you. you're looking for an okay here. none of it's okay. it may seem like an ego boost right now but how would you feel if you were her husband?
2007-09-17 19:21:58 · answer #5 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you really have to gain by seeing her again?
Not a whole lot, other than problems.
Take this from a "Woman"...she's hoping by you seeing her is going to start some old feelings up again.
If it were innocent, she would bring her husband.
She's not wanting to bring him for one reason and one reason only, she wants to re-kindle that "old flame" ;)
2007-09-17 19:11:47 · answer #6 · answered by MommaBear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Meet her alone, but tell her sternly that you need to meet her husband. Tell her you just don't feel comfortable with having meetings two on two, and that her husband's presence is necessary. If she doesn't understand that, you'll need to break it off.
2007-09-17 19:09:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why do women insist on that closure crap? If you aren't married then I'd go for it, who knows you might have a really good time.
2007-09-17 19:11:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
well she's married so...you dont want him to get her do you? well if you are not comfortable dont meet her alone. and if you feel like something is going to happen that you dont want dont go alone. but if you can control yourself i dont see what the problem is.
2007-09-17 19:10:23 · answer #9 · answered by shimmyshimmer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WELL I SEE WHY IT WOULDNT HURT SHE WANTS TO CLOSURE ON Y U BROKE UP AND THATS IT WE HOPE I HAVE HAD THAT SAME THING HAPPEN TO ME BUT WE STILL FEEL EACH OTHER AND HAVE FEELINGS ABD WE STILL ARE FRIENDS EVEN THOUGHWE BOTH ARE MARRIED
2007-09-17 19:11:48 · answer #10 · answered by Sheila R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋