Is it possible for someone to borrow money and not pay it back but still be a good friend?

Question

Is it possible for someone to borrow money and not pay it back... but still have good intentions? This girl used me on about $1500 and didn't pay me back for a long time until I had to pretty much call her a user and tell her shes taking advantage of me before she started paying. Now the relationship is really bad. Why should it take that much drama to get money back? Anyone have similar stories?

Are they really bad people or do they just need some help with money management? Anyone have any cases like this?

I kind of want my friend back but we had a falling out over $1500 she borrowed and treated me like **** when I try to get paid back. She was always nice before and after the loan.. but uhg i just can't stand how it changed things. Any advice on getting my friend back? Do I really have to let go of money?

Answer 1

I think you can forgive her and try to be friends, but don't lend her money ever again. And be cautious before you lend it to anyone else too, some people aren't reliable that way. She may not be reliable and everyone has issues but she can still be a good friend.

Answer 2

I think there are just really bad people out there! An old friend of my husbands borrowed $300 from us 3 years ago and has yet to pay us back! Needless to say, my husband won't have anything to do with him and everytime he sees him, he asks when he's going to pay our money back. He's a prime example of a user!

As far as being friends, it's really up to you! If you want to continue being that person's friend, don't let the $1500 bother you.. but I don't know many people (including myself) who can forget about $1500 much less $300!!!

Good luck!

Answer 3

I think it depends on the circumstances. A similar thing happened to me but I realised my friend really wasn't in a position to pay the money back.
We are still very good friends and I would hope that the money would eventually be paid back. I know my friend doesn't feel good about the loan being outstanding for such a long time. I suppose I'm one of those people who hopes that if I've done a good deed it will be repaid in some way in the future.

Answer 4

It is possible to lend a friend money and stay friends. You just have to know what you're getting into.

It all depends on why they're borrowing money in the first place. If she'd been in good shape, but a large unexpected expense arose (her car needed a fix, etc.), it's likely that she'd pay you back.

But if she had credit trouble and the $1,500 was a quick fix (which I think it probably was) then it's unlikely you'd get paid back, because, like you said, she probably has issues with money management.

A good rule of thumb is not to lend money to friends if you want to be paid back. Just have realistic expectations. I know that when I lend my sister money, I probably won't get paid back. Knowing this allows us to continue our friendship. If it's a friend that needs money I just have to ask myself why they need this money and determine the likelihood that I'll be paid back. Unless it's my sister, I want to be paid back, therefore, I've never lent money to a friend.

Answer 5

I have a very simple rule for deciding whether to loan money - I only make the loan if I don't care if I ever see the money again.

Think about it. With rare exceptions, the only people who ask for loans are those who have shown themselves to be unable to live within their means. For them it would be a major accomplishment just to break even every month, let alone have enough left over to repay a personal loan.

Nor is your experience of being treated badly at all unusual. People who owe you money, and either can't or won't repay you, are hardly likely to enjoy seeing you and being reminded of their debt. It would be a lot more convenient for them if you would simply go away.

Answer 6

Sounds like you didn't REALLY know her in the first place.
If you're going to borrow money from friends ALWAYS pay it back promptly, and if you can't, talk to the person and make some form of payments.
You said "used" and I think you hit the nail on the head.
What a good friend you are to loan money to a friend. What a bad friend she is for not even attempting to pay it back.
Tisk, tisk....

Answer 7

Call your local Clerk of Court and ask them to tell you now to file a claim in Small Claims Court.

Even if it costs you $200 for the court (it could be lower). The court will order her to pay. If she doesn't show up, they will put out a warrant for her arrest. And she will end up having to pay on top of that.

You might even get the judge to force her to pay your court costs too.

Maybe you've got a lot of money, and it doesn't really bother you about the amount you lost just the fact that you were used. I don't know.

But if you need the $, forget about her fake friendship, and take her to court. You don't need a "friend" like this. There are many fish in the sea. If she got mad at you for asking for the money back, face reality that she is NOT a friend, just a USER! Please grow so cajones and move on.

Best of luck to you.

Answer 8

Money and friendship never mix. Money almost always ruins friendships. I never borrow money from friends and none of them ever ask me for money.

I'd rather treat someone out for a night, buy them a present, give them cash, rather than loan them cash. Loaning cash has ruined many friendships.

Answer 9

It is not possible for someone to BORROW anything and still be a good friend. You can GIVE money to friends, but lending ruins the relationship.

Answer 10

Its her fault and she should realize shes responsible for paying you back.be honest say I miss you as a freidn we have always been close..Im sorry the money situation has come between us.I appreciate the fact you are making effort to pay me back.