Your question is 'big' - in that it has 'a number' of answers to it from a number of directions.
There are 'Counsellors' and then there are 'counsellors.' Like any other human beings, no two are there same ~ though you can meet one who reminds you of or resembles another.
My initial instincts were to avoid 'helpers' as a child because I saw that (on the whole) the ones I met (in my role of one in 'need of help') were those who hid their problems (or hid from them) by involving themselves in others with problems.
It’s a great place to his and once, 'Social Workers' were terrible for this. [ I've had no contact with them in years now, but measures for catching them are in place now. ]
Counselling is much like tightrope walking and not easy to explain ~ being that it's composed of a balance between the compassionate and dispassionate ~ wherein the meet the client on his / her level and understand the client experience, while on the other hand, to be (as it were) Above the client and to be on a place where the ability to keep a balance is paramount in order to be effective for the client.
If you are 'sucked in' ~ become too close to the client and allow yourself to be responsive to the same hurts as the client, then the counsellor is in danger of being ineffectual in their role ~ which is NOT what the client is paying for.
At the same time, the counsellor has to be protective of their Self as well as holding a major responsibility for the welfare of the client ~ a tricky balancing act of a duel role.
I’ve met a lot of ‘helpers’ (and this I use for Psychiatric nurses, councillors, psychiatrists, social workers etc) of whom many are there because they have a desire to ’help people who are distressed,’ and others who are there because there is a degree of Power or Authority through their work. Then again, there are others whom are there because the work they do keeps them grounded, it keeps them reminded of who they are and that through the work they do can they be effective and be experienced as such.
Through Others they can help themselves and so help others in that process ~ its like the one hand washing the other.
The client / counsellor process ought not to be simply One Sided, Each client brings to the session their self and their life experiences from which the counsellor is going to be privy to and can learn from ~ and the client unknowingly is there to teach.
Each client and each session is in their selves, a goldmine of potential from which at the end, both can leave with an exchange of experiences.
The counsellor can express the affirmations that the both the client needs in order to sustain their self and as a part of the balancing healing process ~ though quite Why you say > the counseller gives this person with shattered self esteem a list of affirmations its quite a harrowing dissapointment <
> love and care are what really enables a person to grow and develop. <
This statement, from my perspective, is not solely so when it is (in general terms) an Adult that arrives as the client. There are other elements which are sources for the development and growth as human beings who are able to sustain their selves in life and within their relationships.
There have been many, many, instances of where ‘psychiatric’ help or intervention has not actually ‘help’ a person, but in fact has exacerbated the situation the person has found their selves in. I have met psychiatrists I really would NOT like to put either myself in the cold hands of, nor ask to take care of my dog. On the other hand, I’ve met thee most amazing and charismatic individuals who do amazing work in awful circumstances that I couldn’t have faced doing.
As in any other area of life, there are those Doctors who like Harold Shipman, in there for their own reasons, and others (one Paediatrician from St Thomas’s in London) I’ve known of who’d turn up on a ward (from home) just to see how ‘one patient’ is doing, and then go around looking in on the rest ~ at 02:30 on a Saturday night Sunday morning ~ and with his girlfriend in tow too.
While the Counsellor has the dual responsibility for taking care of their Self and the Client, so to has the client the responsibility for taking care of their self. Clients are perfectly entitled to stand up for their selves and say ‘I don’t understand’ or ‘I don’t like the way this is going….’ And if needs be, to leave.
I hope that this has helped you in some way.
Regards
Sash.
2007-09-18 08:01:12
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answer #1
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answered by sashtou 7
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It sounds like you are describing a personal experience and if so, I'm sorry it wasn't helpful. If you experience was with a psychologist, I can assure you that their decision to go in this field was not an easy one and certainly not something done for the credentials. The training is long and hard and their are much easier ways to get credentials. Unfortunately, there is not one type of therapeutic technique or style that is best for everybody. Often times it is a trial and error process of finding somebody that matches up well with your style and needs. Above all, it should be somebody you feel comfortable with and somebody you trust.
That said, it doesn't always mean that they are going to be overtly loving or encouraging. It depends a lot on the problem presented. If that was all it took, psychotherapy wouldn't be necessary. Problems can be very confusing and complicated and the therapist needs to be concerned with not only, what happened, but why it happened.
Of course, there are egotistical people working in every profession. Psychotherapy is no exception. But I would like to urge you (with care and encouragement), not give up hope.
When you find the right one, it can make all the difference in the world. Good luck!
2007-09-17 09:16:40
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answer #2
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answered by ? 6
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You have just raised a question some don't even dare think about. Therapy and counselling, although it has its great benefits, same as you, I often wonder if its does more damage than good.
There is no denying that therapists and psychiatrists do a fine job in some areas, but sometimes it can be so impersonal. I do understand that they should not get emotional evolved with clients, as some end up getting emotionally attached, but still does not mean that they have to behave like robots.
2007-09-17 09:22:13
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answer #3
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answered by soraya 4
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You know, they are people just like everyone else. Just because they are a therapist doesn't automatically make them "caring" individuals. Some people, in all walks of life, can't leave their egos at the door when they get to work. That is essential when dealing with the emotions, feelings and thoughts of another individual who is trusting you as a confidant. You know, they are like shoes, you keep trying them on until you find the pair that is cute and fits, then you buy them. If you're not getting the "therapy" you need, you have the right to go to another counsellor. You're not obligated to stay with someone just because you started with them. Please don't think that way, it is self-destructive. Find someone you feel comfortable with, you will know empathy when you see it. This person is distracted and isn't giving you what YOU need. Good luck to you.
2007-09-17 12:38:32
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answer #4
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answered by Hot Coco Puff 7
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If you consider that the Moon placement is significant to emotions, having Moon in an Air sign can very much make someone unemotional, at least in a reactive way. The Mars should probably be looked at too, but for the most part, an Air moon will tend to analyze and seek out the root of a problem, whereas other signs in the Moon will be more reactive, dramatic, or stoic. Venus rising is right about Lunar Aquarians. I am one, and I'm pretty tough, emotionally.
2016-05-17 06:23:29
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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I think you get egotisim in any industry. Like the businessperson giving to charity. Is it really for those little Negro Kiddies in Africa or a PR stunt? The bottom line any gd should not be snorted at even if someone is being egotistical. So what it is better than saying 'go on then just kill yourself you pathetic example of human being.' Therapy is proven to work in most cases so until something better comes along we have to make do with the egos. Personally in my experience therapy aided me as I was ready to do the biggest rush of all but chickened out. To me it did go cold at the end, yes I feel that but to me the coldness was only because I was ready to move on. To me therapy aided as he told me why it was, why everything had gone wrong, why I felt soo much pain & how to get out of it. I do agree therapy only touches on a sceintific level not on an emotional level. I think 4 the emotional level there is religion & beautiful strangers.
2007-09-17 09:09:10
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answer #6
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answered by A . Z . 3
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I find counselling a very frustrating experience because you know that your counsellor is just doing their job, would rather be playing golf and is wondering what to cook for their dinner :-/
My doctor keeps encouraging me to go back, but I feel that so much has happened in my life that no amount of talking is ever going to change anything.
Attempts to re-programme me (thru cognitive behavioural therapy) just makes me feel invalidated and worthless. I am who I am because of what's occurred throughout my life.
I'd rather go and see a friend and talk over coffee than see some counsellor!
2007-09-17 10:04:13
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answer #7
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answered by Anonymous
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Yes, it can be very cold and clinical, but then you just have to find the right therapist. BTW, a therapist's job is not to hug and sooth you like your long lost momma - they are there to help you work through your issues. They have a fine line to walk.
2007-09-17 08:55:29
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answer #8
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answered by ♥ тнє σяιgιиαℓ gιяℓfяι∂αу ♥ 7
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