Okay - here's a long story as quick as possible;
- We just had a baby
-We've fought for 5 years, been married 3
- The pregnancy was hell
-I've been raising his children as my own for 5 years (their bio mom is a complete loser and he "Says" he hates her for all the BS she's put us through
- We are currently separated.
Okay, he left me alone to go off an play at the lake the DAY BEFORE I had to be induced (he went up while his ex was up visiting her kids - we PAID for her trip up!). The day after I bring our daughter home - he leaves AGAIN to go up there and this time his ex and a woman he was talking to behind my back was there.
I forgave, then I found 2 pic messages sent to the same number, on two different days. It was a pic of his d*ck. He said it was supposed to go to me, but HOW do you make the same mistake twice like that??? Is it just me, or is he filling me full of it??
Now he's BEGGING me to stay. What's your thoughts??
2007-09-17 05:10:56 · 23 answers · asked by boz4425 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
And yes, Rebecca, I've given plenty of thought about the children. I don't want to put them through any more crap and if being divorced would be better for my daughter and his kids all the way around then that's what I'm for - I can be mature in the parenting - he can't. And in a marriage - it IS about the couple first, because if the couple is screwed up, then the kids reap the consequences, if the marriage is healthy and happy, then the children will be as well. So yeah...it is about US...because without US, children wouldn't be here.
2007-09-17 05:28:51 · update #1
Should I divorce my husband? Your choice, but considering you say "We've fought for 5 years, been married 3" it sounds like you're bloomin miserable!!!
Is he cheating and lying? I'd bet my youngest daughter he is!!! (You can have her even if I'm wrong...)
2007-09-17 05:40:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
I am also in the process of filing for divorce from an alcoholic. Get involved in Al-anon and get some counselling. Alcoholics blame everything on everyone else, and do not own anything that they have done. They do not feel quilty - till they are sober -but then they hurry up and get drunk again- so that they don't have any personal hurt. My husband and I have played these back and forths long enough, and so have you, don't take his calls or emails. All it does it upset you. It is sooooo Not worth it. He needs to own his behavior - and if he doesn't - then you do not need to communicate with him. Good luck honey, you are not the only one going down this path... you just need to remove your self from his little games - I finally have, and though it hurts, since we were best friends and yes the sex was amazing - it just isn't worth the mind games. God bless you and good luck. T-
2016-05-17 05:17:03 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if he is definitely cheating on you. I agree that he has no respect for you or your children. What kind of "father" leaves his wife and unborn child the day before she is to be induced to go play at the lake with his ex? In my opinion, not a very good father. As for the pictures, I think you know that the same mistake doesn't happen twice. You know from your experience and life with him how it will be if you choose to forgive him again. If you forgive him, sit down and have a long discussion with him. Make him go through marriage counseling. But let him know this is his last chance and warning. If he lets you down again, please leave. I hate to say this, but the chances of him straightening his act up is slim to none considering his track record. But you have to do what you feel is right for you and your family. If you don't think staying will help then by all means leave. Personally, I'd leave him because once a cheater, always a cheater. I wish you all the best.
2007-09-17 05:40:15 · answer #3 · answered by Bubbles 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I would have kicked him to the curb just on the basis of the fact that he was NOT with you the day before you gave birth to the baby HE helped make ... not to mention the fact that he took off again right after!!!
No, there's something going on. I won't even go into the picture of his dick bit....THAT is too f'ed up for words.
My thoughts? Follow through on the divorce. If he's so interested in his ex and this new chick then let him have at it...but make DAMNED sure you get child support. What an ******.
2007-09-17 05:18:37 · answer #4 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I think a player will be a player until they're put to a stop.
If you are going to consider staying with him, his cell phone, email, and goings and comings need to be an open book to you, until he can earn the trust back. I think it would be really hard for me. I do not want the headache of wondering what someone is doing, where, with who, and what every second of the day. You need to consider what you want, what's best for you, and the baby, and act accordingly. The ball is no longer in his court, because he doesn't follow the rules of the game. Whether or not he gets a second chance is up to you, but I'd make sure he EARNED his way back in.
2007-09-17 05:35:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you take him back you cannot punish him. It will have to be a clean slate. You really need to figure out if you can let this go..
There are a lot of things to consider here. I would suggest that you spend sometime away from him so that you can get your head straight. Have you considered counseling? I know that it does not work for everyone, but you could try.
Good luck and make sure that you take care of yourself.
2007-09-17 05:55:43 · answer #6 · answered by Tadpoler 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is cheating. Do you want this kind of crap in your life? Do you want to put your baby girl through this? He doesn't even seem to care that he just had another baby! Save yourself the frustration and the heartache. Try to get sole custody so you and your daughter will not be put through anymore pain! if you are still in doubt, try to imagine what your future with this man will look like 1 year, 5 years 10 down the line. Do you like what you see?
2007-09-17 05:23:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
he is cheating on u and of course he is gong to beg u to stay that is until his plans with the new woman are complete. why would he send his wife a picture like that? he is telling u a story, and u need to divorce him and move on. he is not only a cheater but can't confess what he's done. he also don't care about u, any normal husband would be right there when his wife was giving birth, what kind of man behaves like this? u can tell alot about a person by their behavior. don't stay with him, let him go be with this woman, and he will get a taste of reality, and let him take care of his own kids.
2007-09-17 05:25:11 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Sounds like a cheater to me and if it is so.. you can divorce.. but check the bible first to make sure im telling you right.. Adultery
Matthew chapter 5 verse 27-32
2007-09-21 04:52:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is a lying disgusting pig! He left you to go play just before having his baby...and did it again after you came home from the hospital....when you could have used his help with the baby....because you were trying to heal....He is lying about the pic.....why would he feel the need to send YOU a pic of his d*ck in the first place...and send it to the wrong phone twice? I would leave this man....He has next to NO RESPECT for you...and he is going to do whatever he wants without any regards to your feelings.
2007-09-17 05:18:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋