I just talked with mom on phone and in the middle of an otherwise normal conversation, she says the following?

Question

"Did you get my package, I sent you a bra...because I sent your sister one, I'm sending you one too."

I'm mid 30s with a family so I wondered why it was said so adamently as if I needed the bra and wanted her confirmation that it was sent. Then she says,

"I put your graduation picture up just like I did for your sister"

Meanwhile there are 4 of us siblings all together, so if this was some sort of equality statement, why didn't she comment on sending the others something as well? Anyway, I wouldn't have even known if one got something and I didn't...and further, who cares?

My question is: What just happened here and why did that bother me?

Answer 1

This sounds like more her issue than yours. Perhaps you inadvertently (or more likely your sister ) implied at some point that she wasn't fair. Maybe she's feeling that she hasn't been fair in the past and is trying to make some sort of amends. It bothered you because it never occurred to you that she wasn't fair. Like you said, who cares?? You might want to mention this to your sister and see what she says. She might have some insight. My mother always tries to play the fair card because my sister is very unforgiving if my mother does anything for me. Even if she is doing the same thing for my sister. My mom has to keep things totally balanced
and while I understand and see what's going on, my sister really has no clue. It's to the point where my mother will say "don't mention this to your sister bla bla bla". I've never understood the whole thing because I don't have a fit if my mom does something for my sister. It's really no big deal to me. She's her daughter! I think its some kind of left over, childhood rivalry thing that I just didn't experience. Perhaps it's a birth order thing. Who knows. Just thank your mother for the nice things she does for you and maybe she'll see that this is no big deal to you. Good luck ;)

Answer 2

If you are in your mid 30's, that would put her at around in her 50's, right? She's middle aged... My mom is 46 and is showing symptoms of losing her mind already, and has been for a while now. The shock wears off and you get used to the wierdness of her aged mind.

Answer 3

I also agree with troyboy. Plus parents sometimes say things that gets on your every nerve, because you know how she is and how she always has been. If it got to you years ago, it just continue to drive you crazy. I've been going that that for years. Don't let get to you. She won't change despite you may have told thousands of times, but you can change how you take it. Let roll off you back.

Answer 4

Don't let it bother you. She is getting older and maybe she feels that she hasn't treated you and your sister equally and she wants to make up for it now. I guess that's it. If my mom did that I would just ask her. :)

Answer 5

you are worried because you think that there is something wrong with your mothers sense of reasoning not because of the topic because equality is not the issue, i hope this is not the case, good luck

Answer 6

i agree with troyboy -

what she said didn't follow logically - it didn't really make sense at all.

i think it bothers you because you are worried what she meant, and you fear it might be indicative of some brain or mental problem.

Answer 7

DON'T over-react to something that Your MOTHER did!! She is only letting you know that she was "fair".... mothers want all their children to know that they are EQUALLY loved.

be grateful that you have such a loving,caring mother. don't read into what she does; just be grateful that she is doing it!!PEACE

Answer 8

She's getting old. I guess that's the only explanation I can come up with.