Out of all the bad experiences I've had, being abused throughout my childhood has had the most unimaginable damaging effects on me. I have an older partner and sometimes I lash out at him and mentally push him away. Have any of you had any experiences like this and how did you get over it? My confidence is so, so low and I don't know how to improve it.
2007-09-17 01:58:35 · 9 answers · asked by Kristen W 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I've had a partner with these types of issues in her past, and this is not something that goes away by itself. Professional therapy is called for to keep you from making intimacy-sabotaging decisions. You owe it to yourself so that you can experience real happiness and fulfillment, otherwise your past will always be a barrier to your present and an impediment to your future. I'm sorry you've had to experience things such as these, but since you've begun asking probing questions such as these on the nature of ridding yourself of its influences, I am hopeful that you will find the means to conquer them. I wish you every good luck in this endeavor.
2007-09-17 02:18:26 · answer #1 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh girl, I feel your pain. I was abused by the very man I loved as a child, my stepfather. He raised me since I was 2 and he was the only man I knew as Daddy. That sh!t will f*&k you up mentally emotionally and physically. I felt if I could even trust my Daddy, how can I learn to trust any other man? It took me 2 long hard relationships to figure it out. Every man is not my Daddy. Every man is not out to hurt me and mistreat me. Only God can help a woman to get through that mess, trust me honey. Pray, pray and pray some more. We are a lucky few you and I. Some women have experienced that and never made it to adulthood because they may have killed themselves dealing with the pain. Most of all, love you 1st because you cant love anyone else unless you love you first. Good luck and God Bless you. If you want my number, hit me up on the email and we can talk.
2007-09-17 02:07:48 · answer #2 · answered by teri is ambience 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop being a sufferer. Your psychological recommendations-set to a relationship is understandably based on your previous stories. even however, any new guy which you presently meet won't understand this. you should stay interior the present, no longer the previous. If each and every male exchange into like your ex-husband and your father then society could be an extremely distinctive place. actual, that it is not established for different halves or daughters to be overwhelmed, maximum persons of adult males could on no account handle women human beings that way. Is it conceivable that, unconsciously, you have been attracted on your ex because of the fact he had the same skill on your father - regrettably, because it grew to become out he additionally had the same outlook to women. the factor is, you're projecting the skill of a sufferer which will charm to a predator male - for this reason you're putting your self in threat of ending up interior the same sort of relationship. to alter this, stop being the sufferer. Your psychological and skill projection desires to be greater suitable, self-helpful and helpful. via residing interior the previous you're no longer shifting forward to greater effective relationships - exchange to stay interior the 'now', the present, understand that your next considerable different would be wisely - loving, supportive and your suitable chum. Your previous stories have given you a effective present, as you presently have the skill to work out any indications and indicators of this way of male. Use this as your decrease back-up , your protection internet. Use it interior the historic past, do no longer undertaking it forward. upward push up at present, pull your shoulders decrease back and stride with a bit of luck forward - it is going to incorporate preparation. My suitable needs.
2016-11-15 10:50:20 · answer #3 · answered by oppie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can I ask why you are with "an older partner"?
Have you addressed the issues from your childhood - have you dealt with them?
As difficult as the abuse was then - and is to live with now - are you with an "older partner" because of the "safety" that type of relationship provides you? Do you only equate love with that of an older man/young girl?
These are issues that must be addressed - you need to get to the core of things before you can truly trust.
Good Luck to you - I wish you the best!
2007-09-17 02:07:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek counseling, if you haven't already done so. Look for support groups of people who have experience the same as you have gone through. Don't be afraid to talk to a counselor about these issues that bother you.
2007-09-17 02:02:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be very honest with your partner and take things very slowly (whatever is comfortable for you). If he truly loves you, then he is the best medicine to help you get over your past experiences.
2007-09-17 02:09:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I want to suggest you that don't trust anybody arround you. Being a girl it can be you are not supose to trust every one wether he is your boyfriend or others. So, try to be allert . Dont go any where with any one without full information. Befor going let your parents about this. Hope you will understand.....
2007-09-17 18:50:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry to hear that... and its brave of you to admit it here...
pls try to seek professional help so that healing can start as soon as possible... it must be tough on you... pls try to open up yourself to your partner and let him try to heal you too... i know it requires hard work and a lot of trust issues are involved. just try to be more focused on letting go of all the demons that are haunting you... when you have released all of it, you can leave a new life with your partner... pls seek for counseling.
2007-09-17 02:09:41 · answer #8 · answered by brazenlove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats crazy..hate when women have to go through that
2007-09-17 02:06:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋