"Infertile Mertle"?

Question

I've been trying to get pregnant for four years now. I've tried adoption,IVF,Fertility Treatments,Dieting and Exercise. and nothing has worked. I cannot Explain the Uncontrollable Hurt I feel Whenever I See Someone With A Baby!! there is A Feeling Of Sadness,Hurt, Pain And Just overall depression.I love hearing of Babies and New life It's just that I keep Asking Myself "when's It Going To Be My Turn?"The pressures to start & raise a family can be enormous — to the extent that because i haven't done it yet I feel as though something must be deeply wrong with me. I feel Depressed and jealous and burst into tears when I find out another one of my friends or someone i know is pregnant. No one seems to understand. it's just so much frustration i feel whenever somebody asks me "So When Are You going to have a baby?" ti's not like i haven't been trying dammit! People keep asking me when we're going to start our family. What can I say without being rude? how do I get through this?

Okay for those who don't know i had someone to comment and say something brash about my marital status,I didn't think it was all that important with this question but for that person who said "Get Married first because god doesn't bless babies out of wedlock"
I just want You To know That I Am Married so read thoroughly before you make stupid *** asumptions!! You damn Tool!

Answer 1

i don't have a real answer for you.... but are you religious? if none of the other avenues have worked for you .... you might want to start praying for the answers you want.... if you already do... then maybe its just not time..... sorry for this... but i know how you feel with the jealousy and whatnot... this too might improve with time.... as far as how to tell people an answer without being rude... just tell them "when its time"... good luck and i hope things get better for you.....

Answer 2

I know exactly what you are going through, and I'm so sorry... I have PCOS, and I've been trying for a baby for so long, and my sister just found out she's pregnant, and already has one daughter. I'm so happy for her, but jealous also because I to sit and think when will I have one?! People at work always ask so when and your hubby going to have a little one? I'm always like well it's going to be awhile b/c we have infertility issues, and it's a sore subject for me... I don't see that is rude to let people know that... I am extremely depressed over not being able to have a baby, I bawl anytime my husband and I talk about our options, because we aren't that rich and can't afford Invitro or adoption... So we are just hoping for a lucky cycle to come along! I just always keep in mind, that everything happens for a reason and God has a plan and just enjoy the time with my husband! Good luck to you!

Answer 3

Isn't that just like life it seems that those of us that don't want a baby always end up having one. My husband and I don't have any children and I don't want any. When people ask me when we are going to start a family I just tell them that we have a family already. God has nothing to do with you getting prego. Just keep trying and don't be so stressed out about it. Your body doesn't want to be prego and stressed. Keep the romance having sex isn't always about having a baby. Get some oils and have a good rub down before hand. Try different positions different places in the house. HAVE FUN!!! If all that doesn't work then adopt. My husband is adopted and his parents are the best that anyone could ask for. Life is chaos at its best just go with the flow. :)

Answer 4

I have four children infertile mertile. I lost my virginity when I was 15, was active with no birth control or condoms yet I didn't get pregnant till I was 20 years old. My second child did not come along till I was 30, again, no birth control or condoms. Once my second child came though I couldn't stop getting pregnant.

I was so stressed out and depressed about not getting pregnant when I married at 24 years old. I went through tests and so did he. As soon, as I stopped thinking about it, stopped worrying about it, and essentially forgot about it I got pregnant.

Tell those people that keep asking that you do not appreciate them nagging you about your life and then be happy. Forget about the baby issue for awhile and live. By the way, babies are a lot of work, a lot of expense is necessary, and they grow up to be quite demanding individuals with ideas of their own that can make you a nervous wreck for a good while.

You just keep the faith and things usually turn out better once you feel confident that they will be better.

Answer 5

I am sorry that you are going through this. I have also been trying to get pregnant for some time now. We've been married for a little over 3 years, but no luck. I have PCOS and other hormonal problems. I have the same problem with my family ... "when are ya'll gonna have a baby?". You just need to tell them that when the time is right, and when God blesses you all to have a baby you'll have one. The thing we need to realize is that not everybody will get a chance to be a parent. Just like everybody will not get married. Sad but true. Good luck!

Answer 6

I'm sorry about you not being able to get pregnant. The only thing I can suggest is going to your nearest health food store and picking up Chasteberry. It usually comes in a liquid form but you may be able to find capsules. I read in a health magazine that 5 out of 10 women who were deemed "infertile" got pregnant using Chasteberry within a 4-5 month period. There aren't side effects that I am aware of but if you do decide to use it make sure you stop taking it the minute you find out your pregnant. Good luck. I hope it works for you.

Answer 7

I know this sounds so easy, but I know it isn't. You need to totally forget about having kids, and start leading your life, and enjoying it. You are putting to much pressure on yourself to start a family. You must have been checked out physically and are able to have kids, and your husband must have been checked out also, so it is a matter of taking a rest from trying. I have friends that went thru the same thing as you. They finally quit trying, adopted a child, and within the year had a child on the way. Nerves can cause a lot of problems.

Answer 8

Just tell those rude, obnoxious assjacks that you'll start a family when the time is right for YOU. They don't have to know about your situation. If they can't understand that, then maybe you'll have to be a little rude to get your point across. Hey, it isn't like they weren't rude first!

God has a plan for you, honey, and don't worry. I don't want to be forward or anything, but maybe all the stress you are under has something to do with your inability to get pregnant. May I suggest yoga or meditation, something with a mind-body component, to bring the stress down a little??

Answer 9

First off, I am so sorry for what you're going through. I know it's difficult. My husband and I did infertility treatments for 2 years before getting pregnant with our daughter, who's now 17. We were then blessed with our son a little over 13 years ago (after round #2).

I would smile nicely (yet viciously) at someone who is rude enough to ask such personal questions of you about your decisions in childbearing that it is, quite honestly, none of their business. I wouldn't be rude, but I would be direct, because it really is none of their business, and they're being quite rude in asking you about it. Hopefully those close to you know of your challeneges.

As far as adoption goes, I can tell you it is a very viable option--however you need to get the word out that you're looking for an infant. Newborns are tough to come by, and I have so many friends who have adopted who did it through a "friend of a friend." I have a good friend whose hubby had put the word out at work, one of his co-workers had a cousin who was pregnant (teenager), and didn't want to keep the baby--and voila! They got their baby.

I can tell you the way I got through it all was through my faith in God. It was a time in my life that I really learned the power of prayer, and felt that I had a Heavenly Father who was (and is) concerned about ME. I won't lie and say it was easy, it wasn't, and I wouldn't go through all that again for anything. But I'd do it all again to get my children. They are definitely worth all the crap we went through to get them here.

I know there are support groups out there, and you might need to seek counseling as well. Ask your infertilty gyn if he/she knows someone. Many docs will also have a therapist in their office, since it is a situation that's ripe for depression, and takes a huge toll on a marriage.

God bless, and keep your chin up!

Answer 10

You sound like such a loving person, and my heart gos out to you. I can not understand why ivf hasn't worked, don't give up. And don't let people and situations that you may find yourself in stress you out. My advise is to just relax and try to stop thinking about it at all. I am going to pray for you, and you pray to, prayer changes things. I truly hope this time next year you will be awaiting your new bundle of joy. Good luck And God bless!

Answer 11

I know you are getting frustrated and thats normal but it will only stress you out more and make it even harder to relax and let Nature take its course. Sometimes it takes some women longer to conceive than others. My Sister was like yourself and her Doctor gave her a few tips such as when having Sex, put your hips on a pillow to help the Sperm to find the right path, also do not jump right up after having sex to clean yourself, lie still a few minutes this also allows the sperm to make its way to the path they need to swim to, to reach the desired location. It took her about 6 years to conceive but she is a happy Mother of 2 boys today. Don't give up...I will be praying for you...