If he is 40 and I'm 40, am I to old for him? I once read that the ideal age of a woman is 15 years younger

Question

than the man. Agree? Disagree? Don't most men leave their wives and remarry younger?
If you are 40 and still not married to him, how long do you wait? Do you know how stupid it sounds to be 40 and still be saying, "my boyfriend" Makes me feel like I'm 14 and dating.

I'm not going to call him, "my freind" he is not my friend. When he comes back from his 2nd deployment we will have been together about 4 years. We have both been married once before and neither of us have children. Did I mention we're 40 not 20. You get no respect from others in the community when your not "a wife".

Answer 1

I think you have two issues here. First, men in loving relationships typically don't leave their wives and marry someone younger. When that happens there are other reasons to leave relationship. So, I don't think men tend to find their ideal woman to be 15 years younger than them. I'm a year younger than my husband and my parents are the same age.

Second, how long have you been dating? How long you are willing to wait for a proposal before you bail on a relationship is a personal decision. I waited for 6 years for a marriage proposal, but I was 25. I know I made the right decision and my husband was without question worth waiting for. But had I been 40, I'm not sure I could say I would have waited. But like I said, you have to decide how long is too long for you.

You need to have a honest talk with your boyfriend. What are his intentions? Do you both want the same things out of your future? These are important questions. The fact that you asked both of these questions leads me to think you probably have some major soul searching to do about this man and this relationship. I can't tell you what's right for you, but I can tell you it is a waste of time to stay in a relationship that isn't fulfilling. If you aren't falling into that category, find someone else.

Answer 2

I'm 52 and she's 55, we're both as happy as two people can be with each other. The last two relationships I had were with women who were both 12 younger than me and neither one of them worked out. I would start talking about things that happened when I was a kid and get a blank stare response because it was something that happened before they were born or when they were still babies.

Most men who leave their wives for younger women do so because they're trying to recapture their youth, twenty year olds look a lot more like cheer leaders than 36 year olds. The reality of the situation is that age is just a number, you are only as young or old as you feel. The trick is being young at heart regardless of your age or his age....

Answer 3

What would you have in common with a man who is 15 years younger than you? What would you talk about?

So no, you're not too old for him. If he likes and respects you for who you are, age really doesn't matter, but you're not at a disadvantage simply because you're the same age. Quite the contrary, I think you'd have a leg up on the younger competition since you've both lived through the same experiences.

Guys who chase after younger women are shallow and don't deserve a mature relationship.

Answer 4

There is no ideal age. There is a question on yahoo about a 44 year old man who is having a continuous affair on his beautiful 24 year old. There are tons of reasons why men leave their wives. Usually, age is the last thing on the list! So, don't worry.

Answer 5

It shouldn't matter to you what others think. Thats not fair to your relationship. You may want to just talk to him and let him know how you feel. But do know this, you could wind of scaring him off! A lot of men want to be the ones that talk about marriage, not have their women mention it. There is no time line, and he may be looking at it this way, he was married before and that didn't work out. He may just not be ready, don't pressure him.

Answer 6

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Answer 7

No. I disagree. Good marriages have little to do with age. I have been married to the same person for 21 years and have no desire to leave her to marry someone 15 years younger than me.

Answer 8

15 years younger? That's totally gross. So you're telling me that at 25, I should be dating some 40-year-old middle aged single loser? Whatever! Age is just a number, but there is no "right" age gap, especially one this large.

Answer 9

Every person matures at a different rate. Guys usually mature slower. So it makes sense that a guy marries a girl younger cause they are the same maturity level.

But if you are immature for your age and he is mature for his then you might be a perfect match.

Everyone is different. I met a girl who was 23 and she acted like a 45 yo.

Answer 10

Lots of couples who are the same age get married (think highschool sweethearts), and 40 y.o. with 25 y.o. girlfriends look like they are getting arm candy to deal with a midlife crisis. That being said, marry the person who you love and are compatible with, regardless of age (legal issues not withstanding).
I agree boyfriend/girlfriend sounds a bit immature; use "partner."