Feeling guilty about decisions you made (said, done) in the past?

Question

Have ever had this feeling that when you look at the past and you remember things that you've done or said that makes you feel guilty?

For example you remember something you said or something stupid you've done and you tell yourself why you did it? Or why didn't I do this instead of that? Or what if the person is mad at me because of what I said or done? Or what is the person thinking now?

It happens to me a lot and I just want to erase that memory, because I know I can't go back in time. What do you think I should do so I don't feel guilty?

And forgot to say: Thank you

Yeah, I'll always try to learn for it, but it also takes a long time before that feeling goes away... Sometimes it's not my fault, but I'm afraid I was misinterpreted.

In some cases the problem is that I'm not even sure if he/she remembers, and I certainly don't like to bring the subject on again. I can make it up to people and make them forget, but for myself it takes a long time!

Answer 1

I get this feeling sometimes too. The way I look at it is: People can't be judged just by the negative things they have done or said. For me to judge another person only by negative stuff, I would be missing the whole picture. Maybe it's easier to forgive others than ourselves sometimes...But nobody deserves do be evaluated solely on their regrets because we are more than that. I know it's not easy but try not to overanalyze it; you are not defined by that negative moment.

Answer 2

If it's a situation where you can apologize to the person you hurt, that may help. Admitting you were wrong does not make you weak. Also, the fact that you are able to feel bad for some things you've done wrong shows you're growing and becoming a better person :)

Don't be so hard on yourself! You'll have to forgive yourself before you can move on take it as a lesson learned.

Answer 3

It's only natural to feel like that but everyone makes mistakes, maybe it was from lack of experience or something else but the main thing is you did your best.
I always do something wrong and then feel guilty about it and it's so frustrating. Like I know how you feel. I always go back in the past and analyse things and ponder why I did that and could I have done any better but there's really no point. You only can focus on doing better in the future.

Answer 4

I think everyone, excluding the truly psychotic, have done things they regret. I tend to beat myself up about things for a long, long time. At some point, we must realize we are only human and let it go.

When you start thinking about something, just tell yourself no and think about something you enjoy. That works for me until I am able to say to myself, okay, you made a mistake but how you handle it is the important part. No one is perfect so you can either accept the mistake and move on or continue making the same mistake over and over.

I am not a fan of failure so I choose not to make the same mistakes again.

Answer 5

I know how you feel. I guess what I try to do is use it as a learning lesson and not make those mistakes or say things like that again. Don't beat yourself up over it forever, just remember it and how it made you feel and learn from it. I think about things that I have done and said on a daily basis, I guess you need to forgive yourself

Answer 6

Here is a practice that I do that helps that.

When I am in bed at night, before I go to sleep, I start a ritual of wishing (or praying if you wish) people well.

I just go down the list of contacts that I have had for that day, especially the unpleasant ones, and wish that they will have a good life will not be bothered by our contact, etc..

I really try and overlook what ever caused me to judge or be unhappy with that person, and pray for their welfare.

I find that if I do this genuinely, it resets my guilt log.

I find that it matters more what I think of them, than what they may think of me.

Answer 7

This is your punishment for doing people wrong. It's called Karma and you will have to live with it forever. Just be right and don't add anymore guilt to yourself

Answer 8

It´s the human condition.

Answer 9

I regret not realizing my high school sweetheart was the one until I had wrecked our relationship.