I deploy to Iraq, 8 months go by with only a few problems here and there, I go on leave and spend more time with family than I do with her, (I appologized) I redeployed after leave and like an idiot spent more time doing other things than talking to her she got upset and we fought for several weeks over it. She then dissappeared on a drug and alcohol binge with friends and some guy, ends up pregnant by the guy and finally comes back, now I havn't given full details but believe me when I say I did EVERYTHING short of cheating myself to drive her TO cheat, I have forgivin her and we are moving on looking forward to the baby, could you do the same?
2007-09-16 17:02:26 · 14 answers · asked by Obie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you're a troll, quit wasting our time
2007-09-16 17:35:56 · answer #1 · answered by ((♫♥♪♫♥♪♫ Shivers ♫♥♪♫♥♪)) 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
NO, not with the baby. I had a similar experience with my ex wife. I went to Korea for 13 months. We decided before I left that what happens while we are apart happens and no questions asked. We would see what happens when I got back to see if we would stay together. We already had some problems. I left her in Texas and she moved to Tennesse where she was from. When I arrived at her apartment, her boyfriend from Texas opened the door for me. I knew then it was over. She knew I was coming that day and about that time and he was still there. We talked and had sex and talked but both of us realized it was over. I filed and went on and I hope she is doing well. The baby tells it all. She didn't even care to take birth control pills or use a condom to ensure she didn't have a child with this guy. Not the responsible person I would like to spend the rest of my life with.
2007-09-16 17:11:19 · answer #2 · answered by baseballdad69 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think you both made mistakes. if you can make it work go for it. but it may be difficult for you once the baby is there because you may resent the child knowing its not yours. but if you truly love this woman, forgiveness is needed because from what you wrote, you didnt exactly treat her as you should have. no, she never should have cheated, im not justifying that. but you two shouldnt have even been together during that time. so, only the two of you know if you can TRULY move on and look forward to this child. if the other man doesnt want to be a father, adopt the child as your own. but if he does want to be involved, you have absolutely no rights as a father and he gets to make the choices along with your girlfriend
2007-09-16 17:07:33 · answer #3 · answered by raspberry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes if you really love each other and you are into being with her and taken care of her.. i am sure with all you said you done i might of done same thing all but get pregnant.. i am smart enough to protect my self one way or another. but if your willing to take her back and take care and love this baby as your own i think its great.. i do think you both might want to talk to a counselor before baby comes and make sure you both are on the same page in your lives.. so you and her and the baby can have a good live and loving parents.. and i commend you for taken responsibility for pushing her away from you and seeing that you did. and sounds like shes very lucky to have you in her life and willing to do that.. just dont be throwing up what things you did and she did to each other... its over and you need to go forward starting today and be willing to let the past be just what it is the past. good luck to you both
2007-09-16 17:22:16 · answer #4 · answered by Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If u want 2 stay in the relationship, do so. But dont move in 2gether or give the baby ur last name until u give urself some time (1+yrs) 2 make sure that is want u really, really want.
2007-09-16 18:07:07 · answer #5 · answered by michelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, its wonderful that you found it in your heart to forgive her. but, no matter what your actions were, she needs to take responsibility for her actions. just because you spent more time with your family does not give her the right to behave so badly. personally, i think that that u are a better person than i am for raising some other guys kid that she got pregnant with when she cheated on you. good luck, i hope that everything works out for you.
2007-09-16 17:09:30 · answer #6 · answered by bumblebee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How bad could it have been if you didn't cheat on her? Drugs? Alcohol? Go to jail? So. Welcome to my life. She shouldn't have come back pregnant with another man's child in her. This is hard. It will be very hard for you but you must find it in your heart to forgive her COMPLETELY if you both are going to give it a try.
2007-09-16 17:08:06 · answer #7 · answered by shallytally 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way!
I guarantee that there's no way that the 2 of you will be living together or married for very long. It doesn't sound like you're too bright if you're thinking about this.
What in the hell are you thinking? Run, man, RUN!
2007-09-16 17:18:50 · answer #8 · answered by Carl R 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's what seperates men from boys. I salute you for accepting her and taking responsibility and for your decision to forgive. Tell her I said forgiveness is almost as great a quality as love is.
2007-09-16 17:20:14 · answer #9 · answered by hiba 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure I would be able to do the same, but if it works for the two of you and you are truly happy and committed to each other now....that's all that matters!
2007-09-16 17:40:21 · answer #10 · answered by ladybug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, sounds like your actions forced her into a bad behavior. If you were there maybe she wouldn't of gone into self distruct mode.
2007-09-16 17:17:57 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋