Inspired by kendrick's Link-Starter Husbands-Holy Frack?

Question

Whats your opinion ? Is this prevalent ? I mean getting out a bad marriage is one thing but starter marriages ?

http://www.marieclaire.com/life/sex/advice/starter-husband

I’m just really not ready to be committed like this.” That’s what Andi said to Tucker, her husband of 11 months, after she came home from a crazy day at work two years ago with an overwhelming urge to quit her marriage. Today. Right now. “This just isn’t for me.”

She spoke stoically — no tears, no histrionics. She had been imagining this moment since she moved out of their condo a few months earlier, but she wanted to ease him into the inevitable — to somehow tiptoe her way through the minefield of Tucker’s emotions. But now, having scored a direct hit with those crushing words, she watched Tucker crumple against the dining-room table. “I don’t understand,” he said, over and over. “We’re married.”

“Look, we can do this now, or we can do this five years from now when it’s a lot messier,” Andi said, softening her voice but not her position. “I want a divorce.” The guy didn’t really do anything to deserve this, she thought, looking at Tucker’s ashen face. He must think I’m a monster. Watching her husband shuffle to the door of her temporary apartment, Andi felt awful. But mostly, she felt unbelievably relieved.

“I was married for like, two seconds.” That’s what Andi says to me today, her enormous kohl-rimmed blue eyes crinkling as she recounts her drive-through union. “It was literally an entry-level marriage.” We’re sitting in a café in a funky Boston neighborhood known for its liberal attitudes and alternative lifestyles — this is where gay couples raise their children — and yet women are actually swiveling in their seats, doing indiscreet 180s to get a look at the impeccably coiffed, blonde-haired woman saying such things.

Hearing her words, I flinch slightly. We’re talking about an event that’s supposed to be a turning point in life, and she sounds so cavalier. And yet, Andi is only articulating what the one in five women under age 30 who get divorced every year must think

I hope it's an abberation like you said .

Is Marie Claire endorsing the concept of starter husbands. If so that is sickening.

Teeleecee you are common sense personified

RoVale

i never heard of the term "starter" for anyhting man or woman, husband or wife pertaining to marriage before today

Any man who goes into a marriage with the concept of not trying to be permament is a sick F7cking b@stard in my book

marriages end for many reasons

the "starter" concept should not be one of the reasons male or female to end a marriage

Answer 1

I don't know if it's prevalent, but it is sickening. The picture to illustrate the point is equally disturbing. I don't know what to say to this...I hope it's some kind of aberration. I honestly don't think people getting into marriage expecting to divorce. People's priorities are so ****** up these days.

Edit: Thanks Louis. Too true. LOL. No...this type of thing is so sad because clearly, a lot of men are really hesitant about marriage and relationships in general. Not everybody has affairs, and not every marriage fails. But yes, the stats, and attitudes like this make it seem that way. I'm definitely learning a lot about men's perspectives on these things, and it really is an eye-opener.

Answer 2

Anyone marrying in their early to mid twenties are headed for divorce, for the most part. So many personal changes take place in a person's twenties, and the odds of staying with a mate chosen at that time, into their thirties and forties, are stacked against them. They are only just starting into their adulthood and the responsibilities that go with it...and a marriage just adds to the confusion and stress. This goes for men and women.

The article, to me, illustrates one woman's labelling of her marriage after the fact - it does not describe a 'movement'. It also sounds to me as though she is trying to be cool and cavalier about the whole thing. I have never heard of, nor can I imagine, a woman in her twenties heading into marriage with that kind of forethought or malice. They are too full of romantic notions and wedding bells to be that calculating...

Answer 3

Is this any more disgusting than "starter wives"? A lot of middle aged men are encouraged to dump their older and less attractive wives once they become successful so they can get some hot young woman about half their age.

Answer 4

I usually don't like to give examples of real-life experiences, because I'm quite aware that it's not a study... but I guess it's relevant to this question...

My ex of 3 years was cheating on me, my friend's wife was cheating on him around the same time, my other friend's wife was cheating on him, women at work were cheating on their husbands(and had some hitting on me sexually), everytime I went out---I had taken women hitting on me strongly(sexually), my friend's rental tenants--the woman was cheating on the boyfriend, another female acquintance got pregnant with the guy she was cheating with..... it just seemed like everywhere I turned.
But yes, women feel empowered to go their own way and take the children with them. I've seen it. I'm not saying all women are like this, but I've seen it a lot.

And I'm looking for the stat.... but I had seen that nearly 75% of divorces are initiated by women.

Answer 5

i think the whole concept of "starter husbands" to be rediculous and just plain disgusting.

it seems to me that our culture advocates getting married as the singular acheivement of ones adult life, but no one ever thinks about BEING married. theres this huge rush to have the event, but the way it changes your life is never discussed or thought of. This type of thing is indicative of that very principle.

Answer 6

Woman live in fantasy worlds always complaining about everything and a little boredem will make them look for drama and if the don't get it here comes the divorce.