I wear my whole open self on my sleeve. How do I stop?

Question

I'm an open person. I open really easily and I think it's what attracts people to me. Thing is though, i don't have much of a "guard" and I tolerate a lot of things I don't initially like when some of my friends downput me/insult even if it's just a playing joke (but wrong timing for me) and in other situations as well. I tend to open up really easily and I think it makes people feel like they can be open with me all the way. But I'm learning initially I kind of take things personally and I might be somewhat sort of sensitive. I don't like to tolerate some things but then I don't want to "pounce" on people because then I feel like I don't have much to gain by doing that.
How do I stop "wearing myself on my sleeve"? Why do I do this and can someone just generally explain this?

Answer 1

Firstly, I think this is a very nice quality and will help you in relationships to get close to people. It makes you a truthful person which attracts the good, the bad and the ugly.

Sometimes you'll probably NOT want to put your stuff out there and have it torn to pieces by almost strangers. I think brkshandila's suggestion was good. Use humor to deflect things and also to kind of soft pedal your own expressions that might better be left unsaid with people you don't know very well.

Imagine yourself with this shield around yourself that will deflect the slings and arrows of others. This actually helps.

Answer 2

The only practical way is to learn to go 'sleeveless' as and when required.I often meet people who claim to be outspoken and frank but have negligible tolerance for negative remarks about themselves.It's a contradiction ie you expect people to bear with your remarks but have no tolerance for similar situation.Another tip is to be tactful and make least number of definitive comments or remarks.Like,if after a narrative,somebody says that,'John( a common friend) is an idiot,just smile,or say,is it so,or any thing non affirmative.It's good to be open minded than open mouthed.

Answer 3

The expression is "wearing your heart on your sleeve" unless you're actually lying naked on your shirt. Put some clothes on before you get arrested.