Have you ever truly forgiven someone for something?

Question

I mean something that really hurt you...but you found a way to really forgive that person?

These are wonderful answers...thank you all.

I am wondering now if forgiveness is something to release us from our angst...or it is a genuine releasing of another from guilt?

Answer 1

yes, and once you do it for real, you discover that it's for you, not the person you are forgiving - it sets you free from bitterness and hurt!
After that first time, it comes easier.

Answer 2

Yes. Forgiveness is withholding hatred even (especially) when it is "deserved". One forgives only something wrong that has been done. It isn't the same as condoning, exonerating, or forgetting. It is a conscious and difficult decision not to hate someone who has done something hurtful and wrong, and the hurt and wrong don't disappear because of the forgiveness. The wrong thing remains wrong throughout. And this is why forgiveness is a miracle, why it is so hard, and why it is so necessary to human harmony. Because we all make mistakes, and without forgiveness, we'd be at each others' throats all the time.
___Time helps with the hurt, but doesn't solve the problem of forgiveness.
___And as someone said above, it doesn't mean that you have to keep hanging out with someone. It doesn't necessarily mean, for a society, that one withholds consequences, though it certainly is a good companion to mercy, and vice versa.
___If you can't handle the rough edges, then you can't call it forgiveness. After all, if forgiveness didn't have any rough edges, it wouldn't work as a means to deal with the rough edges of human wrongs.
___Authentic toleration has some rough edges, too, but that's another story.

Answer 3

I would love to be able to forgive, but i don't seem to have the knack for it! Even if i'm no longer particularly angry with the person about it. I'll say i forgive them and we will carry on as normal but it still comes back and upsets me on occasions when i'm feeling particularly vulnerable. Thus making me angry with them again for a short while before forgetting about it again... And if they've hurt me to the extent that we are no longer able to continue a friendship or whatever, then i will never let go of that grudge... very unhealthy. I think part of it could be the depression i have suffered with for a couple of years, but also i think, some people are just like this for no particular reason!

Answer 4

I've been extremely hurt by a close friend on more than one occassion. We are still good friends and I don't ever wish her any kind of harm but from the first really serious thing she did to me and the hurt it caused I would be telling lies to say I am not still a little bit wary. With what she has done a few times I tend to be sort of walking on eggshells when with her but I also have had to accept that with two people they don't always put in 50% each to make the friendship solid.

Answer 5

Not straight away, as being hurt can sometimes make you not being able to think straight. After a while I put myself in that person's shoes and realise that I'm not perfect and I'm capable of making a mistake the same as the next person. That person may have done what he/she has done on purpose, may not, but for my own sanity I have to forgive them and put it down to experience. As not forgiving someone only hurt you more and in some cases can make bitter and twisted.

Answer 6

Of course, sometimes you have to forgive for your own sake. Holding grudges is hard on the heart, and makes for a bitter and lonely life.

I admit, for me forgiveness is more about letting go for myself, and for releasing the other person of any obligation/guilt.

Answer 7

Yes. I have had some people do some pretty horrible things to me in my life (most of them family) and when you look at the big picture you just have to realize that it is kinda pointless to hold grudges because karma always comes back so I always just let the natural order of the universe do what it does. And pray for those people it will make you feel better! Good Luck!

Answer 8

I've forgiven all the people who bullied me in the past. I mean I still think about it sometimes but I think generally I have forgiven them. Maybe the next step is not to think about it.
This one guy really hurt me recently and I keep telling him over and over again how much he hurt me which is not good and I think I need to let go of it.

Answer 9

I can forgive people and have, but that doesn't mean I have to have anything more to do with them either, case by case of course though. I have forgiven someone who was incredibly deceitful, disrespectful, and took advantage of my kindness, but to protect myself further I have not had anything to do with them since. Not to mention there is a difference between forgiving someone and liking them, you don't have to like them anymore to forgive them.

Answer 10

Yes, it is the only way to be truly free of the burden of the grudge, it eats away at you more than the person who hurt you. You have to in order to rid yourself and your soul of the negative energy. That negative energy is what slowly breaks your body down, and hell if I'm going to get sick because of someone who has no manners!

Answer 11

...I believe almost anything can be forgiven, ...but for me, the only thing i would never forgive , is if my man cheated on me, for me, there is no making up for that. Later in time, i may technically "forgive him"..............but of course i wouldnt be with him, ....so the forgiving may just come from the fact that .....as time passes and feelings go away, ...it may be that i just couldnt care less anymore................
....so i guess there are different levels of forgivenss, and all situations are different.