I am five months pregnant and currently in the process of moving in with the in-laws. My husband and I will only be living there temporarily to save money for my maternity leave. (As a state employee, I do not qualify for disability. I didn’t find this out until I was already pregnant. I am the main bread-winner, and therefore we rely heavily on my paycheck). We need to save about $10,000 before the baby is born and this was the only solution we could come up with.
My in-laws are awesome people, but I know there will be moments when I feel extremely uncomfortable (especially as I enter my third trimester). My husband and I have only been married 10 months, so I still don’t feel completely at ease with them. I don't know what is going to be expected of me and I don’t want to act like an ungrateful mooch.
How can we live with my in-laws over the next few months, but maintain a sense of independence? How can we ensure that the arrangement stay amicable? Any ideas?
2007-09-17 11:23:53 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Well, it could wind up being a great help! I hope that it does for your sake. I would say don't feel guilty about having alone time with your husband, but also try to spend time with them too. Offer help around the house, cooking, grocery shopping, cleaning, whatever you feel comfortable doing. Good luck!
2007-09-17 11:39:35 · answer #1 · answered by Momma! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eeesh... dont envy you there! At least you will be able to make excuses like "Im tired, Im going to bed" even if your just watching tv, or "Im achey, might have a bath" for an hour or two! Then you can go and chill out on your own without anyone around.
Id make use of all the help they offer too, that might make up for any unwanted advice about how 20/30 years ago when they were having kids it was all so different etc etc. At least all your cooking and cleaning will be done for you and they will fetch and carry stuff fr you!
They should understand that you may be prone to mood swings and tearfulness and all that comes with being pregnant. Anything you do or say that may come accross as ungrateful could just be blamed on that!!
Hope it all goes well!
2007-09-17 11:47:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, living with your in-laws is a sure way to get to know them better lol. Just make sure you spend enough time with them in common areas like the living room and kitchen so as to not be rude, but definitely excuse yourself when you feel "tired" or "out of sorts" (ie hormonal), so you can avoid any potential problems like snapping at them. Make sure you have at least one door with a lock on it!!!! That works wonders!!!
Your in-laws have dealt with pregnancy before, they will totally understand if you wish to excuse yourself because you feel tired. Your mother in law especially understands how it feels to be pregnant! Good luck!!
2007-09-17 11:34:53 · answer #3 · answered by boots6 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I live with my In laws right now...we had to sell our house about a yr ago and we hadnt had much chance of finding a new home. I am pregnat right now as well and im due in December. You just always have to make sure that your husband keeps your intimate information and problems amongst yourselves...because if he starts sharing with his mom it all goes downhill. You always want to keep a distance between you and them. But at the same time you want to make sure that you get to know them better and be thankful for having them bring you guys into their home. If you get along with them right now trust me, when you have that baby you will truly appreciate them helping you with this baby because honey you will need it. You need to just make sure your husband keeps everything that happens between you two
2007-09-17 12:00:15 · answer #4 · answered by Thelma P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it one day at a time. You and your husband should make sure you do you share of the chores. Your mother in law has been pregnant before she knows how you feel. Just try not be a burden and don't let them impose themselves in your lives to much.
2007-09-17 11:38:30 · answer #5 · answered by Aunt Doobie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we have lived with family for years (mine, not his). The number one piece of advice I can give is NEVER fight in front of them, and NEVER involve them in any arguement you have. They may take his side out of loyalty, which will leave you the odd man out.
2007-09-17 11:38:30 · answer #6 · answered by parental unit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simply ask them what they expect of you and your husband while living with them. If it unreasonable see what you can compromise on.
2007-09-17 11:39:46 · answer #7 · answered by wag35 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
congrats on your baby
best advice do lots of praying i could not ever live with my in-laws your a stong lady
2007-09-17 11:38:47 · answer #8 · answered by Becky T 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋