We are comfortable financially, no debts other than the house and could comfortably afford it. What should I do. Should I forget about the idea or keep trying to persuade him. The reason he gives for not wanting any more is that our children are older now and it wouldn't be fair on them.
2007-09-17 06:56:51 · 23 answers · asked by Thunderdog 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have no intention of getting pregnant by accident. That is very wrong. I am not nearing 40, nor do I have anything missing in my life. I just don't feel my family is complete yet. We can financially afford it, recieve no state benefits, no tax credits only child benefit.
2007-09-18 07:10:49 · update #1
you need to sit down with him and have a real heart to heart chat! Make sure you're not getting him as he's just come in from work or when he's tired! You need to go through the pros and cons with him and also really listen to his reasons for not wanting them. Is he upset that his nice family life will change incredibly especially as it's 7yrs since last having a baby! I think maybe it's an excuse he's using saying the kids are older now & it wouldn't be fair. My workmate just had a baby girl 6 months ago & her 2 teenage boys who were originally very reserved, grumpy & just...well teenage like... became the best brothers in the world! They dote on their little sister & I'm sure your 2 would be the same! Whatever you do...do NOT get pregnant 'accidentally' - that will sound the death knell on your happy home! He will never trust you again!
Talking is the absolute key - don't pressure him & hopefully he will come round to the idea! Good luck!
2007-09-17 07:05:42 · answer #1 · answered by naomi a 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
There's no right or wrong answer on whether you should or you should not have another child. What matters is that you are both in agreement on the answer, right now that is not the case.
You need to work out why you feel the need for another child - what exactly is missing from your life and are you certain that another child is the only answer? He needs to work out why he is against the idea - saying it would not be fair on the other two children is a bit of a cop out - how does he know what they think? I think there is more to this than he is saying.
Only once the two of you sit and discuss this sensibly can you know whether you should have another one.
2007-09-17 08:38:08 · answer #2 · answered by cobweb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I may be a bit biased because I don't want children but I'm more adamant about not forcing someone you love to do something that they don't want to do. Imagine if it were the other way around- imagine that you didn't want kids and he was trying to push it on you. It's just not fair. I understand that there may not be a compromise when it comes to this but it should be discussed not by what you want, but by the effect it would have in the future. Maybe you could try something less impactful, like a puppy.
2007-09-17 07:05:10 · answer #3 · answered by Joanna 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
look pal, some Christians take that previous college strategies-set and *tsk tsk* homosexuality. yet a minimum of we are no longer interior the Muslim international the place they torture and execute people who've in basic terms finished that act as quickly as - would or won't additionally be gay. The Muslim international is spreading and you should comprehend this. Iran was like Canada or usa of america the place the girls individuals could placed on skirts, bars performed extensive-unfold song, till the previous due Seventies while an Islamic political party became into voted in. And interior the 21st century they have accomplished 2 teenage boys who commited gay acts with one yet another (one became into under the age of 18). Direct your question in direction of the Muslims and see what they might desire to declare.
2016-11-14 17:02:23 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is a naff excuse find out the real reason, i wanted another 4 years ago but now it would be the end of the world to find out i was expecting again now both of mine are at school full time i have time for me, peace and quiet no dirty nappies and i went to college last year and really really enjoyed it, i couldn't have done that with a baby round my neck. ask yourself why do you want another baby is it because you are fast approaching 40 and your clock is ticking and you think now is your last chance ?? you need to examine why you want one and he doesn't and try to find some common ground. if you still want one and he doesn't in 6 months time you will have to consider can you live with your husband if he stops you from having more ?? i would say you need to have a very frank discussion, dont try and trick him it could backfire badly. good luck xx
2007-09-17 07:09:47 · answer #5 · answered by Dolly 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesnt matter why he doesnt want it though I think the real reason is that a baby is going to be demanding on him and you more than the other children. He is comfortable with how things are now and he doesnt want that ruined.
I think you should really think about this. If you have it against his will you could be jeapordizing your marriage.
I've known a few mothers who kept having babies to avoid intimacy with their husbands. He might be afraid that is what will happen.
2007-09-17 07:07:55 · answer #6 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, there is some truth to it, their at an age where you can do things with them and start their life training for adult hood. and a baby would on a whole, take you out of the picture.
2007-09-17 07:04:37 · answer #7 · answered by fuzzykitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should give it up....it wouldn't be fair to a baby to bring it into the world in a situation in which the Daddy wasn't on board....think of the baby, not yourself.
2007-09-17 08:25:40 · answer #8 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can keep talking about it but my opinion is that when two people have differing opinions, the one who says "no" wins.
You do not give any reasons why this is important to you. So, give it your best shot, that is being truthful and honest with yourself and then with him. Why is this SO important that you want to nag him?
2007-09-17 07:16:18 · answer #9 · answered by Wolfithius 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,he has a point also if you have another child it may feel left out.mind think your older 2 would spoil a baby.I would try to work your magic.Good Luck
2007-09-17 07:01:44 · answer #10 · answered by Ollie 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋