My husband & I of 12 years have never been happy ones. He made me sign a prenuptial b/c his first wife cheated on him. He always told me that he knew that I didn't deserve it but I would have to suffer for what his ex-wife did to him. I had a horrible first marriage for 20 yrs married to an alcoholic and we lost everything we had. After 9 yrs married to 2nd hubby, it had been 3 years since we slept together. I met someone out of town while living w/children (I had to find work b/c I couldn't find any at home & my husband didn't want to have to pay for everything-even though he had the money) I completely left my husband at that point and had an affair for 4 mths. We were very much in love with each other. THE ONLY REASON THAT I CAME HOME WAS B/C I THOUGHT THAT IS WHAT GOD WANTED ME TO DO. My husband only works about 12 hours a week now so he can keep an eye on me. He taped my phone conversations and put a key logger on my computer. I have now separated from him & living w/sister
2007-09-17 04:10:11 · 19 answers · asked by Fredreka . 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband claims to be a Christian now, he does like to watch Christian programming and reads the bible at times but he has totally suffocated me!!! He is watching my every move and I feel like he is some kind of ROBOT MONSTER!!! I am sick of feeling like I have to suffer & suffer & suffer to be right with God!
2007-09-17 04:12:29 · update #1
It goes to show why so many never want to be Christians. The judgmental mudslinging has begun. It also states in the bible that we are not to defraud one another in the bedroom . My husband was a husband in paper only. He stopped sleeping with me for 3 years! He let me work at jobs that deteriorated my health, having to have several surgeries, when he made PLENTY of money. He made me buy everything for myself and my child that was still at home. He has not been a husband to me. And the fact is, if I had been brought up in a home that didn't have continual abuse in every area, ,maybe I would have known to not settle for these freaks! NO, I GAVE OF MYSELF CONSTANTLY TO BOTH HUSBANDS!! WHY DO YOU THINK HE WANTED ME BACK??? but also he didn't want to lose some of his precious money.
2007-09-17 04:31:33 · update #2
Get real folks...did I say that cheating was God's idea? Are the sins that we do EVERY DAY God's idea??? We make mistakes and sins every day. It is just that most of what we do is hidden except from God. So thank you everyone for your responses and time. God Bless You.
2007-09-17 04:38:16 · update #3
FOUR MONTHS, NOT FOUR YEARS
2007-09-17 04:40:01 · update #4
So funny...yes the wages of sin is death and God gave his only begotten son to die on the cross, the propitiation for our sins. And it also says in God's word, that you are W/O excuse by judging another b/c you are doing the same thing. Have you ever in your life looked upon a woman and wished that you could take her to bed? No probably not b/c you have a dill pickle up yours and most likely don't even have a sex drive b/c you are too busy throwing accusations.
Romans 2:1
You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. THERE IT IS FOLKS, RIGHT IN GOD'S OWN WORD!!!
2007-09-17 04:49:53 · update #5
At the end of the day you did cheat on him, so he was always going to be suspicious when you suddenly came home. But tapping your phone is kinda criminal! This guy might not know where to stop. Leave him totally; don't go back to him only to leave him again when the stalker thing becomes too much. It will happen and it will confuse you both even more.
As for the rest of your tangled love life; do what makes you happy. Maybe now you're free of this unharmonious marriage; you can start seeing this guy you really loved, but this time without the guilt.
2007-09-17 04:24:41 · answer #1 · answered by Ricky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You left your husband and had a four-year affair, but then you went back because you thought God wanted you to. So you're saying you went and had an affair because you thought God wanted you to have an affair? No? So what really happened is that God told you for all four of those cheating years how wrong you were being but you chose to ignore Him, until . . . what? I suspect your relationship with the other guy soured. So, since it wasn't going good with the other man, you figured, oh well, what the heck, I guess I'll listen to God now that it's convenient to listen.
Now you're paying for your transgressions. I think your husband is being a lot easier on you than God, because the Bible says, "The wages of sin is death."
2007-09-17 04:27:44 · answer #2 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure where all this use of "God" is coming from. I realize that we are ALL sinners, but it's weird when you're out bagging another man for 4 months, then you have some spiritual awakening that "God" wants you to come back home. Yet when hubby meets "God" you feel some kind of sufferage. You already broke your marital vows so why don't you go see an attorney and live in peace already. You're living a daily lie, you're not happy, you can't stand the man, there's no trust, no contentment. Need I say more?
2007-09-17 05:09:38 · answer #3 · answered by Sondra 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What the hell are you talking about? Didn't you cheat on him? Is that what god wanted you to do? Get a a divorce and never re marry. Suck it up lady. If you think that some internet group is going to be able to wave a magic wand and all of YOUR problems will go away, your delusional. We can't help you, only you can help you. BTW your the one that posted the question, your the one that brought god into the equation. Maybe you should have talked about things like work, childeren, and money before you married this guy?
2007-09-17 04:16:08 · answer #4 · answered by danzahn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i felt like i was in the Twilight Zone most of my childhood, but that isn't the point here.
You are being badly treated. The idea that "you have to suffer because of what my ex-wife did" is so offensive that there is no word i can write here- YA will censor me.
I see nothing that suggests that he has a clue about Christianity. Just because he occasionally reads the Bible and watches some Christian TV shows does not mean anything - well, almost nothing.
Focus on what you and your children need - you sound better off without him.
2007-09-17 04:20:14 · answer #5 · answered by nickipettis 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get out. You should not have had to suffer for so long because of what his ex-wife did to him. You are a totally different person. He sounds very insecure, and if that is because of his ex, then he needs therapy or nothing will ever be right for him again. Until then, you are doing the right thing by seperating from him. I am not an advocate for divorce and separation, but I am an advocate for abused women and that is what you are. You are being verbally and emotionally abused.
You deserve to be treated with respect and loved.
2007-09-17 04:21:44 · answer #6 · answered by Debi N 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Last time I checked, adultery was high on the list of Christian no-nos. Sounds like you're getting no less than you deserve. You made your bed, now accept the consequences. Perhaps if you weren't so inattentive to your husband's needs, he wouldn't be so robotic. But then, you cheated on him, so that ship has probably sailed.
2007-09-17 04:18:09 · answer #7 · answered by terry m 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello? I think it's time to do some soul searching. You seem to have some co dependent behavior going on here.
You are suffering needlessly.
Lots of information about codependency if you do a yahoo search.....
You can't depend upon the voice of God in your head.. you have to use your brain and figure out what is best for you.
Right now, you seem miserable and are being ruled by a tyrant.... he was obviously "weird" before you married him and you settled for that.
Maybe start taking care of YOU for once?
2007-09-17 04:20:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You married a man that told you that you would have to pay the price for the mistakes that his first wife made? That wasn't a wise thing to do and you are a cheater! It doesn't matter what he has done to you. Just divorce him....was never a healthy relationship from the beginning.
2007-09-17 04:21:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I vacation in the twilight zone.
2016-05-17 04:59:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋