It's pretty simple since we been married,we have had an exceptional relationship.But the last couple of years is lacking in the getting busy department.If you know what I mean?
We have been married since 2001.
2007-09-16 16:35:52 · 45 answers · asked by rmelawe 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Time to start leaving the toilet seat up !!!
Goodnight everyone !!!
Plz, answer my question while I go sleepy..ty
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Apckvs7TPN1BC5Ec2p8rZansy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20070916200101AAbKq7W
2007-09-16 16:41:56 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
What are you doing to make her want to give it up. Women are more turned on and sexual mentally. It's not just a physical thing for them. When they say, you are flirting and foreplay lasts all day, they mean it. Doing the dishes so she doesn't have to, cooking, back rubs with nothing expected in return... Those things really work for women. Also you have to break free from the mono tiny that happens sometimes. Plan an entire day around her. I mean EVERYTHING. Find a sitter if you have kids, know where your taking her for dinner and make reservations. (go somewhere they take reservations) do something she has always wanted to do like take dance lessons or go to the museum and make it a surprise. Say, "Honey tonight's all about you, and how much I love and appreciate you." and then really make it all about her. DO NOT expect anything in return. No pressure is key. Let her come to you when she's ready, just make her want to come to you.
If that doesn't work : Open the lines of communication. I'm sure you've tried telling her how you feel and she may feel attacked. Try approaching it on a calmer level. Open a bottle of wine, have a glass and ask how she is feeling, what she thinks is going on between you and what you can do to help. Sometimes it may seem as though women are so emotionally selfish and they just cut you off for the hell of it. It's not usually the case. We are just wired differently and you have to bite the bullet and work a little harder when you may not feel you should have to. Hey, we put up with your farting, football, not cleaning up after yourselves... 24/7 and we love you anyway.
2007-09-16 16:53:44 · answer #2 · answered by alicat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A good place to start is with your partner in" getting busy". Timing is usually a major consideration when communicating on the subject of sex. Change can be motivated by a reaction or an experience. Asking if there is a time you can talk about your relationship may start the ball rolling. When things are "ok" is usually a better time.
2007-09-16 17:10:30 · answer #3 · answered by Rick L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Throughout life sex has seasons. If you have small children, this sometimes slows your sex life down. The responsibilites, stresses, etc. You need to help your wife find time for "getting busy". Talk to her, ask her what she needs in that dept. She may need you to help in some way and allow her to unwind. If it isn't that she could have a hormone inbalance that is effecting her libido. You need to have open communication with your wife. Tell her you miss the intimate times together. Ask her what you can do to help her get in the mood.
But essentially, talk to your wife BEFORE it becomes a problem and you are tempted to cheat.
2007-09-16 18:01:24 · answer #4 · answered by Nicole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in the same boat, only I'm the wife- well fiance, but we are getting married next year. anyways, we have to read 4 books for premarital counseling before marriage, and the first book we just read- "the Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman (heartfelt commitment one) I highly suggest you read this, it makes total sense. Your love language might be physical touch (as mine is), and hers might be something completely different. So, you need to figure out what hers is, and try to please her more in that area, then she'd be more willing to please you in your way- physical touch. So really- if both of your "love tanks" are full, then you both will feel great. She may need more quality time, words of affirmation, receiving gifts, acts of service or even physical touch herself. Anyways, the book explains it so much better, but it's a quick read, not too long of a book, and it really has helped our relationship even though we are good anyways. But the times I notice when we lack physical touch of any kind, it's because we aren't having enough quality time.
Talk to her- be honest, let her know how you feel. She may not realize you aren't quite satisfied.
Good luck!
2007-09-16 16:48:15 · answer #5 · answered by m930 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
After a few years, it's so easy to get into a routine and become complacent with each other. If she is purposely cutting you off, it's her way of letting you know something is bothering her. Find out what it is, correct it, and you'll be back in business in no time at all.
2007-09-16 18:09:36 · answer #6 · answered by Tweety 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If things have been good for a long time and now they're not you have to make some changes. are you doing something different now? workin more, are kids occupying a lot of her time? Sometimes you have to start all over. Plan dates, take her places she likes to go, do things together that you always used to enjoy. Go out of your way to tell her you love her. You wowed her before, do it again!!!! How can she resist you?
2007-09-16 16:52:29 · answer #7 · answered by nitowl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to take your wife away to some romantic place (a bed and breakfast for a weekend or an island resort...either is good) and TALK. You need to find out why she is no longer interested. Usually, this has to deal with your relationship out of the bedroom, not in it. Something is wrong in your relationship. Once you get that fixed, the other should improve.
2007-09-16 16:47:45 · answer #8 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Surprise her with a new technique or flowers, or a night at a sexy hotel. Be sure to show interest in her day and laugh at her jokes. Tell her she's cute/pretty, whatever. Women respond mightly to men who look at them and LISTEN to them (and comment). Slowing down a bit in the sex life isn't uncommon after a few years of marriage but can be prevented if she knows it's a way for you to show your love. And when you do hit the bedroom, make it all about her once in a while.
2007-09-16 16:42:45 · answer #9 · answered by red 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you're interested in saving the marriage, couples counseling. You don't have to be arguing to want to seek counseling. It can open doors of communication that haven't been before. If the two of you work, it can affect your relationship in the department of gettin' busy. Maybe a little vacation away from the routine.
2007-09-16 16:45:28 · answer #10 · answered by Carol T 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Talk to her and ask her why. She will probably just yell at you and tell you that there is nothing wrong. On the bright side, it's not like she can cut you off. You are only 6 years deep, so you might as well push until she tells you what the problem is.
2007-09-16 16:44:27 · answer #11 · answered by MAD MEL 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋