Short story: me and my bf found out that I pregnant 3 months ago. I knew that he didn't want the baby, but we decided to continue our relationship, and he did it because he loved me so much. I just thought that time will change his position. But I know he loves me a lot. Now I'm 5 months pregnant, and yesterday he told that for some reasons he doesnt want the baby. I was crying all night, I dont know what to do, I dont have my family here, they are in other contry. I'm alone. but I know that i love this baby, i already know that its a boy, I want this baby, but I dont know if I will be able to afford it. And I still love my bf, we been together for 3 years.
Sorry for my writing, english is not my first language.
Help please
2007-09-17 04:00:15 · 26 answers · asked by solnishko 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Thanks everybody for your answers.
2007-09-17 06:51:45 · update #1
as i found out the hard way The child will love you unconditionally, you're partner can leave anytime he wants to. i am sure that financially you will work things out it will be a bit tough at first but you will get through it and your son will make each day wonderful just by him being there.
go and see a counsellor or someone that you can talk to and get everything off your chest properly, this will be someone that won't judge you and help point you in the right direction, with how to find housing andany other support you need,
i felt exactly the same as you did once upon a time and now just one look at my boys face and i know i did the right thing,
also if you and your boyfriend do split up join single mothers groups they will also be a great network of friends going through the exact same thing as you at the exact same time.
good luck with it all and i hope you can make the best decision for yourself, and whenever you feel like you cant go on look at an ultrasound picture and think of your son that should help bring happiness
2007-09-17 04:10:56 · answer #1 · answered by M 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What ever you do.......do not have an abortion.You would regret it for the rest of your life!!!!
Can you go back home to your family???
You can talk to someone about getting some government help to help you care for your baby when it's born!
I would try to have some kind of plan just in case your bf still does not want the baby even after it's born!
If he has any type of heart then he will.
Maybe he is just scared right now!
There is also always adoption, but I know it will be hard If you love the baby!
I would start making some phone calls and doing some planning if you plan on keeping this baby!
If your boyfriend is not there for you during the pregnancy, then you should kick him to the curb for good!!!!
You can do it......there are lots of single moms out there that had no choice but to be a single parent!
Good Luck!
2007-09-17 04:27:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello,
If you are 5 months pregnant, you need to consider that as a major factor. You gave your boyfriend time to come around and if he hasn't then that was the risk you took by waiting. Since you want the baby, consider you situation. If you feel you cannot afford the baby, start making changes right now to help alleviate some financial pressure. For example, enroll in school to enhance your credentials so you can eventually get a better job. Perhaps if your parents are away you can contact his parents. He may not be excited, but if they know you, they may be willing to help. Furthermore, talk to someone, find a counselor at a women's clinic and share your story. Having a baby can be scary, but if you ultimately want the baby then take responsibility for your feelings and your actions and make a way for your baby. There is still time to find a better job and save some money. Contact your local charity organizations, perhaps they may have some baby furniture and supplies to give you. Best of luck and congratulations. This guy has not allowed himself to fall in love with his baby yet. Perhaps his feelings might change after the baby is born, either way he is afraid, and so are you so find help from someone. Talk to someone about adoption if you find yourself not wanting to take care of the baby. Take care and I hope you find peace in your decisions.
2007-09-17 04:13:50 · answer #3 · answered by Sonia s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it is hard being a single mother and bf is acting a azz but this is when you step up and be all you can be. Don't even worry about him you will get through this. Now it's you and this baby you have to care about for the rest of your and it's life. I have been a single mother for 14 years and now that me and my fiance is breaking up once again I'm going to be a single parent of now 4 because we had twins. But anyway you will be a fantastic mother and provider so stop worrying. You will find someone who will love you and your child with unconditional love. Just focus on you and your baby everything will be ok. Talk to one of the groups in the hospital or a counselor. Let someone know how you are feeling and they will assist you. Trust me. Look at the site and register ask question find a baby group or organization in you home town and go from there.
2007-09-17 04:11:00 · answer #4 · answered by forrealgyrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me tell you something...neither one of you understand how amazing a child is until the day that baby pops out and you see how beautiful it is!! That baby did nothing wrong to not deserve to have a place on earth. If he doesn't want the baby that is his loss. You don't need him to help you love the baby. Almost all of my friends are single parents struggling, but guess what, they love their babies and would do anything for them. Of course you say that you can't afford it now, but if you waited to have kids until you could afford them, then nobody would have them! You find a way to afford them. I have two children, go to school full time, work a full time job, do all the laundry everyday, clean my whole house spotless evreyday and I am fine. You will do what you have to do for your baby. There is always help that you can get to help you afford the baby. Good luck and I hope that you make the right decision.
2007-09-17 04:43:34 · answer #5 · answered by BUNNY11 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry, you feel alone and your family isn't with you. My husband is from another country and when he has problems, it is hard for him too.
No one can tell you to keep or get rid of your baby. The decision is yours.
When I got pregnant, my husband was upset and wanted me to get an abortion, but ultimately he said it was my decision. Thank God...he finally got over it, and now he is great and excited.
You need to find someone to talk to. There must be people, organizations, or resources out there that can help you.
There are ways to go on with your pregancy and take care of your baby.
Even if you don't have a lot of money, your motherhood instincts will make you find ways to make due.
If he truly loved you, he wouldn't be acting like a total a****hole. I know you love him, but does he really really love you....? He should respect your decisions.
Best of luck, and remember, everything will work out fine. Go with your gut.
2007-09-17 04:13:48 · answer #6 · answered by BlueBlue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are many women in this same situation, but please don't abort or give up your baby unless it's something that YOU want to do. I also don't think that many clinics will do an abortion if you're past three or four months. I urge you to seek out a support group for single and unwed mothers, that way you can befriend women who are going through the same thing you are. Talk to your bf and see why he has suddenly changed his mind. He may just be nervous about the birth and caring for the child. Explain that this is something you will be going through together and you are terrified yourself, but you love your baby and don't want to hurt it. If he does decide to leave, take him to court and get child support, because he is still responsible for this baby. Don't make any rash decisions to please your bf because it takes two to make a baby and both parties need to step up and take responsibility. Below are some sites about parenting and support for single mothers. I hope they help you out some.
2007-09-17 04:21:33 · answer #7 · answered by ReRe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep the baby, lose the loser. It really is that simple. There are organizations out there that will help you if you can not afford to do it on your own. NEVER let a man tell you what to do with your life (and the life of a baby that you love and want). Especially if the baby is a boy...you do not want it to be raised by a man who doesn't care for it and treats women that way.
2007-09-17 04:19:04 · answer #8 · answered by kendrafer25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Somehow you will be able to afford this baby. Do not do anything you will later regret. You do not say where you live, but if you live in the United States, your boyfriend will be legally held responsible for child support, which will help you out. You will also be eligible to recieve welfare, which will help with some of the expenses, to include medical. Don't give up on yourself and the baby. Who knows, your boyfriend may change his mind once the baby has arrived.
2007-09-17 04:06:44 · answer #9 · answered by Debi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you taken him to dr appts with you? My husband had a hard time with this until he saw the baby on the sonogram and now he is completely different.
You are the only thing that baby has. Just think, you will never feel alone again because you will have your little one. Things may be tough but if he really loves you, he'll learn to accept this. And its ok to be scared - both of u -- it is natural and part of this process. You should seek counseling if you are considering doing something bad.
2007-09-17 04:15:59 · answer #10 · answered by cwrayvoa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋