I have a feeling the honeymoon is over! Help, i need some reassurance? My b/f and i went on a trip..?

Question

I had been plannin to talk to him about some things that were bothering for a bit now, but decided to wait till our trip was over so that he could just enjoy his time with friends & family, but we ended up getting into a heated discussion & well..its didnt go to smoothly, and i have no idea what to do or think right now..our probelm?
lack of communication, not necceassarliy talking on a reg basis, but when i try to reslove issues or discuss something that bothers me, he shuts down! i know thats supposed to be the typical guy thing to do..but geez! As soon as i approach the problem he stops talking [his reasoning for that is that he hates fighting so just lets me talk] But doesnt feedback or anything, and in my eyes it makes me feel like he could care less what happenes to us, yes he hads his annoying habits, and is impossible to talk to, but i love him to death, and the only reason i bring up anything at all is so we can works things out and work be together..does he truly care

Answer 1

Tell him you're not looking to fight. Tell him that you just want to calmly discuss something that's been on your mind. Try not to make a big deal out of it. That's the one sure way to make a guy clam up. Guys think like this: Is there a problem? What is it? OK, so you want me to fix it? You see, most guys don't really understand that we just need to talk things out. They think that if there's a problem, that we're coming to them so they can "fix" it. Maybe he just doesn't know how to "fix" said problem. Now, having said that, if he STILL doesn't show you some respect by at least TRYING to listen and understand what you're telling him, then....
:))Kick his @$$ to the curb ASAP, cuz he's NEVER gonna "get" it! You'd be beating a dead horse. Hopefully, he will be more receptive though. At least I hope he will be, because obviously, you love him. :)

Answer 2

I do exactly what your b/f does when someone wants to "talk." Truthfully he shuts down because he feels you are being too aggressive and that things will escalate into a full fight. Next time try giving him room. Tell him when he is ready you would like to talk about something and let him know what is on your mind without putting him on the spot light. Then when he's ready, he'll bring the subject up. Also write him a letter how you feel. Put the good with the bad without being too overbearing. Let him have a chance to think about things and figure out a solution.

Answer 3

You have to pick your battles, otherwise men just look at us as a nag. If he's not a good communicator, you need to stay calm and ask him a question. Do not say a word until he answers that question. Even if it's 10 minutes of silence. Once he answers, wait to respond and see if he elaborates. You have to be patient to communicate with men who are not confrontational. Trust me these men are the best kind. Just take it nice and slow. But when you go out to dinner or on vacation and you tell yourself your not going to bring something up so you can have great memories, then Stick To It! Very important. You've got to have good memories or the relationship won't last.

Answer 4

You probably need to catch him when he is most likely to talk to you. Pick a time when he is in a good mood and has a good chunk of free time. Before you do this, sit down and think about your approach. Review what you want to say. Make sure that what you say and how you say it is not worded in a way that will put him on the defensive right away. Never make accusations, and never say - "You never..." or "You always..." Set rules to your discussion, tell him that he can say whatever he wants, and you will not walk away or yell, that you will let him continue until he is finished, and you expect the same from him.

Answer 5

The trip may have been very relaxing and fun. Now you have seen him at his most intimate and "open level." It is NEVER necessary to argue with another person for any reason. I personally am too grown for this sort of mess. You will need to give him "some space" to realize how valuable you are. If I were you, I wouldn't give him any idea of what I was doing. You know that "absence makes the heart grow fonder." On that premise, try it and see how it works out for you. I wish you well. Peace, Love and God Bless.

Answer 6

There is only one way to find out. Tell him that you feel the relationship can not progress unless you start communicating as a couple. Tell him that if he does not give it a try, you will not be able to see him any longer. If he really loves you, he will try to be more cooperative. If he doesn't try, then the relationship doesn't have a chance anyway.

Answer 7

as for me, you dont have to wait 'till your trip is over. tonight before going to bed nor sleep, start discussing to him whats bothering you. explain to him that you don't want to end the day having misunderstood you. if he doesn't want to speak, at least you have shared yours!and before you'll end up your discussion don't forget to tell him those words -"iloveyou" in that case, i am sure he''ll realize everything.
in the morning don't forget to wake up early and cook for breakfast for him. and act as normal as if nothing happened last night!!!

hope this could help...

Answer 8

tell him this b like listen i know u dont wanna fight but thats not my intentions just b like i need feedback or i cant do this ur right guys do shut down and dont show emotion and it can b annoying as hell lolz but u just have to tell him that u need communication for u 2 to work

Answer 9

Probably should cut your losses and find someone who knows how to communicate. Call me.