For those of you that have followed some of my post, you knwo that my husband and I have had some major issues. At this point I am not sure that I can stay here. We don't even fight anymore. We never have sex. In fact when I try to get things started, he gets sick (no joke). We never kiss not even during sex. I know that he is not cheating because I have spys at his job, and a nanny keeper on the computer. We never talk anymore. in fact he is so tuned out that I have to yell his name when I want to talk to him or when our child speaks to him. I am not sure what to do anymore. I'd love to hear your advice, and please don't get nasty. I get enough of that as it is.
2007-09-16 16:33:14 · 28 answers · asked by Brandi 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why do you not trust your husband? If I thought my husband had spies at my job or a "nannykeeper" on the computer, I would freak out. Needless to say, someone so domineering would not have much of a place in the romance department either. Lighten up! Try to remember what you were like when he married you and try to find that woman again.
2007-09-16 16:43:12 · answer #1 · answered by drewxjacobs 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Living like a roommate with husband?
2014-12-15 17:03:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, there isn't really much to say.
Some roommate or married singles relationships work fine. Not a lot of fun some or most of the time, but they work fine.
The finances work fine. The kids are taken care of fine. Everything is ...fine. A bit dull maybe, and less than fulfilling to be sure...but fine.
My bet is that most people decide that their life and happiness is more important than anthing else, and then bail out on the relationship.
So it's really up to you. What do you want?
2007-09-16 16:45:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not trying to be nasty but "I have spies at his job" and "nanny keeper on the computer" are not the most loving phrases I've ever heard. It honestly sounds like you are pretty controlling. You might be controlling the life out of him. I read back through some of your posts and it seems at one time he was having a flirtation. Guys are human too. You can only push another person so far before they will seek out companionship with someone who understands them. You've thought about doing it as well. If you don't trust him and you feel like roommates then go ahead and get some counseling or get outta there..... Good luck :)
2007-09-16 18:54:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he on medication for his bipolar issue? I have heard from other friends that the meds if not properly dosed can take away sexual desire, create a zombie-like person.
Can you contact his doctor/psychologist and make an appointment for yourself? Discuss your feelings, his reactions or non reactions and maybe the doc can give you some strategies to work with. The doc also needs to be aware of how hubby is acting because he may not know he is acting strangely. Mental illness or chemical disorders are tricky and complicated to deal with. It takes a special partner to be able to handle this situation. And he just may need you to be his health advocate because he can't do it for himself.
My heart goes out to you! But you fell in love and married him for a reason, so if you can find a way to help him get mentally healthy again you just may see the man you married emerge from this reclusive, depressed human.
2007-09-16 16:58:06 · answer #5 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't say how long you've been married or when the no sex problem started. If you've only been having the problem for a few months then I'd give it more time and try to work it out. If you have a ton of other problems already in addition to this sex problem then maybe it's not worth working out after all.
2007-09-16 22:20:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
And you want this guy to stay with you? Spys at work? Nanny on the computer? How about, You never TRUST HIM!! Build the man up. Don't tear him down. Women love to emotionally beat up their men sometimes because it's their only defense. What do you want in a realtionship anyhow? A husband that's like the remote control? you turn him on and turn him off whenever you want to?
2007-09-16 16:49:43 · answer #7 · answered by runner45 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly sweetie I don't see a reason for you to stay. Your marriage has been over for a long time. You deserve to find someone who would care and love you. Don't waste your time with him. The man is like mummified or something. Are you sure he is still breathing? I'd be worried. Pack up and go. You have to leave him, he is not going to go back to what he was before, and that's assuming that he ever was. Good luck.
2007-09-16 16:47:06 · answer #8 · answered by Ricardo R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Aww, sorry that this is happening to you..I've always believed that the opposite of love is not hate...
It's indifference..
ANd when you say you're not fighting anymore..that's a bad sign..telling you that things are beyond rapairable. It happened to me, so I know what you are going through..I ended up puting up with it for a year until I finally just moved out and filed the divorce papers..well, we're good friends now..so I guess in the end it worked out for the best..You need and deserve happiness so my only advice is follow your heart at this point- save yourself..
Best wishes dear.
2007-09-16 16:46:33 · answer #9 · answered by contessa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This relationship has been over with for awhile. Is your husband even acting like he wants to be able to work things out with you? Sounds like not.
And he even gets "sick" about the sex part, which is a major turnoff. There is no more communication. Maybe it's time to get a divorce.
2007-09-16 16:43:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋