Men, can you please tell me how hard it was. How long did it take? Did the guilt keep you there longer than you would have liked?
2007-09-16 15:15:22 · 9 answers · asked by R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh, just leave for the other guy. Don't put your decision off on us.
2007-09-16 15:20:48 · answer #1 · answered by Sarrafzedehkhoee 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My current husband left his wife for "the other woman", but only because he got caught big time. However that relationship/ fling didn't last long..a couple months. Then I met him a few months after that. Things between us were/ are wonderful, Happy healthy relationship, kids, a house, great sex... but now he's cheating on me as well..he just doesn't know yet that I know and have proof.
The point (as I'm sadly finding out) is~ Most men don't leave their wives for the other women, but some do if forced by guilt and shame. If he truly loved you and wanted to be with you he'd leave his wife straight away. he doesn't love you and when or if you 2 end up together in the end...He will cheat on you too. That part NEVER changes.
It isn't worth the heartache in the long run to get tangled up with a cheater... trust me.. I 'm going threw it right now and I know he'd NEVER leave me for "the other woman" unless I 'outted' him and the affair, but it still hurts. The old saying is true to form "Once a cheater Always a cheater "
Good Luck
2007-09-17 11:55:20 · answer #2 · answered by busymum 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I've seen your questions and thought I would give you a been there done that answer from the wife's perspective. When you live the day to day stresses with someone, it is easy to think the grass is greener on the other side. My husband did this to me. His parents died within 7 months of each other. I had a very serious health scare (cancer) and he didn't deal. He started talking to someone and during their conversations bonded. This is really easy when you do not have to talk about any of the hard issues i.e. bills, kids, health, schedules and all the other stresses of life. They could joke and talk about fantasies and didn't talk about anything stressful. In other words it is an escapism. The other side is that I had no clue that there was a problem, but he was telling this woman all sorts of things i.e. we had already talked divorce, we weren't having sex, we lived like brother and sister. I felt it wasn't really fair to me because we weren't fighting, I took care of his dying parents and he didn't say he had any issues. When I confronted the other woman who was also married, she cried and told me she would not call my husband. I found e-mails to the contrary and talked to her husband. She had the gall to get mad at me and said I was trying to break up her family and she wouldn't do that to me. She is still with her husband, but she tried to get my husband to leave me. It is curious to me that she was so mad when supposedly she was leaving her husband.
We are together now. I have opened my eyes to alot of his issues and we are working through them.
Alot of men that cheat, want the best of both worlds. They want someone to take care of their family. They want to escape their daily stresses. They don't want to deal. You may be his escape.
If he did leave his wife, how do you think you would handle his kids? Unless they are really young, they will realize that you were involved with their father before the divorce. It's hard enough blending two families after divorce.
Look at why people have affairs at "Marriagebuilders.com". It is very informative.
P.S. If he is not honest with you now, do you think he will be honest with you after he leaves his wife?
2007-09-17 00:07:47 · answer #3 · answered by Nicole 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If a married man truly loved another woman, it wouldn't be hard AT ALL for him to leave his wife and there wouldn't be ANY guilt. But, the reality is, most married man who fool around on their wives, never intend on leaving their spouse. They just want to continue to have sex. And, they'll say whatever they think the dumb tramp wants to hear, just to keep the sex coming.
2007-09-17 00:07:15 · answer #4 · answered by Sondra 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my ex left for the other woman, and i do not feel he had any guilt at all. put all of the blame on me to deflect people from looking at him. i do not know if he felt guilt, he did say he had not treated me fairly, but he was not willing to do therapy or forgive whatever it was he said i had done to him, so it was not really about me but within himself. he wanted to escape the bills, the work on the hone, and being responsible. i do not think it was hard on him at all to leave something that he felt caused him problems, and move on to someone he thought would not .
2007-09-17 06:43:06 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I never had another woman; thank you very much. If you are dating a married man, what makes you think that he will be different with you (faithful)?
I am not being critical of you (although it is wrong what you are doing), I have been in the same position as you. I'm not proud of that, in fact, I'm ashamed. I did it out of ignorance.
I just want to warn you, that she wasn't faithful to me either.
2007-09-16 22:25:25 · answer #6 · answered by Smartassawhip 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
men don't leave for the other woman. learned this lesson the hard way. trust me
2007-09-16 23:06:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You leave b/c its been used, torned, wearing out, old stuffs. looking for a new one. Some people wants more different.
2007-09-16 22:24:58 · answer #8 · answered by Seph2 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no
2007-09-16 22:40:32 · answer #9 · answered by bluejazz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋